1:29 The Difference Between New Year’s Resolutions and New Year’s Goals
8:48 The 3 Qualities You Need to Set Smart New Year’s Goals
17:13 New Year Goal Setting with Rachel Hollis
28:31 Challenge: How to Love the Enthusiasts in Your Life
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Instead, set smart New Year’s goals you’ll actually accomplish.
Believe it or not, they’re not the same thing!
Resolutions might as well be considered a wish. It’s an idea of something you want to try that year. Sure, it’s fun and inspiring. But the truth is: We fall off the wagon by February. It’s the reason why you can’t find an empty treadmill at the gym in January. But by February, you can walk right into the gym and start running.
Goals are different from resolutions because goals are action oriented.
Zig Ziglar made goal setting popular with something he called the Wheel of Life. We talked about this in a recent podcast episode so if you haven't listened to that already, go back and hear me deep dive into the Wheel of Life in episode 88. To give you a quick recap, there are seven areas in your life you should prioritize and set goals in (especially New Year’s goals!):
Today, I want to help you start 2020 on the right foot by setting New Year’s goals in each of these areas.
Because your ability to set goals will completely affect not just how you start the year, but also how you end it.
Every goal you set should have these three qualities:
A New Year's resolution like, “I want to run more,” doesn’t work because it’s not specific. And when you’re not specific, you can’t track your progress or even know if you’ve accomplished it or not.
For example, if you told me you wanted to run more, I’d ask you, “Well, how? Do you want to do long-distance running? Sprints? Do you want to run on the treadmill or outside? Do you want to do trail runs on your own or join a running group?” There's a lot of different ways for you to run more, so get specific.
Then, I’d tell you to make the goal measurable by asking, “How much more?” Maybe you can run one mile right now without stopping and you'd like to work your way up to running five miles. Or maybe you want to sign up for a race and run a 5K or a half marathon. What is the measurable distance you want to be able to run in order to know that you've actually achieved this goal?
Finally, I’d tell you to give your goal a time limit by asking, “By when?” If your goal doesn’t have a time limit, you won’t be able to measure whether you actually reached it or not.
Related: How to Write Smart Goals
Incorporating those three qualities into your New Year’s goal of running more would turn it into something like: I want to do more long-distance running and complete a half marathon by March 30th.
Now, that’s a goal! You’ll know exactly what you're working on and working toward. And of course, because you have these different ways to measure your progress, you’ll know if you achieved it or not, which is great accountability.
Let’s take this one step further. If you really want to accomplish your goals this year, then I want you to add three more qualities to make them even stronger. Make sure they’re:
Your goals need to be things you want, otherwise you won’t work hard for them.
There’s a long list of things I could never do no matter how many goals I set. And honestly, the same is true for you. Your goals should push you outside your comfort zone, but they shouldn’t be a pipe dream.
There is power in writing things down. When you write down your goals on paper, you can see them, touch them, and feel them. They become tangible and take on a life of their own.
Y’all, I hope you’ll consider dropping resolutions this year in favor of strong New Year’s goals. Because goals that are specific, measurable, yours, realistic, in writing, and have a time limit are much more likely to be accomplished than a New Year’s wish.
I'm so excited about my guest today, Rachel Hollis! Rachel is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, an unbelievable motivational speaker, the host of the Rise and Rise Together podcasts, and the founder and CCO of The Hollis Company. Oh, and she's also a wife, mom of four, and goal-setting master!
On this episode, Rachel and I talk about:
Years ago, a friend shared something brilliant with me.
She told me that most people fall into one of two categories: the wow person and the how person.
You know the wow person—you can't miss them! For them, everything is wow! “Wow, I have a great, new idea. Wow, we should totally do that. Wow, let’s take that vacation and leave tonight!” Can you take a wild guess who the wow person is in my marriage?
But we can't all be wow people—and that’s for the best. We all need our how people.
The how person usually counters the wow person with questions like, “How will this work? How long will this take? How much money will this cost? How would you feel? How will I feel? How will this end? How will we get it done?”
We need these people because they make sure things actually happen. While the wow people are busy dreaming and running off cliffs, the how people are asking very good, important questions about time, budget, resources and a path to success.
Related: Say What They're Thinking
This world is full of both wow people and how people. And as you can imagine, in most marriages, there’s a combination of both—opposites definitely attract.
The advice I received that day when I learned about these two types of people was about how the two can work better together. And I’ll tell you, it’s been transformational in my marriage.
Here’s how it goes:
If you’re the how person and you have a wow person in your life, you’re probably used to the wow person coming home every night with a new idea—because they always do. Am I right? They barge through the door and go on and on about their brilliant, new idea.
Typically, the how person will immediately go into their how questions. But today, I want to challenge you to do something different.
If you’re the how person, instead of going directly into your questions, don’t ask any how questions for 24 hours. I know. That’ll probably be really hard for you, but it doesn't matter. No how questions for 24 hours! Instead, join them in their wow by responding with enthusiasm like, “Wow, that’s amazing. Wow, that’s interesting. Wow, that's creative.”
If, after 24 hours, the wow person in your life is still talking about the same wow idea—which is highly unlikely because by then they’ve usually moved on to 17 different, new, more exciting ideas—only then can you start asking all of your how questions.
I know it sounds crazy, but just try it and see how it goes.
When I come home, my husband is very tempted to ask me all of his how questions when I have a new idea. But the reality is: I have a new idea every day. Very rarely do I come home and have an idea that I stick with days or weeks later.
But if it does stick, then, of course, we can get into the plan and all the practical stuff. But you know what? That’s why both types of people are important. We can’t have exciting, new ideas without the wow people, and we can’t bring those ideas to life without the how people. We need wow people and their big dreams as much as we need how people and their details.
I hope this not only encourages you to appreciate someone that might be wired differently than you, but also gives you some practical tips to work better with them.