2:12 Having Faith in Different Seasons
4:15 Three Ways to Live Out Your Faith for Yourself and Others
16:13 Having Faith When Life Gets Hard with Amanda Bible Williams
50:30 Encouragement: God Can Use Your Crumbs
Business Boutique Conference
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If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.
New podcast episodes are available every other week.
And sometimes I have this pattern in my life where I might go a season—a few weeks, a month, maybe even a few months—without going to church. This is embarrassing to admit, but life gets hard. You have babies . . . You get sick . . . Sometimes it's just tough to get there.
But every single time I go back to church after one of these seasons, I notice something: I have this mindset that I'm doing it for God. I'm going to be a good Christian. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to get my brownie points. I'm going make God so happy with me because I'm showing up. And every single time I go back, I experience the same feeling: I was there for me.
God invites me to church. God invites me into His story and into His plans. Not because He needs me, but for me—because I benefit from it.
I don't know if you’ve ever experienced something similar, but I think it's really common to believe that about anything we do. Whether it’s going to church, reading our Bible, praying, or even giving our time, we start to believe the lie that we’re doing it for God.
But the truth is that it’s for us. God is all powerful. He doesn’t need you or me. He doesn’t need our money, time or talents. He doesn’t need anything. He’s God! He can move mountains, raise the dead, heal the blind, and part red seas. He can do anything. But He chooses to invite us into His story, and it’s for our benefit.
I want to give you three things that you can do to live out your faith in different seasons. And as you step into God's plan and God's calling and God's purpose for you, you’ll experience the ripple effect in the kingdom and in yourself.
You'll be amazed at how He peels away these layers of pride and wounds and selfishness and sin we didn't even know were there. But as long as we have faith and live it out, we're growing to become more like Him.
So, let's talk about three really simple things that you can do to live out your faith for yourself and others.
Matthew 18:20 (NIV) says “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Sometimes the best gift you can give someone is your presence.
When God is in you, you can show up and show Him to people just by being present. Your presence is a gift and a ministry to the people in your life.
So, just show up. Show up at church. Show up for your friends and family. Show up when someone needs help with their kids. Show up when someone needs a meal. Show up when someone just wants to sit and talk. Just be there for people.
When you give, God is inviting you to open your hands and hold your life, your time, your talents, your money, your energy, your plans, and your agendas with open hands. I believe God calls us to live a life with this posture with open hands where we can freely give and also freely receive.
So, what does that look like for you? Here’s what I know: Every time I give, I think I'm doing it for God and others. And every time, it changes me more than it changes them.
Did you know that God actually moves on your behalf when you pray? I don't know about you, but sometimes when I pray, it can feel like I’m just going through the motions. But that’s not true! When you pray, it actually changes things!
If you're feeling stuck, helpless or stagnant in your faith, you might feel like prayer is the last thing you want to do. But I want to remind you that Scripture is full of examples of how God moves in response to His children. God changes things on behalf of his people when they pray. He can't wait to hear from you and hear your heart as you talk to Him with boldness with confidence.
These simple things are easy ways for you to live out your faith no matter the season: show up, give and pray. When you do these things, you live out your faith as a light to a dark world for other people to see with Jesus helping, leading and guiding you every step of the way.
Y’all, I cannot wait for you to listen to my conversation with Amanda Bible Williams today as we talk about faith. Amanda is the co-founder and Chief Content Officer of She Reads Truth. She Reads Truth is a worldwide community of women who are on mission to read God’s Word together every single day.
On this episode, Amanda and I talk about:
I don't know about you all, but I’ve gone through seasons of my life where I’ve just felt like I don't have anything to give. I want to give. I want to help people. I want to make a difference. I want to show up. I want to do all these things that I feel God calling me to do. But sometimes, I’m just empty, exhausted, burnt out or going through a tough wilderness in my own faith walk. So, how in the world can God use me when I’m struggling to have faith on my own?
About six years ago, I was going through one of these wilderness seasons in my own life. I had been serving as a leader with Young Life on top of working all the time for a nonprofit. It was my last year serving, and I just felt like my heart wasn’t in it. I felt like a hypocrite. I was leading and teaching these high school students, and I didn’t even have it together myself.
All I had to offer were crumbs for these kids. And I remember God saying, I can use crumbs. I can use what you have.
Friend: God can use you—even when you feel like you don't have much to give. God can use what you have right now. You might be going through a tough season just like I was. You might feel like you have nothing to offer. He can use you with what you have right now. Today. Don't discount yourself. You don't have to have it all together.
My friend Christine Caine always says, “God does not call the qualified. He qualifies the called.” If God's calling you, it’s because He wants to use you—even if all you have to offer are crumbs.
Today, we're diving into Part 5 of our series, and it’s all about being willing to go. You have to be willing to go when God opens the door. After He's prepared you and humbled you, and after you've let go of things, you have to be willing to actually step through the open door in front of you. You've been prepared. You've been humbled. You've been faithful. But when God opens that door, you can't just stand there. You can't just stare at it. You can't be scared. You can't be stuck. You've got to be willing to actually step through the door that God has for you.
You know, whenever I first got started speaking, I had no experience, no training, no certification, and no plans to be a speaker. Rachel Cruze (Dave Ramsey’s daughter) had been booked to speak at a conference all over the country in different cities every single day. It was a crazy travel schedule. She was newly out of college, and it was basically two weeks before she was supposed to go on the road.
Dave looked at the schedule and said, “Hey, this is not what we agreed to. This is more than we agreed to. You (me, Christy) have to go back to the conference and tell them she can only do half of the events.” That was a problem. The events started in two weeks, and they thought they had Rachel for 20 dates. I had to be the bearer of bad news. I got on the phone and said, “Hey, I'm so sorry. She's all of the events, but she can do 10 of them, and you can pick whichever 10.”
I'll never forget what Chase (the man on the other end of the line) said to me. He said, “Christy, what am I going to do? I've got her booked for 20 different dates. What am I going to do with the other ones?” And I said, “I'll do them.” And he said, “Can you speak?” I said, “I think so.” You know, I’d never in my life. I just saw a problem and came up with a solution. There was a door that opened in front of me, and I walked through it. I can fix this. I can figure it out. I can make it up as I go. I'm just going say yes to this opportunity before I know how. Did I know how to speak to an audience? No. But I said yes before I knew how.
So, when God opens a door in front of you, you've got to be willing to walk through it. You've got to be willing to go before you know how to say yes. Even if you're not sure how it's going play out, assume that you can. In the absence of information, don't assume there's a rule that you're breaking. Don't assume there's a reason you can't. Assume that you can. And then if you can't, you'll figure it out. God will open doors in front of you, but you’ve got to be willing to go—even if you're scared. Even if you're unsure. Even if you're insecure. Even if you don't know how it's all going to play out. Even if you don't have a perfect plan and a perfect path and a guarantee that it's going to be successful. You've got to be willing to go.
This makes me think about the story of when the Israelites went to explore the Promised Land in the Old Testament. This is the land that God had promised to them, but they would not go and fight for it. They had their part to do. They had to walk through the door. Like the Israelites, we’re participants in this life with God, and even in the plans that he has for us. But an entire generation missed out on the Promised Land—missed out on the plan and the promise that God had for them—because they wouldn't walk through the door. God told the Israelites where He was taking them, that He had gone before them, and that the land was theirs, but they still wouldn’t walk through the door. They wouldn’t go.
Man, that's a powerful lesson. I don't know about you, but I want to be someone that walks through the door. I don't want to miss out on what God has for me over there because I'm scared. Yes, it's scary. You know why? Because the life God has for you is bigger and better than you can imagine. It's more exciting. It's new. It's different. Yes, it's a little bit scary. Yes, it's a little bit unknown. But you know what? If God said it, He will do it. If God opened that door, it’s because He wants you to walk through it.
[share]God’s not limited by your limitations. God’s not limited by your lack of confidence. God’s not limited by your lack of resources or talents. God’s not limited by you.[/share]
So, as we explore five ways to be true to you—five ways for you to step into this bigger, better, more awesome life that God has for you—you have to be willing to go. You have to be willing to say yes before you know how. You have to assume that you can. You have to be willing to step through—even if you don't know how it's going to play out, and even if you don't have a perfect plan. Even if you aren't qualified, certified or confident . . . it doesn't matter. God’s not limited by your limitations. God’s not limited by your lack of confidence. God’s not limited by your lack of resources or talents. God’s not limited by you.
God has something for you to do on the other side of that door. All you have to do is walk through it. That's it. He’ll provide what you need every step of the way. But you have to be the one to take the steps.
Write down where you might be sensing that God wants you to go.
I want you to write that down. I want you to pray about it. I want you to think about it. I want you to ask God what He has in front of you, and then ask Him for the courage to walk through that door.
It's amazing that God not only has these amazing plans for us, but that He also invites us to be participants in those plans. I pray that this encourages you to not only be true to you, but I hope it also builds confidence in who you are and confidence in the God who created you.
Right now, I'm in this season of purging with three small kids. I'm constantly going through closets and toy bins. And when I sit down to do this, I get a little sad. I think about Conley’s sentimental things, or Carter’s shoes that he’s outgrown, or Mary Grace’s newborn onesies. I get a little sad that these seasons of our lives are ending. Even if some of those seasons were hard—like those sleepless nights of the newborn stage.
But you know what? We experience this often. I get really sentimental when something's over. Whether I loved a season or not, I find that there’s something about endings that makes it hard to let go.
I worked at the YMCA for three years. During that time, I worked so hard and so many hours to the point of burnout. So, when this season of my life was ending—when I was leaving a job that my heart had not been in for a while, where I was working every night, every weekend, every week on the holidays—I still felt sad. And I still felt sad even though I was going to a job where I was going to have some balance. I was so excited about where I was going, and yet still sad it was over—still sad to leave behind those relationships, and that season of life, and everything that it represented.
Life can be like that. Endings can be hard and sad. But you know what? Endings make new beginnings possible. Endings make that new thing that God is doing in your life possible.
So, if you're going to live a life true to you and step into this bigger, better, more awesome life that God has for you, you have to be willing to let go of what's behind and what’s no longer right for you.
Friend, you've got to be willing to let some things go. If all we focus on are the endings, we’re going to be sad and filled with regret. But I don't want you to miss the truth of endings: Endings make new beginnings possible. God has something for you, but He cannot put it in your hands until He takes something out.
Isaiah 43:19 (NIV) says:
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”
Being humbled is not fun. Have you ever gone through a season where God was humbling you?
Being humbled hurts—it hurts to your core. It’s more vulnerable than you ever want to be and stings deeper than you ever want to feel. And just when you think you can't take another hit, the hits just keep coming (because that's just what happens in those seasons).
The truth is: God cares more about who you're becoming than where you're going.
Hebrews 12:11 (NIV) says:
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
It seems painful, but your loving Father disciplines because He loves you. And He loves me. And if you're going to be true to you and the person that God created you to be in this bigger, better life, He's going to have to do some things in you before you're ready for it, or even before you can handle it.
[share]God cares more about who you're becoming than where you're going.[/share]
Being humbled is not a one and done type of thing. We're going to go through multiple seasons of this in life. Oswald Chambers, author of My Utmost for His Highest, describes these seasons as valleys of humiliation.
Friend, if you’re in a season of humbling right now or a valley of humiliation, God sees you.
Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV) says:
“The Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
He’s with you in this valley. And I know it's hard, and I know it hurts, but take comfort in the fact that God sees you, and He’s with you. This season’s not forever. He's doing something in you.
I love the Bible verse Isaiah 60:22 (NLT) that says:
“At the right time, I, the Lord, will make it happen.”
Yes, you and I need to work hard. It’s up to us to steward what He's given us. It's up to us to be faithful. But it's not all up to us, because we would point back and go, Look how good I did. Look at everything I accomplished. Look how strong and smart and clever and talented I am. No, no. God says that you should work hard with what He’s given you, but when the time’s right, He’ll make it happen.
So, you've got to be willing to be humbled. Be willing to go through those hard seasons. Be willing to be faithful when it hurts, and when you feel lost, and when you feel wronged, and when you feel abandoned. Be willing to be faithful even there in the valley, because it’s not forever.
But God is doing something in you in that valley to prepare you for what’s next.
I want you to simply ask yourself:
Remember: God’s preparing you for something in this life that’s bigger, better and more awesome than you could ever imagine.
In Part 1, we talked about being willing to experiment. Today, we’re building on that as we talk about being willing to work really hard.
Now, I know this doesn't sound fun, right? Like, who needs more to do? But I want to reframe that for you, because hard work, believe it or not, actually has more unbelievable benefits than you could ever imagine.
So many people come up to me at book signings, out in public, or even in coaching calls, and they say, “Christy, I want to do what you do. I want to be a speaker.” I always respond by asking, “What do you want to say? Who have you spoken to? Who have you talked to? Have you spoken for your local church? Have you spoken for a local community group, or even just a book club or ministry?” They say, “No, no, no. I want to speak on big stages. I want to be a professional speaker.” I'm like, “I hear you, but that's where you start. You start by being faithful in the small things. You start by working hard when no one's watching. You start with the humility of someone who’s willing to do the hard work in the beginning for the payoff later on.”
What areas of your life do you need to work really hard in because you're in a season of just getting started? If you've got this idea in your head about a life that you want to lead, it's going to take hard work.
But we can't just coast through life and expect to wake up one day with an amazing marathon time, amazing business, amazing career, amazing marriage, amazing kids or amazing friendships. It takes hard work.
It takes being willing to be faithful in the things that don't seem like they matter—those small, insignificant things, and those things that are too unimpressive to post about on Facebook. It’s about just showing up and being faithful in the small things that no one ever sees. It's that hard work that not only creates the result you want, but also creates the person in you that you want to be.
[share]The results that you want to achieve and the person you want to become will happen when you put in the hard work.[/share]
I'm a different person today, not because of the big stage, but because of who I became when no one was watching. It was speaking at Kentucky county libraries on a Friday night for three people, or family reunions, or high school reunions, or the events where it was seated for 5,000 and three people showed up.
The results that you want to achieve and the person you want to become will happen when you put in the hard work. It happens in the small things and in the day-to-day grind. It happens when you're showing patience to your kids when you don't want to because they're driving you insane. It happens when you want to snap at your spouse, and you want to be short with them and be hateful, but instead respond with kindness. It happens when you give your time and energy. It happens when you in everything you do, even if no one ever knows it's you. It’s what happens when you show up with excellence, even when you don't get credit.
That hard work is what leads to the results you want in a life that's true to you, where you become the person that you want to be in that life.
I promise you this: If you want to live a life that's true to you, and if you want to lean into the life God has for you, it's going to take hard work.
Write that down and then join us for part three of this series: 5 Ways to Be True to You.
Today, I want to challenge you with something: Be willing to experiment.
If you're going to live a life true to you, then you've got to be willing to try some things. That’s right, I’m talking about being willing to experiment.
Sometimes, we don’t know what we want (or don’t want), what we like (or don’t like), or what we should be allowing into our lives. The best way to figure that out is by trying new things. In order to figure out what’s best for you, you’ve got to be willing to experiment. When you're willing to experiment and try some stuff, you're going to find the things that are you. You're going to find the things that are true to you.
[share]The life that God has for you—the life that’s already in you—is bigger and more fun and more amazing than you can imagine.[/share]
I’ve gone through many different phases in my life as I’ve tried experimenting with what was right for me. Right after college, I decided to move to a 40-acre farm—a real-life farm. Turns out it's a lot of work and really, really hard. But you know what? It was an experiment. It was fun. But during this time, I asked myself: Is this me? Am I a cowgirl? Turns out, I’m not—but it was a fun phase.
I also decided it would be fun to take Latin and ballroom dance lessons and play on an adult soccer league with all Guatemalan men who spoke no English (my Spanish got really good during that time). All of these things were me trying to find myself and figure out: What is true for me? What kind of life do I want to lead? What kind of person do I want to be?
All of us have an opportunity to experiment, try some things, and see if it works for us. But too often, we’re placing labels on ourselves and unwilling to try new things.
Friend, don't place labels and limitations on yourself. Be willing to push the boundary. Be willing to break outside of the box that you put yourself in. Try something new. Expand your world.
So, what are the things that you tell yourself? Maybe you’re thinking: “I'm not a fun mom. I'm not a businessperson. I'm not athletic. I'm not a runner . . .” But you have to be willing to experiment. You have to be willing to go for a run, put on some crazy heels, launch a business idea, or do something really fun and weird with your kids.
And guess what? You might just surprise yourself. You might already be that person. She's in there. She's just buried beneath the expectations of everyone else. So, be willing to experiment. Be willing to try some stuff.
When you do, you might just find that the life that God has for you—the life that’s already in you—is bigger and more fun and more amazing than you can imagine. And that’s a life that is true to you. You just don't know it yet.
Write that down and then join us for part two of this series: 5 Ways to Be True to You.
Many times, it can be easy to feel like we lose ourselves in all of our roles and responsibilities. We get so busy rushing from one thing to the next on the calendar, trying to keep up and perform, checking off all the tasks on our to-do lists. We get milk and sippy cups, take the kids to soccer, get dinner on the table, run our businesses, and keep up with work.
In the midst of all of this, you’re probably asking yourself: Where am I? Who am I in all of this? Where does my identity come from? What are things that are me that feel right for me?
This forced pause we’re all in right now is a great time to stop and think about what’s really true for you. What do you want your life to look like? What do you want your story to be?
We're so busy rushing and keeping up that we never have time to pause and reflect on what we really want our lives to look like, or if the life we’re living is one that’s true to who we were created to be.
I've noticed that when I’m the most stressed, anxious and frustrated, it's not because I'm doing too many things. It's because I'm doing the wrong things. I’m doing the things that aren't in line with my values and that don't feel like me.
[share]We're so busy rushing and keeping up that we never have time to pause and reflect on what we really want our lives to look like, or if the life we’re living is one that’s true to who we were created to be.[/share]
But the opposite is also true: When you spend your time on things you value and things that are right, you’ll feel joy, fulfillment, purpose, peace, less stress and more control. You’ll feel like you're living a life that's right for you.
And that's what I want to help you do. In this new series, I’m going to share five practical things you can do to discover who you are and what's right for you so that you can create a life that's true to you, your values and what God has in store for your life.
I want to help you journal and craft a vision for what a life true to you looks like. So, grab your journal and a pen and answer these simple questions:
1:32 How To Learn From Your Experiences in Sales
5:39 How To Make an Impact In Sales
13:08 Overcoming Sales Rejection with Sarah Sloyan
36:55 Encouragement: Put Yourself Out There
If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.
New podcast episodes are available every other week.
I can count at least 10 times in the last couple years that I’ve had a bad encounter with a pushy salesperson or someone who just wouldn’t take no for an answer. I bet you have too.
You see, every single time this happens, we create associations in our minds. For instance, if that pushy salesperson selling lotion at the mall shoves lotion in your hands every time you walk by, you’re probably not going to walk away feeling too good about sales. I’m willing to bet that every single one of you has had a bad experience with a pushy salesperson.
The problem is that these kinds of negative experiences form our views and beliefs about sales itself. Think about it. When you think of sales or salespeople, you probably think slimy, sleazy, pushy or shady. None of those are positive.
But here’s the good news: Sales doesn't have to be like that. You don't have to be pushy, aggressive, annoying or get on people’s nerves in order to sell. In fact, I hope you don't—that's not good sales . . . or even good business.
Whether you realize it or not, you're all in the business of sales. Sales is how you stay in business, make money, help people, solve problems, and make an impact in your community. Sales is serving people. Sales is telling people how you can help them. Money is just an exchange of value. It's a transaction. Life-change is what you're really selling, and that's what they're really buying. You aren't selling a thing. You’re selling life-change. You’re helping people make their lives better. And if you believe that—which you should—then you better get to selling.
Remember, if you don't believe in your business, no one else will. Stop playing small and calling it holy. God never called you to shrink back and play small and apologize for the dreams and gifts and message and business that He gave you. Start standing up and start speaking up on behalf of this thing that you say you believe in. Start solving problems and making people's lives better.
Start selling.
I'm so excited about today's interview because I'm showing you a behind-the-scenes look at the Business Boutique Academy, my online training and coaching group. In this interview, I’m talking to Sarah Sloyan, the vice president of EntreLeadership at Ramsey Solutions who also happens to be an expert in sales.
On this episode, Sarah and I talk about:
No one likes to be rejected, especially when it comes to sales. But what's interesting is that our fear of rejection actually keeps us from putting ourselves out there and making an impact in people’s lives.
My friend Tiffany Peterson says that 60% of sales occur after the fourth interaction. So that means people aren't necessarily saying no to you because they don't want what you have to offer or because they don't like it. People buy from those they know, like and trust. Maybe that “no” you just heard isn't really a no. Maybe it's a “not right now.” Maybe what they're actually saying is they don't know you well enough, like you enough, or trust you enough yet. Don’t give up. Keep building that relationship so that one day they will be ready to buy from you.
Failure is a stepping-stone on your journey to success. You will fall down. People will tell you no. People won’t like you or what you have to offer. But it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean you quit. It just means you’ve got to learn to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going anyway.
It still doesn't feel good. It's still not fun. But there's a bigger purpose. There are more people that need what you have to give. So, get back in the kitchen. Get back on the horse. Walk back on the stage. Go on Facebook Live. Do the thing again anyway. Be willing to fail and fall down a few times to succeed in the long term for the people that need you. Those are the people you're fighting for. Those are the people that you're going to walk back out there to be able to serve.
Put yourself out there. When you get rejected, remember: Failure is not a sign you shouldn’t do it.
It’s scary out there, but hope is greater than fear. In times of crisis, facts are your friends. So get the facts and other common sense guidance on life and money from thought leaders and my friends, Dave Ramsey, Rachel Cruze, and Ken Coleman.
1:16 Find Ways To Do More of What You Love and Less of What You Don't
9:19 Four Areas of Life Where You Can Live True to Yourself
19:14 Taking Control of Your Life with Chris Hogan
39:41 Challenge: Make Time for What’s Important
If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.
New podcast episodes are available every other week.
Have you ever thought about what it looks like to actually live life on your own terms? That might sound simple, but if we’re honest, most of us have a hard time actually doing it.
I love to do things on my own terms. And because of that, I’ve done a few things that you might say are a little . . . weird. For instance, when I came home from college, Dancing With the Stars was in its first season. One week, an advertisement popped up for Latin and ballroom dance lessons in Nashville, and I thought, I think I’ll do it. So, I did. For almost two years, I took Latin and ballroom dance lessons, and I even competed in a dance competition. Now that's weird.
But that's not the only weird thing I've done. When all my friends were living in the city, I moved to a 40-acre farm with fainting goats, horses, and a mini donkey. While my friends were working their corporate jobs, I was mucking stalls. That's not normal.
And then I decided I wanted to play soccer. So I went to the YMCA in my area and signed up for the adult league. I didn’t have a team to play with, so they put me on a team with all Guatemalan men who spoke no English. And it was one of the most fun experiences of my life (not to mention, my Spanish got really stinking good).
It was amazing how all of these experiences, though weird, were a lot of fun. But what was even more important was that they were things I wanted to do. They were things that were true to me.
Here's what's interesting: Not everyone is quite as comfortable being a little weird, going against the “normal” logical path and plan for their lives, and doing some things that might be different.
Do you struggle with this? Maybe you feel like it’s not logical or practical to do something different. Maybe you’re worried about what people might think.
Friend, I don't want you to wait until it’s too late to decide that you want to live your life. I don't want to look back with that regret and feel like I always made the safe choice or did what other people thought I should do and I’m guessing you don’t either.
Do you know that your life is just that—yours? You don't just have the right to create the life you want. You have the responsibility to. No one can change your life. You have everything you need and all the power in the world to make different decisions today about who you are and what you want for your life, your family and your future.
You have permission to create a life that looks like who you are. You can be true to yourself without worrying about what everyone else thinks that you should be.
I want to give you four practical areas to explore in your own life that will help you be true to yourself. Maybe you're already doing it. Maybe you feel confident in all these areas, but maybe not. Maybe as we walk through these, you’ll start to look at these different areas of your life and realize you’re making decisions based on what other people think. And if you are, would you do anything differently?
You have the right and responsibility to pursue a career that's right for you. You don't have to choose between being happy and making money. You actually can do both, believe it or not. So, what's the right career path, business path or money-making income path for you? How could you use your skills and gifts and talents in a way that could provide income for your life and your family?
So, what does your family look like right now? What are some of the values you hold in your family? What are some of the decisions you make in your family? What does your day-to-day schedule look like? You have a right and responsibility to make your family look like anything you want it to. So, what does that look like for you?
When it comes to money, we often spend money in a way that other people expect us to, whether that’s shoes, home decor, or even where you send your kids to school. We often spend money to create a lifestyle that reflects what other people expect of us. But what if you didn't? What if you were weird?
What changes do you need to incorporate in order to manage your finances in a way that's true to you? Where your money is going is a reflection of your values, not someone else's. So where are you spending your hard-earned money?
What's fun to you? What's exciting to you? What interests you? What gives you joy and brings you energy? What makes life worth living? If we're not careful, we’ll get so busy keeping up with the to-do list of life that we forget to live it. So it's up to you to create the fun.
So, what's fun for you? What are some hobbies you love? What are some things you can do with your family?
Here's the deal: If you want a different life, you have to create it. No one can do that for you. Look at your career, your family, your finances, and what’s fun for you and begin to create a life that you love and are proud of.
I’m so excited for you to meet my good friend and fellow Ramsey Personality Chris Hogan. He’s the host of The Chris Hogan Show and #1 national bestselling author of the books Retire Inspired and Everyday Millionaires. Chris is an expert on taking control of your life and money, and that’s exactly what we’re going to be talking about today.
On this episode, Chris and I talk about:
I’ve been noticing a pattern recently. I speak to women at all different ages and all different stages of life. And here's one phrase that they just keep saying over and over and over again: “Well, when things slow down, I'm going to (fill in the blank).” When things slow down . . . again and again and again.
The belief that is buried beneath this statement is that things will slow down on their own, right? Y'all, they never do. Things are never going to slow down unless you slow them down. Nothing in your life will change unless you change it. Do you understand that? It's not going to change on its own. It's up to you. Don't buy into the lie of “when things slow down,” because you and I both know that things will never slow down.
If you're waiting to have time left over to put toward what's important to you, you’ll never do it. Instead, I want you to make time for what’s important to you.
1:14 Create an Amazing Customer Service Experience
4:30 Five Ways to Improve Your Customer Service
15:14 Customer Service That Disrupts the Competition with Shep Hyken
33:45 Encouragement: Use Your Experiences to Shape Your Customer Service
If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.
New podcast episodes are available every other week.
Do you know why I didn’t write about it? Because I believe, as women, we naturally excel in customer service. We’re relational. We’re great at connecting with people, serving others, nurturing, and thinking about how someone else feels. However, there’s always opportunity to grow, right?
Well, several years ago, I had a pretty frustrating experience with a customer service representative. It was so frustrating that I now use it as an example when I teach on what not to do when working with customers. Here’s what happened:
I got a notification in the mail that my dental insurance had been canceled. As you can imagine, I was really confused because there had been no other conversations about any problems with my dental insurance. And then one day, poof—it was canceled.
So naturally, I called and spoke with a customer service representative, and she told me, “Well, you didn't pay your bill. You pay it every six months, and you didn't pay it the last time it was due.” I responded, “I'm so sorry. I pay my bills. I wasn’t aware that it was due. I don’t remember getting a bill in the mail or hearing anything about this.” And her response was, “Well, we decided to become a paperless company a few months ago, so we just send emails now.”
It turns out, they had an old email that I hadn’t used in years. So, I kindly asked the “nice customer service person” if I could pay my bill right there over the phone and reinstate my insurance. Her response? She threw out three words that still makes me cringe to this day: “Our policy is . . .” Is there anything that makes a customer more upset than hearing, “I’m so sorry, but our policy is . . .”? Nobody cares about stinking policies!
We don’t have to run our businesses that way! In fact, your business will be more successful and more fun when you provide incredible customer service and put your customers before your policies.
I want to give you five ways you can improve your customer service and help your business succeed:
Always, always, always be on time. Whether it’s a shipment going out, returning a phone call or an email, showing up to a meeting—whatever it is, do it on time. When in doubt, I always want you to underpromise and overdeliver.
This one is convicting for me because I’m not great at it—I’m working on it. But this is the most basic way to keep your customers happy. Just be on time and do what you say you're going to do when you say you're going to do it.
Listen, I’ve got a lot of feelings. I have so many feelings that even my feelings have feelings. But whether you’re having a good day or a bad day, your customer doesn't care. Every day, your brand and your business should be having a good day.
Nothing will break trust with your customers like being Dr. Jekyll on one day and Mr. Hyde on another. You've got to be consistent in how you take care of people. Don't be emotional, and don't take your bad mood out on your customers.
I know this sounds really basic, but when we're having a conversation with someone, whether it's a normal conversation, a positive conversation, or even a really heated conversation, we’re always thinking of what we're going to say next.
But instead of doing that, stop, listen, and ask follow-up questions. Most people just want to be heard. When they feel heard, they feel validated and understood.
Never underestimate the power of simply listening to someone's story, complaint, problem, frustration or fear. Listening is a really powerful way to serve your customers and make them feel valued.
As customers, we hate hearing excuses. So don't make excuses to them under any circumstances. If someone is unhappy with your product or something went wrong, there are only three things you need to do:
Did you notice that “explain it” is nowhere on that list? That’s because no one cares about your explanations or your excuses! All they want is for you to own it, apologize for it, and then fix it. That's what your customers care about—I can promise you that.
Please—I'm begging you. You hate it when companies use the word policy as an excuse for why they can't help you because that's exactly what it is: a cop-out. So, if you hate it, don’t do it to your customer! Be a fixer. Do the right thing and take care of people.
Now, of course you need policies to run a business and protect yourself, but at the end of the day, you should always do the right thing—what’s best for your customer. Live your life and build your business by the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
If you want to make your customer’s blood boil, then explain that you can't do something because of “your policy.” And watch how it instantly sucks all humanity, connection and trust out of any conversation with them. It makes your conversation about a transaction, not a relationship. That's what the word policy does.
So, have policies, but don't rely on them when it comes to customer service conversations. Instead, use common sense.
At the end of the day, each of these five mistakes boils down to the Golden Rule. If you're not sure how to handle the situation, all you have to do is ask yourself: How would I want to be treated?
Now that is great customer service.
I'm so excited about my guest today. Shep Hyken is a speaker and customer service expert, and he's the author of the book The Convenience Revolution: How to Deliver A Customer Service Experience That Disrupts the Competition and Creates Fierce Loyalty.
On this episode, Shep and I talk about:
I've got an idea that's going to help you really step up your customer service game. Are you ready? It's so easy.
I want you to think about—and pay attention to—the types of customer service experiences that you have as a customer. I want you to think about the really, really good and really, really bad experiences. We’ve all experienced both. So why not use them to your advantage in your business? Lean into those situations and learn from them.
Ask yourself: What's so great about the great ones, and how can I be great too? What's so bad about the bad ones, and how could I make sure that I'm nothing like that?
You can use these past personal experiences not only to learn and grow from, but also to help you build your business on solid practices that will serve your customers even better.
1:22 Become A Woman Who Supports Other Women
8:42 Five Ways to Become A Woman Who Supports Other Women
18:49 Women Supporting Women with Liz Cox
33:45 Encouragement: Shake Off the Shame
If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.
New podcast episodes are available every other week.
In fact, I don't know where I would be in my life today without the support of other women.
I'm so passionate about being a woman who champions other women, but you know what I've realized? It’s incredibly hard for us women to do. There are just so many things in our world that divide us.
Sometimes the division looks like mommy wars and parent shaming. Other times it looks like being jealous of the woman at work who got the promotion instead of being excited for her. Or maybe it’s rolling your eyes at how your neighbor parents her child differently than you do.
Regardless of how the situation plays out, there often seems to be an ugly division between us and other women. It’s like no matter where we stand, we’re always looking down on someone else.
But here's something I deeply believe: The reason we’re so quick to judge women with decisions different from ours is simply because we're not completely comfortable with our own choices. It's not because we think she's so wrong. It's because we're worried that maybe we're wrong.
When we’re constantly insecure about our own choices, we project that onto other women by judging their decisions.
But if you want to be a woman who supports other women, you have to do what that kind of woman does! You have to connect your desire to be one with your behavior and your attitude—you know, actually walk the talk.
It all starts with the woman in the mirror. That’s why I want to talk about five intentional behaviors you can choose to do to become the type of woman who champions other women.
You have to love yourself before you can love anybody else. The reason we’re so hard on others is because we’re so hard on ourselves. And if there’s no love in you for yourself, I promise you, you’ll have no love to offer other people.
The truth is: You can’t offer something you don't have. So if you want to offer love and champion other women, you need to love yourself first.
You can't champion someone else’s choices if you aren't sure about your own.
Choosing to give grace when the women in your life disappoint you will allow you to champion them despite their imperfections. Because what we all really need more of is grace.
I’m going to mess up, you’re going to mess up, and she's going to mess up. We're all going to mess up. That’s why we should not only offer more grace to others, but we should offer ourselves more of it too.
Empathy is simply putting yourself in someone else's shoes. It's giving them the benefit of the doubt. It's imagining what it would be like to be them.
All day, every day, all we ever think about is how we feel. We look at the world through our lens, unique situation, or personality style, which makes it hard to understand why someone else would respond or act differently than we would.
That’s why it’s so important to have empathy. And what’s amazing is, when you do that, it’s so easy to champion people who are different from you.
If you want people to champion you, champion them. If you want people to love you, love them. If you want people to be kind to you, be kind to them. Give the things you want to get, and I promise you, you’ll get what you want and more.
Y’all, being a woman who champions other women is a beautiful thing. And the best part is, anyone can be that kind of person. When you practice loving yourself, being confident in your own choices, giving grace, having empathy, and giving what you want to get, it's amazing how quickly you’ll move from being a woman who just wants to support other women to someone who actually does it.
All right y’all, I'm so excited for you to meet Liz Cox, an incredible businesswoman and Business Boutique success story. She's the marketing director at Twirl Boutique, co-owner of Mint to Be Boutique, and host of the Twirl Talk podcast. But best of all, Liz beautifully lives out this whole idea of supporting and championing other women.
On this episode, Liz and I talk about:
I've noticed something going around social media and the internet in the last few years that I bet you’ve noticed too.
Shaming has become a trend.
I’ve seen articles like “So-and-so mom-shamed so-and-so.” It’s almost become this force outside of our control—like, at any time, we can become victims of this shame monster.
But it’s just not true. Sure, there are certain things that you might feel ashamed of. If you make a mistake and someone points it out, sure, you're probably going to feel a little embarrassed.
Or let's say there's something you're feeling insecure about, and someone rubs salt in the wound. Yeah—you might take on that shame.
But you know what? There's one key trait I've noticed that makes you shame-repellent, both online and in person: simply being confident.
Be proud of whatever the thing is someone is trying to shame you about. Because people can't shame you about something you're proud of.
For example, if someone tried to make me feel bad online about the fact that I work outside the home . . . well, that would never work because I love my job. I love how I use my gifts. And I'm so stinking proud of what I get to do.
So, if anyone ever tries to shame you and make you feel bad or guilty about something, remember this:
You're in charge of you. No one can make you feel anything. Your feelings are your own. And if you're constantly feeling like a victim to shame or guilt or anything else, you need to take a look in the mirror and rethink who's in control. Because those people who shame you aren’t in control of you. They're not in control of your thoughts or your feelings. You are.
If you want to be a little bit less defenseless to shame and everyone else's opinion of you, find confidence. Find confidence in the choices that are right for you. Be proud of those decisions, because when you're proud of something, people can't make you feel bad about it.
1:20 Sharing Your Story
6:38 Three Reasons You Should Tell Your Story
14:44 How to Tell Your Story with Jamie Ivey
39:10 Encouragement: Wisdom Is Not Weakness
2020 Business Boutique Goal Planner
Get going on your goals and make 2020 your best year yet! Order the new Business Boutique 2020 Goal Planner at BusinessBoutique.com/Planner and use the code BBPLANNER to receive Christy’s Setting Goals video that you can watch right now!
If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.
New podcast episodes are available every other week.
This story is a huge part of my passion and heart behind Business Boutique.
I love sharing the memories I have of our late nights and early mornings in her cake shop. I learned so much from those years helping my mom build her business from the bottom up. But you know what I don’t share as often? How hard it was.
There were so many hard times we had to walk through together. Like the time her cake shop was broken into at two in the morning, or the time we ran out of gas on the side of the road while it was raining. Many of those early years were spent in the trenches watching my mom raise a child and build a business completely on her own.
But it was both those good times and those hard times that made me who I am today.
See, there is power in telling your story. When I share my story, it really ignites the passion in me to champion women from all walks of life who are chasing their dreams like my mom was. And this is the same reason I’m constantly telling you to tell your story too. I tell you to not worry about selling, but to just tell your story—to start with your why.
But the truth is: A lot of people are scared to share their story. When we start to explore our past, we tend to focus on the negative parts of it. And when we see only the negative parts of our story, we immediately feel inadequate and disqualified to do the things we want to do.
But I want to encourage you today: It might just be those parts of you—those “inadequate” beginnings—that position you to do something that no one else can do but you.
So, let's talk about some of the unbelievable benefits that come when you tell your story—both the good and the bad:
Sharing your story causes a ripple effect. It's contagious!
It's amazing how many people think they’re the only ones who feel the way they feel or have experienced what they’ve experienced. But when you open up and share your story and your heart, others realize that there are actually other people out there who can relate to their situation. And you know what? Realizing they’re not alone gives them the freedom to open up and share their story as well!
I love how Craig Groeschel puts it: “We might impress people with our strengths, but we connect with people through our weaknesses.”
Think about it this way: Your story's not just yours. Your story is something that God wants to use to give other people hope for the future—to give them hope through hard times and scary moments.
Are you going through something hard right now? Maybe God wants to use you to shine a light to others.
It's not just an option for you to share your story. It's your responsibility to steward this story that God wants to use to bring hope to other people.
Dave Ramsey has built an incredible business helping millions of people get out of debt. How did this become his job? He went bankrupt and lost everything in his 20s. Because of that experience, he vowed never to take on debt again—and today, he’s successfully helped millions of others do the same thing.
Your story—no matter how dark or how difficult it is—can become your life’s work when you share it with the world.
There are so many incredible benefits to sharing your story. Don’t be ashamed of it. Let it be your testimony that glorifies God because of what He’s brought you through.
So, share your heart. Tell your story. Don't keep it to yourself. God wrote your story, not just for you, but because He wants to bless others through it as well.
My good friend Jamie Ivey is our guest on the show today! Jamie is a speaker, host of The Happy Hour podcast, and author of the book, If You Only Knew.
I'm so excited to have her here today because she has an amazing story. She's going to teach us about how she got comfortable sharing her story—and how it’s changed her life—so we can learn how to share our stories too.
On this episode, Jamie and I talk about:
Last spring, I was training for a half marathon. It wasn’t my first time running a long-distance race while pregnant, so I figured I’d be fine.
And I was fine for most of the training. I’d trained up to a 10-mile run and felt great . . . until the week leading up to the half marathon. All of a sudden, I was having a lot of pain—not just running pain, but actual pregnancy pain. But I just kept telling myself, I've done the training. I can do this.
Still, I continued feeling more and more pain throughout the week. I found myself needing to sit down more—I couldn’t even make dinner at the kitchen counter without needing to sit.
So, I called my nurse to make sure everything was okay and ask her if she thought I could do this half marathon. She said, “Well, you’re a runner. You can physically do it. I'm not going to tell you that you can't. However, if you run this half marathon, by the end, you will not be able to walk.”
As you can imagine—because I’m persistent to a fault—even after those words, I was still considering running the race . . . until that night when I tried to stand at the kitchen counter to cut some fruit for my son and had to sit down again. I finally admitted to myself, Christy, if you cannot stand here to cut some cantaloupe, you probably shouldn’t try to run 13.1 miles tomorrow.
So, that was it—I decided not to run the half marathon. But y’all know me. I wasn't totally giving up. I decided I would do the 5K instead.
Well, that night, I woke up at about 1:30 a.m. with pregnancy insomnia. I was up the rest of the night, so I started talking with God about my plans for the race. And I thought, You know, maybe God is telling me not to run at all—like zero miles. Maybe I should sleep in, rest, and pay attention to what He's trying to tell me.
So, at 4:30 a.m., I decided to sit out of the race completely. No half marathon. No 5K. Nothing.
That was so hard for me. You know what I was hearing in my head? You said you were going to do it. You told people you were going to do it. You put it on your Instagram story. You can do it. You did the mileage. You could do this. You should do it. Are you just giving up? Because you know, you could make yourself do it.
To turn off this narrative in my head and decide to choose wisdom over pride was hard.
The next day, when I gave a recap of this on my Instagram story, someone messaged me and said, “Sometimes saying no is harder than running the race itself.” Isn't that true?
Sometimes sitting out, quitting, tapping the brakes, passing on an opportunity, and slowing down is actually harder than pushing forward and pushing through.
I don't know about you guys, but if I get really honest about what was going on in my head, it wasn’t about performing or caring about what others expected of me. It was about pride.
So, let me share something with you that I'm learning: Pride is not power. It's not strength. It's just pride. And wisdom is not weakness. It doesn't mean you’re less than. It doesn't mean you're settling. It doesn't mean you're lazy. It means you're wise. It means you're smart.
God did not let me go to that race. God did not let me push through, hurt myself, or make the wrong decision.
So, I want to give you a challenge today: Maybe right now you’re facing something hard, and you don’t want to say no or sit back because your pride is rising up. You’re thinking, I can do this. I should do this. What will other people think of me? I told people I was going to do it. Well, I want to encourage you to lean in and listen to God's will for your life—not yours.
Because if He's asking you to push through, I promise you He will give you the strength to do it. But if He's asking you to slow down, sit back, and say no, I promise you, if you lean in and listen, He will not let you make the wrong decision.
1:19 How to Be Authentic
17:03 Being Authentic with Sarah Dubbeldam
41:10 Encouragement: God Did Not Create You to Berate You
2020 Business Boutique Goal Planner
Get going on your goals and make 2020 your best year yet! Order the new Business Boutique 2020 Goal Planner at BusinessBoutique.com/Planner and use the code BBPLANNER to receive Christy’s Setting Goals video that you can watch right now!
If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.
New podcast episodes are available every other week.
A couple of years ago, I was asked to write an article for a very professional publication. Their readers are intellectuals, academics, and probably more conservative and elite. So, you can imagine my surprise that they wanted me—someone who prefers to be more casual and down to earth—to write an article for them about starting a business.
I submitted the article and was a little surprised when they came back with feedback that the tone of my writing was “too chatty.” I was like, Really? You’re surprised by that? Have you not heard me speak, read my blogs, or listened to one of my podcasts? Because that tone is actually my entire brand!
I remember thinking, If you don't want chatty, then you probably don't want me.
Related: Ep 86: Be More Confident by Believing in Yourself
I felt like this publication wanted me to be someone I wasn't. They wanted me to write like an academic with big fancy words, and that's just not how I write, talk or connect with people.
Thankfully, we ended up getting to a good place where they felt like the article met their standards and could be published while staying true to my voice. But it was really eye-opening for me to realize how important it is to not only be authentic, but to be confident in that authenticity, even when life and other people try to push you around or tell you to be someone you're not.
That's why today I want to walk you through how to be authentic in your daily life. This is going to help you not only be authentic, but also remain authentic no matter who tries to push you around. Let’s jump right in . . .
Let me go ahead and start by saying this is not my idea. Brené Brown introduced this idea of vulnerability years ago with her book Daring Greatly and her TED Talk “The Power of Vulnerability.” It's a brilliant concept that says, as we step out in vulnerability—as we open ourselves up, not just to pain but also to love—we’re able to have deeper connections and a deeper sense of confidence in who we really are.
As an Enneagram eight, vulnerability is really hard for me. So often I want to put up a tough exterior like I've got it all together. But the truth this: Authenticity is about trueness, and you can’t live your truest self without being vulnerable. If you’re always holding back a piece of yourself or hiding behind a tough exterior, how can you become who God created you to be?
That’s why vulnerability is so important when it comes to being authentic.
There are two extremes when it comes to telling the truth: There are those who never share the truth, and those who refuse to accept the truth.
Those who never want to share the truth lack the ability to be vulnerable. They want to act like everything is always great, so when someone asks how they’re doing—even if they’re going through a hard time or their kids are driving them crazy—their response is always, “Oh, I’m fine. I'm doing great.”
The other extreme are those who downplay or don’t acknowledge when things are going well in their lives. You know, this person: You give them a compliment about a beautiful meal, a flattering dress, or the way they lead the charge on a big project at work, and they dismiss it or downplay it. They say something like, “Oh, this old thing?” or “It was really a team effort. I didn’t do much.”
Related: Ep 83: Develop Self-Awareness and Turn Your Weaknesses Into Strengths
When you dismiss compliments, you're not only dismissing your own sense of confidence in that moment, but you're also dismissing the truth. So, instead of always rejecting the kind things people say about you, resist the urge to say anything other than thank you. To live a more authentic life, tell the truth—when things aren’t going well and when they are.
So often we identify with the roles we play, like wife, mom, sister, friend, leader, etc. And what's interesting is, if we're not careful, we’ll always operate from the surface level of our roles. We’ll fulfill tasks for the people in our lives while missing the deeper layer of what our mind and our heart truly desires and values.
We say things like: “I’d love to work out, but I don't have time to. I value playing with my kids outside, but by the time I get home from work, I don't have any energy left. I’d love to go on a vacation with my husband, but we haven't even been on a date in months.” How can you say you truly value those things when you don’t actually do them?
When you don't spend your life and your time on things that are important to you, you'll live your life stressed, anxious and exhausted because there's an inconsistency between what you value and what your life actually reflects. So, a key to being authentic is to close that gap—to identify what’s important to you, and then actually do those things.
It's amazing how we—women especially—will spend our entire day, from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to sleep, beating ourselves up about how we look, how we dress, how we keep our house, how we parent our kids, how we fail at work, etc. It’s an all day, every day narrative in our head that is mean and exhausting.
But you know what? You can't offer something you don't have, and you can't lead others where you are not. So, if you want to love people in your life, sister, you better love yourself first.
I love how Brené Brown says, “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”
Here’s a really practical tip to help you do that: Go to your Bible! God has some amazing things to say about you. He says He delights over you with singing. That He knit you together in your mother's womb. That He would move heaven and earth for you. That he chose you and that he loves you. You are precious in his sight. Replace the lies in your head and heart with those truths.
If you’ll practice these four things, you’ll be on your way to living a much more authentic life—one that is true to you and that you’re proud of.
I'm so excited about my guest today, Sarah Dubbeldam! Sarah is the founder and creative director of Darling Media and Darling magazine, a publication that celebrates real women. I love this magazine so much. They have a beautiful quote on the back of their magazine that I believe illustrates what it means to live authentically. It says:
“Darling is the art of being a woman. Darling magazine holds the modern mold of women up to the fire to evoke a discussion on femininity and reshape an authentic design. Darling is a catalyst for positive change; leading women to discover beauty apart from vanity, influence apart from manipulation, style apart from materialism, sweetness apart from passivity, and womanhood without degradation. Darling leads women to practice the arts of virtue, wit, modesty and wisdom, all while creating beauty and embodying love. Darling says women are not only interesting but original, not only good enough, but exceptional, not just here but here for a purpose.”
On this episode, Sarah and I talk about:
A few months ago, I had an experience that absolutely rocked me to my core.
My husband, Matt, and I were hanging out at our friend’s house for a cookout. The weather was amazing so we—the adults and the kids—were hanging out in the backyard.
My husband watched the boys while I ate, and when I finished, I told him I’d take over watching the boys so he could go inside and get some food.
Well, I went to throw my plate of food away, and the next thing I know, I see my husband running out of the back door to the front of the house. And as soon as I saw him dart past me, I knew what had happened: Conley, my son, had run off.
I took off after my husband and saw Conley standing at the end of the driveway with his toes on the street as cars were flying by. Thank God we got him. Nothing happened. But him getting out of the backyard and near the street was my fault. I was supposed to be watching him.
I cried the rest of the day and kept thinking, How could I be so stupid? What must my husband think of me? What must my friends think? Those thoughts went on and on as I beat myself up about the mistake I’d made.
Now, I want to be clear: The mistake I made that day—taking my eyes off Conley—was not okay.
But you know what else was not okay? How I lived in that shame for the rest of the day.
Related: Ep 76: Practice Self-Care and Give Yourself Grace
As I was praying throughout the day—praying and crying and praying and crying—I felt God say to me, “Christy, we’re a team. Conley is my son too, and I'm going to help you when you fall short. I'm going to be there. There's grace for you in your mistakes.”
I was so incredibly thankful for that reminder. And today, I just want to remind you: When you have those kind of voices in your head—when you make a mistake or you slip up and you're just beating yourself up—I want you to stop and ask yourself a question: Is this what God says about me?
Because I guarantee you, those voices are not from God because God did not create you to berate you.
God will coach. He will correct. He will convict. He will help you grow, improve and mature. But He will not tear you down. He is a God who builds up. He is a God who gives grace. He is a God who shows up. And He is a God who loves His children.
God doesn't just love Conley. God loves me—even in my flaws, my failures and my setbacks.
I love how the Bible reminds us that God is love. First and foremost, God is loving. So, if the thoughts you're feeling or the words you're hearing in your mind aren’t loving, then they're not from God. At the end of the day, the most important identity you take on is that of a loved, chosen daughter of the King. Rest in that today.
I hope this not only encourages you to appreciate someone that might be wired differently than you, but also gives you some practical tips to work better with them.