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Ep 90: How to Set New Year's Goals That Will Transform Your Year 0

Jan 7, 2020

How to Set New Year's Goals That Will Transform Your Year

1:29 The Difference Between New Year’s Resolutions and New Year’s Goals

8:48 The 3 Qualities You Need to Set Smart New Year’s Goals

17:13 New Year Goal Setting with Rachel Hollis

28:31 Challenge: How to Love the Enthusiasts in Your Life

Resources

2020 Business Boutique Goal Planner

Get going on your goals and make 2020 your best year yet! Order the new Business Boutique 2020 Goal Planner at BusinessBoutique.com/Planner and use the code BBPLANNER to receive Christy’s Setting Goals video that you can watch right now!

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Forget about New Year’s resolutions this year. They’re a waste of time.

Instead, set smart New Year’s goals you’ll actually accomplish.

Believe it or not, they’re not the same thing!

The Difference Between New Year’s Resolutions and New Year’s Goals

Resolutions might as well be considered a wish. It’s an idea of something you want to try that year. Sure, it’s fun and inspiring. But the truth is: We fall off the wagon by February. It’s the reason why you can’t find an empty treadmill at the gym in January. But by February, you can walk right into the gym and start running.

Goals are different from resolutions because goals are action oriented.

Zig Ziglar made goal setting popular with something he called the Wheel of Life. We talked about this in a recent podcast episode so if you haven't listened to that already, go back and hear me deep dive into the Wheel of Life in episode 88. To give you a quick recap, there are seven areas in your life you should prioritize and set goals in (especially New Year’s goals!):

Career (or business)
Finances
Spiritual growth
Physical health
Intellectual growth
Family
Social

Today, I want to help you start 2020 on the right foot by setting New Year’s goals in each of these areas.

Because your ability to set goals will completely affect not just how you start the year, but also how you end it.

The 3 Qualities You Need to Set Smart New Year’s Goals

Every goal you set should have these three qualities:

1. Specific

A New Year's resolution like, “I want to run more,” doesn’t work because it’s not specific. And when you’re not specific, you can’t track your progress or even know if you’ve accomplished it or not.

For example, if you told me you wanted to run more, I’d ask you, “Well, how? Do you want to do long-distance running? Sprints? Do you want to run on the treadmill or outside? Do you want to do trail runs on your own or join a running group?” There's a lot of different ways for you to run more, so get specific.

2. Measurable

Then, I’d tell you to make the goal measurable by asking, “How much more?” Maybe you can run one mile right now without stopping and you'd like to work your way up to running five miles. Or maybe you want to sign up for a race and run a 5K or a half marathon. What is the measurable distance you want to be able to run in order to know that you've actually achieved this goal?

3. Have a time limit

Finally, I’d tell you to give your goal a time limit by asking, “By when?” If your goal doesn’t have a time limit, you won’t be able to measure whether you actually reached it or not.

Related: How to Write Smart Goals

Incorporating those three qualities into your New Year’s goal of running more would turn it into something like: I want to do more long-distance running and complete a half marathon by March 30th.

Now, that’s a goal! You’ll know exactly what you're working on and working toward. And of course, because you have these different ways to measure your progress, you’ll know if you achieved it or not, which is great accountability.

Set Even Stronger New Year’s Goals

Let’s take this one step further. If you really want to accomplish your goals this year, then I want you to add three more qualities to make them even stronger. Make sure they’re:

1. Yours

Your goals need to be things you want, otherwise you won’t work hard for them.

2. Realistic

There’s a long list of things I could never do no matter how many goals I set. And honestly, the same is true for you. Your goals should push you outside your comfort zone, but they shouldn’t be a pipe dream.

3. In writing

There is power in writing things down. When you write down your goals on paper, you can see them, touch them, and feel them. They become tangible and take on a life of their own.

Y’all, I hope you’ll consider dropping resolutions this year in favor of strong New Year’s goals. Because goals that are specific, measurable, yours, realistic, in writing, and have a time limit are much more likely to be accomplished than a New Year’s wish.

New Year Goal Setting with Rachel Hollis

I'm so excited about my guest today, Rachel Hollis! Rachel is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, an unbelievable motivational speaker, the host of the Rise and Rise Together podcasts, and the founder and CCO of The Hollis Company. Oh, and she's also a wife, mom of four, and goal-setting master!

On this episode, Rachel and I talk about:

Why she wrote her book Girl, Stop Apologizing.
The unique way she writes goals to achieve big things.
How to stay disciplined and motivated in your humble beginnings.

Challenge: How to Love the Enthusiasts in Your Life

Years ago, a friend shared something brilliant with me.

She told me that most people fall into one of two categories: the wow person and the how person.

You know the wow person—you can't miss them! For them, everything is wow! “Wow, I have a great, new idea. Wow, we should totally do that. Wow, let’s take that vacation and leave tonight!” Can you take a wild guess who the wow person is in my marriage?

But we can't all be wow people—and that’s for the best. We all need our how people.

The how person usually counters the wow person with questions like, “How will this work? How long will this take? How much money will this cost? How would you feel? How will I feel? How will this end? How will we get it done?”

We need these people because they make sure things actually happen. While the wow people are busy dreaming and running off cliffs, the how people are asking very good, important questions about time, budget, resources and a path to success.

Related: Say What They're Thinking

This world is full of both wow people and how people. And as you can imagine, in most marriages, there’s a combination of both—opposites definitely attract.

The advice I received that day when I learned about these two types of people was about how the two can work better together. And I’ll tell you, it’s been transformational in my marriage.

Here’s how it goes:

If you’re the how person and you have a wow person in your life, you’re probably used to the wow person coming home every night with a new idea—because they always do. Am I right? They barge through the door and go on and on about their brilliant, new idea.

Typically, the how person will immediately go into their how questions. But today, I want to challenge you to do something different.

If you’re the how person, instead of going directly into your questions, don’t ask any how questions for 24 hours. I know. That’ll probably be really hard for you, but it doesn't matter. No how questions for 24 hours! Instead, join them in their wow by responding with enthusiasm like, “Wow, that’s amazing. Wow, that’s interesting. Wow, that's creative.”

If, after 24 hours, the wow person in your life is still talking about the same wow idea—which is highly unlikely because by then they’ve usually moved on to 17 different, new, more exciting ideas—only then can you start asking all of your how questions.

I know it sounds crazy, but just try it and see how it goes.

When I come home, my husband is very tempted to ask me all of his how questions when I have a new idea. But the reality is: I have a new idea every day. Very rarely do I come home and have an idea that I stick with days or weeks later.

But if it does stick, then, of course, we can get into the plan and all the practical stuff. But you know what? That’s why both types of people are important. We can’t have exciting, new ideas without the wow people, and we can’t bring those ideas to life without the how people. We need wow people and their big dreams as much as we need how people and their details.

I hope this not only encourages you to appreciate someone that might be wired differently than you, but also gives you some practical tips to work better with them.

Download this Episode

Ep 89: Reflect on God's Faithfulness with This Christmas Tradition 0

Dec 23, 2019

Reflect on God's Faithfulness with This Christmas Tradition

0:53 My Favorite Christmas Tradition

Resources

2020 Business Boutique Goal Planner

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Merry Christmas, y’all!

A million years ago, before I was married and had kids, and before life got so busy, my mother encouraged me to try a new Christmas tradition—one she’d been doing most of her life.

Even before she had me, every year my mom would sit down and write a letter when she was packing up her ornaments after Christmas. In the letter, she would write about all the major things that happened in her life that year. She’d write about the highs, the lows, and everything in between. When she was done, she’d fold up the letter, pack it up in her box of ornaments, and put it away in the attic, not to be seen again until the following year.

A year later, when it was time to bring out all her Christmas decorations from the attic, she would open that letter and read it. She loved this tradition because it amazed her to see how much could happen in just a single year.

Well, I loved this idea so much that I also started doing it in 2006. Now, I'll tell you, it wasn't very sophisticated. I would sit down with a couple pieces of printer paper and just write down all my thoughts—in true Christy fashion, I rambled on and on and was very honest.

For example, in my letter from 2006, there's a line that says, “Dear God, please let me go on at least one date next year.” Well, bless my heart. Apparently, that was a tough year in the love department . . .

But you know what's so amazing? Year after year, as I've written these letters and then faithfully put them away to open the following year, I’ve always been blown away at not only how much can happen in a single year, but also how faithful God continues to be.

I start every letter by talking about what happened that year, and I end every letter by writing out prayers, dreams and hopes for the next year. When I read the letter from the year before, I feel like I’m living in the fulfillment of God's promises that I had prayed for (and forgotten about).

I remember, in December of 2014, sitting on my couch, reading my Christmas letter from 2013. One of my prayers that year was that Matt and I could start a family. And y’all, I was holding that letter over a giant belly—my son Carter was due the very next month!

Of course, every year isn't like this. My letter from 2016 had prayers that Matt's grandfather, grandmother, and our 11-year-old dog Jackson would get better. But all three of those loved ones passed away that year. Tears streamed down my face as I read those heartfelt prayers. That was hard to read.

But you know what? Even in the despair, even in the grief, and even when it seemed like God didn't fulfill that promise or answer those prayers, I was still able to see God's faithfulness in how those events played out.

Writing this letter has looked differently since marrying Matt because—I’ll be honest—he writes them reluctantly.

But we’ve gotten into a rhythm. Here's how we do it: Every single Christmas, I'll sit down with our notebook (we upgraded from printer paper!) and write my Christmas letter for the year. And then I’ll give the notebook to Matt so that he can write his letter. And the following year, I read my letter aloud to Matt, and Matt reads his letter aloud to me.

I’d like to point out that my letters are typically around 10 pages while Matt’s are usually around 10 words.

Allow me to read you a little excerpt from Matt’s letter in 2017: “As I sit down to write this, Christy is reciting all of the rules regarding the Christmas letter. They are numerous and overbearing.”

That man is a mess . . .

Another year, he wrote giant block letters on one page that said, “Christy says the letters need to be more than one page. So here is my second page.”

At least you know my husband has a sense of humor.

But you know what else is fun about this tradition? You get to see how much can change in one year—not just in your life, but in your mind. Let me give you an example.

In 2017, I wrote in all caps with three exclamation points: DONE WITH KIDS!!! You can tell that was a hard year for me as we transitioned from one to two children who were 18 months apart (while also launching a book!). I really thought in those first few months of having two kids that I was done. Like, all caps, three exclamation points DONE.

But this year, I'm surrounded by three kids and couldn’t feel more blessed. I can’t imagine our lives without our third baby, Mary Grace!

I love how, through this tradition, God has showed me things I want that I didn't even know I wanted. Having a third child was something I never could’ve seen coming when I was so tired from two kids and so sure I was done. But isn't it wonderful that God knows what we need and even what we want more than we do? Being able to look back on this journey is so special.

[share]Isn't it wonderful that God knows what we need and even what we want more than we do?[/share]

Y’all, I'm not great at journaling. I'm not great at sitting down on a regular basis, writing down my thoughts and feelings and all that stuff.

But once a year, I commit to doing this. I grab our notebook, sit down with my family, and spend 20 minutes recapping the past year and praying for the next one.

So this year, before you store up all your Christmas decorations and put them away in the attic, I want to encourage you to sit down with your family, pass out some paper and pens—make it fun and grab some hot chocolate—and pour out your heart to God. Write down your feelings, your experiences, your highs, and your lows from this past year.

And then write down your prayers for next year. What do you hope next year holds for you? What do you hope will be different? How do you hope God will show up in your life? Write it down, pack it up, and put it away with your ornaments.

Next year, when you sit down and open those letters, I think you’ll be amazed to see all that God has done. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Merry Christmas, y’all!

Download this Episode

Ep 88: How to Be a Successful Woman and Live a Balanced Life 0

Dec 10, 2019

How to Be a Successful Woman and Live a Balanced Life

1:26 How You Can be Successful in Many Areas of Your Life

4:39 Seven Areas of Your Life to Find Balance

11:30 Making Time for Both Your Family and Career with Sarah Sloyan

31:04 Leading with Grace and Strength with Jen Sievertsen

43:51 Focusing on Goals to Be Successful with Suzanne Simms

54:53 Challenge: The Best Way to Have What You Want

Resources

2020 Business Boutique Goal Planner

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

You can be successful in many areas of your life.

Work, Sleep, Family, Fitness, or Friends: Pick 3. I recently stumbled upon an article online with that title. And I have to tell you guys, I disagree with it. The idea that you can’t work, get enough sleep, and have time for family, friends and fitness is crazy.

I’m tired of hearing the message that if you’re winning at work, you're failing at home. Or if you're winning at home, you're failing at work.

What's interesting is, not only is this message common in media, but it’s also reinforced by the narratives in our heads. So many of us have this broken record on repeat in our heads telling us we're always failing. It's not if we're failing. It's which thing are we failing at today.

But you know what? It's simply not true.

Now, I know you can't do everything in the world (of course you can’t). But you can do the most important things. You can't take advantage of every single opportunity, but you can do the right things, and you can do more than three things. The truth is: You can be successful in many areas of your life.

7 Areas of Your Life to Find Balance

I love Zig Ziglar’s Wheel of Life. It paints a great picture of the most important areas of a person's life. If you’re not sure where you should be prioritizing your time, these seven areas are a great place to start.

The Wheel of Life isn’t a prescription for every single person, but it does hold true for most of us. Just like a bicycle, when one wheel isn’t working, the entire bicycle will have trouble moving forward. That’s why it’s important to find as much harmony and balance as possible in each area.

Let’s go through each of the different spokes of the Wheel of Life and what they each represent. This list is not in order of priority. You should prioritize these different areas based on your season of life, and then set appropriate goals in each.

1. Career (and Business)

You spend a lot of hours of your life at work or in your business. So this should be an area of your life that brings you joy and fills you up.

2. Finances

Your money affects everything. It impacts almost everything you want to do in life. That’s why you need to be intentional about how you manage your finances and set goals in this area of your life.

3. Spiritual growth

Growing in your faith is not going to happen accidentally. Your relationship with God is like any relationship. It will grow in proportion to the amount of time you invest in it.

4. Physical health

I’m not talking about being skinny here. I'm talking about how you feel. How's your energy? Are you sleeping enough? How are you taking care of yourself? We only get one body, so taking care of it should be a priority.

5. Intellectual growth

Are you investing in your personal development? What books are you reading? What conferences are you attending? What podcasts are you listening to? What are you putting into your mind that will change the actions you take and the decisions you make?

6. Family

It's really easy to take family for granted because they're just always there, right? But you know what? Your relationship with your family will grow in proportion to the amount of time you invest in it. So find time to pour into your family members.

7. Social

This area includes your friendships, hobbies, creative outlets, etc. It's really easy to neglect this one when you get busy. Friendships tend to fall by the wayside. But without friendships and hobbies, your life will feel unbalanced.

I know it can feel overwhelming to think that these seven areas of your life need to be perfectly balanced.

But remember, life balance isn't doing everything for an equal amount of time. It's about doing the right things at the right time. It's about finding confidence in the choices that are right for you, knowing what those are, and then making them a priority.

You know, successful women don't do everything, but they do know that they can be successful at many things. And if you focus on your priorities, then you can too.

Being Successful in Many Areas of Life with Sarah Sloyan, Jen Sievertsen, and Suzanne Simms

Y’all, today is a special day because I’m sitting down with three incredible women! Sarah Sloyan, Jen Sievertsen and Suzanne Simms are all senior leaders at our company, Ramsey Solutions.

You may recognize these women from past Business Boutique conferences, where they sat on panels discussing topics like balancing family life with demanding careers. I had so much fun sitting down with each of them again—this time, individually. These interviews are jam-packed with incredible insight and wisdom into becoming a successful, well-rounded woman.

Sarah Sloyan is the senior vice president of EntreLeadership. But with three young kids at home, I wanted to talk to her about how she makes time for more than just family and career. We talked about:

Giving yourself grace when expectations aren’t met
Prioritizing the most important things according to your season of life
Letting go of unrealistic standards and cultural norms

Jen Sievertsen is a Ramsey Solutions board member and the chief marketing officer. I so admire the way Jen leads with such grace and strength. That’s why I wanted to talk to her about:

Being a strong female leader without being a bulldozer
Going after something even when you don’t feel ready
Leading people who are older and more experienced than you

Suzanne Simms is a Ramsey Solutions board member and the senior executive vice president of the business to consumer division. Suzanne is gifted in saying no and standing her ground. We talked about:

Taking your season into account when setting goals
The most important question to ask yourself after you’ve set a goal
How to know when it’s time to quit something

Challenge: The Best Way to Have What You Want

A few months ago, my husband and I decided we were going to finally move forward with a bathroom remodel.

Now, our bathroom isn’t terrible, but it's also not great. In our house, it's probably one of my least favorite rooms. There's no counter space, the bathtub is tiny, there’s old tile all over the place—it’s just a sad, pitiful room.

So, you can imagine my excitement when we finally decided to get it updated.

We found a contractor, signed the contract, put a deposit down, and locked in the demo date on the calendar.

What’s so interesting is that from that moment forward, I became more frustrated with my bathroom than ever before. I could now envision the brand-new, luxurious bathroom we dreamed up with the contractor. So, every day, when my makeup brushes would fall into the sink or my legs would be cramped up in the tub, I would get even more annoyed than I’d been before we decided on a remodel.

Well, there was a small turn of events: The handyman had a scheduling conflict outside of his control and had to cancel our bathroom remodel.

Y'all, I was so disappointed that I didn't even want to go out and get a new quote. All my dreams and excitement for a beautiful, new bathroom went out the window.

Well, last night when I got home, our neighbors were out on the front yard and asked if we wanted to walk down to the duck pond with the kids. So, I grabbed my family and we joined them on the walk. And when we got back, the kids spent some time jumping on the trampoline.

And as I watched them jump, I thought, You know what? We live in the greatest house, in the greatest location, in the greatest city ever. I would not want to live anywhere else.

And immediately, my perspective shifted from being disappointed about our bathroom to being so grateful for a beautiful house with great neighbors.

And then it dawned on me: The best way to have what you want is to want what you have.

There are so many people who would give anything to have our old, 1983 bathroom. There are so many people who would love to live in our house and be friends with our awesome neighbors. There are so many people who would love to live in this location and enjoy the yard we have.

All of a sudden, I was so grateful.

It's amazing how choosing to want what you already have changes your perspective.

Friend, I know you want bigger and better things. I love helping you go after your dreams and chase your big goals. But I just want to encourage you today: Don't get so focused on the finish line and so focused on the next thing that you miss the now. Don’t miss the opportunity to be grateful for what you have today.

Remember, the things we have today are things we prayed for years ago.

Download this Episode

Ep 87: How to Enjoy Thanksgiving Even More 0

Nov 26, 2019

How to Enjoy Thanksgiving Even More

1:02 How to Enjoy Thanksgiving Even More

1:24 Write a Thoughtful Note

2:58 Be Hospitable

3:40 Disconnect Completely

6:12 Plan to Be Generous

7:55 Rest

Resources

2020 Business Boutique Goal Planner

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!

I’m keeping this week’s podcast episode short and sweet because I want to get back to spending quality time with my family—and, of course, I want you to do the same.

I really love this holiday. Not only does it feel like the official kickoff to the holiday season, but it’s also such a sweet time to remember all that God has blessed us with. Whether you have plans to spend this week in a crowded house with tons of extended family members or you plan to keep things low-key, I want to encourage you to be fully present.

This holiday will be what you make it, and you can make it great.

Before I let you go today, I want to share five simple things you can do this week to make your holiday a lot more special:

1. Write a thoughtful note.

I think nice things about people all the time, but I always forget to tell them! Do you do that? I once heard someone say that thinking something nice about someone and not telling the person is like wrapping a gift and not giving it to them. That is so true!

I actually save every handwritten note I’m given. No matter what anyone says, handwritten notes are not outdated—they’re gifts people treasure.

So, this week, spend a little bit of time writing notes to people who come to mind. You can give them a word of encouragement, say thank you for something, or give them a compliment that will make their day. Receiving a handwritten note is rare in our digital age, so brighten someone else’s day with a sweet and unexpected note.

2. Be hospitable.

‘Tis the season to show love to the people God has placed in your life by inviting them into your home. But the truth is, the holidays are a difficult time for many people.

Maybe there’s someone in your life who doesn't have a place to go during the holidays. Maybe there’s a neighbor or a coworker who doesn’t have family in town.

This is the perfect opportunity to build new relationships by sharing your home, a meal, or even a simple cup of coffee with someone new.

3. Disconnect completely.

I’m not just encouraging you to silence your phone or put it in airplane mode. This Thanksgiving, I want you to put it out of reach and out of sight completely—at the very least, for one full day.

I often pick up my phone out of habit if I can see it. So if I'm sitting at the dinner table and I can see my phone close by, I’ll pick it up and check it—even if there’s been no ring or notification. But that doesn't happen when I can't see it.

That’s why I want you to put your phone in a different room, where it will be out of sight and out of mind. When you do this, you’re giving the people around you an incredible gift: your undivided attention.

And if you want to take photos, why not do something crazy, like buy a disposable camera that you can pass around? How fun would it be to see what kind of photos you get out of it?

4. Plan to be generous.

This is the time of year when we're all acutely aware of how much we have to be grateful for, and it puts us in a generous spirit. But you know what? You’ve got to plan for that in your budget and even put it on your calendar.

Believe it or not, a lot of nonprofit organizations have cut-off dates for their Christmas giving—some cutoffs are as early as the first week of December.

But you've got time right now! It's Thanksgiving—you’re ahead of the game.

You can even make a plan for random acts of kindness! Set aside a budget for things like paying for the order behind you in the drive thru, leaving a big tip at a restaurant, paying for someone else's groceries, or putting gas in someone's tank. It really does feel better to give than to receive.

5. Rest.

I’m preaching to myself right now, but if we're not careful, we will cram so much into our holiday schedule that we become more stressed, anxious, and frazzled than we are other times of the year. We've got potlucks, parties and guests from out of town to take care of—it can quickly become overwhelming.

Instead, I want you to intentionally hold yourself accountable to finding rest. Stop, slow down, sit on the couch, and don't feel like you always have to be doing something.

How about picking up food instead of cooking for that potluck? Gasp! Did I just suggest store-bought food for a Thanksgiving potluck? If it means you get to slow down, rest and enjoy the people around you more, then yes! Find ways to work smarter, not harder this holiday.

You know, God has a lot to say about rest. In fact, rest is positioned in the Bible as both a command and a blessing.

God knows what’s good for you. So slow down this Thanksgiving enough to rest in His presence and really appreciate all that He’s done, is doing, and will do for you.

All right y’all, if you want to make your Thanksgiving a little bit sweeter this year, write a thoughtful note to someone, open your doors and practice hospitality, disconnect completely, plan for generosity, and slow down enough to find rest in God's presence.

This is a really special time of the year, and you get to choose how you use it and what you do with it. I pray that the good habits you practice this week will go with you throughout the entire Christmas season as well.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Ep 86: Be More Confident By Believing in Yourself 0

Nov 12, 2019

Be More Confident By Believing in Yourself

1:22 Choosing to Believe in Myself

5:59 How to Believe in Yourself

17:51 Faith and Belief with Mignon Francois

51:57 Challenge: The Right Time to Play Small

Resources

2020 Business Boutique Goal Planner

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

At our company, we get to go to church every single Wednesday.

That’s right, every Wednesday morning at Ramsey Solutions, our entire team of more than 850 people gets together to hear from amazing speakers, authors and pastors, like Max Lucado, Christine Caine, Donald Miller, Dr. Henry Cloud and Bob Goff—the best of the best.

For years, our leadership team has asked Ramsey Personalities, like me, Ken Coleman, Rachel Cruze, Chris Hogan and Anthony ONeal, to prepare one of these devotionals for our company. And to be totally honest, we don’t love the idea . . . like, at all. I’ll give you four reasons why:

It's a lot harder to speak to close friends than it is to speak to complete strangers.
When you see the kind of speakers we normally have, it’s easy to feel unqualified.
We're supposed to teach Scripture, which is intimidating.
Committing means writing a talk, practicing and preparing, which is a lot of extra work.

All of this together was enough to make me never want to do it.

But you know what they say: Never say never.

Choosing to Believe in Myself

A couple of years ago, I felt like God was taking me through a season of growth where He was teaching me many different things and stripping me of my pride.

One morning over Christmas break, I was sitting on my couch reading my Bible and journaling when, out of nowhere, I did the weirdest thing. I picked up my phone and texted my leader, “Hey, God's been taking me through a season of growth. So, if you ever want me to do a devotional, just let me know.”

I dropped the phone and couldn’t believe that I’d just sent that text. I thought to myself, Why did I do that? I don't want to do a devotional! I don't have any confidence in doing a devotional. My leader texted back almost immediately saying, “Love it. Let’s do January 2.”—which was one week away!

I spent the following week pouring over Scripture, praying, preparing and practicing. It was one of the most exciting and life-giving experiences I've ever been through.

And you know what? I wasn’t even nervous. In fact, I felt this deep sense of responsibility to deliver this message that God had so clearly given me.

I share this story with you to show you that I still experience imposter syndrome. There are still situations that put me outside of my comfort zone and make me feel unqualified. But if we let these feelings drive our decisions, we’ll never step into what God has called us to do.

That's why I want to spend some time today talking about believing in yourself and having confidence even when you're scared. Let’s get right to it.

How to Believe in Yourself

There are four things you need to “get” in order to believe in yourself and grow in confidence.

1. Get secure.

If we're honest, 99% of our fears, doubts, insecurities and anxieties come from worrying about what other people think about us.

But what if you didn't care? If you’re secure in who you are and whose you are, then when someone says something hateful on Facebook, or your crazy aunt makes a passive-aggressive comment about a decision you made, it doesn't fluster you. It doesn't rattle you. It doesn't shake you up because you have a confidence that comes from within.

Look to Scripture to learn what God has to say about you—not Instagram.

2. Get positive.

Positivity is not a personality trait—it's a skill you can learn. It's also something that will have incredible, tangible benefits in your life. So, in any situation, when the path isn’t marked, when the rules aren’t posted, or when you find yourself in a gray area, I want you to assume that you can do it, assume it will work out, assume people do like you, and assume you will succeed.

3. Get Help.

It's really easy to stop believing in yourself when you don't feel like you have any of the answers. But y’all, that's okay! We can't do everything, and we certainly don't know how to do everything. The good news is, there are endless amounts of resources available at your disposal.

There's someone out there who is a little further along who can give you advice, tips and tools. There's the internet, which has an overwhelming amount of information. There are books you can read and courses you can take. So if you want to get confidence, go out and get the help you need.

4. Get experience.

Nothing will create authentic confidence in any area of your life like actually doing the thing. For example, I’m confident in things like public speaking, coaching, and writing books because I've been doing those things for years! I have experience in those areas.

Now, if I were to try something completely new, I wouldn’t feel as confident. I’d need experience. But it’s important for us to embrace that we’re all beginners at something.

Education is theory, but experience is real life application. Nothing will prepare you for the real thing, like doing the real thing. So, go do the thing!

Friends, when you’re not feeling confident, or when you’re having trouble believing in yourself, I want you to get secure, get positive, get help, and get experience. And remember, confidence is not a special gene that only some people have and others don’t. It doesn't matter if you're an introvert or extrovert. It doesn't matter what a personality assessment says about you. Confidence is a skill that you can learn.

Faith and Belief with Mignon Francois

I'm so excited to introduce you to my good friend, and today’s guest, Mignon Francois! Mignon started selling cupcakes to make ends meet even though she had zero confidence in her ability to bake out of a box.

She did it scared, and today she runs The Cupcake Collection, a multimillion-dollar bakery with two locations!

On this episode, Mignon and I talk about:

How to believe in yourself even when you’re in a tough situation
Why you need to stop waiting for the right moment and just go for it
How to believe God for bigger and better things in your life
Why it’s so important to be grateful for where you are and what you have

Challenge: The Right Time to Play Small

“Don't shrink back.”

“Don't play small.”

“Don't diminish yourself to make others comfortable."

I’ve been seeing this message all over my Instagram and Facebook lately—so much so that I want to take a moment to talk about it.

I think, when we boil it down, this message is all about confidence, which we talk about all the time around here. However, there's another side to this message that I want to make sure we don't miss.

Just because God made you a certain way doesn’t give you permission to stay that way forever. And here's what I mean by that: We all have strengths that we should leverage and use. We also all have weaknesses, blind spots, and things we need to work on, which is what I think we miss sometimes in this “go get ’em” mentality.

We forget that we also need to grow.

I don't want you to just go big, I want you to grow as you're going.

I want you to identify your blind spots and fix them. I want you to identify your weaknesses and improve them.

Let me give you a personal example: I’m hotheaded. I'm a firecracker who is feisty, stubborn, loud, intense and sometimes aggressive. These can be great qualities when leveraged and channeled in the right way. However, they can also be weaknesses. I can bulldoze people, dominate conversations, intimidate people with different personality styles, and even hurt their feelings (but have no idea I did so).

But being that way doesn't mean that I get to barge into a room and say, “Christy Wright is here, take it or leave it. God made me this way, so deal with it.”

Absolutely not. You know what I need to do? I need to work on those weaknesses. In some instances, I do need to play smaller. I do need to be quiet and let others lead the conversation. I do need to learn how I'm perceived by others so that I can make appropriate adjustments.

Just because God made me strong and intense doesn't mean I get to use that as a permission slip to bulldoze other people.

Maybe you're the opposite. Maybe God made you soft-spoken, quiet, and gave you a sweet and gentle spirit. But you know what? God still wants you to grow. He wants you to speak up, stop being a doormat, and learn how to fight for yourself.

Regardless of your personality style, we all need to grow in our identity in Christ.

So, even though I want you to have big dreams, chase big things, speak up for yourself, and not play small, I also want you to work on your weaknesses. I want you to have people around you who are brave enough to tell you when you're out of line, when you’ve hurt someone's feelings, when you're being passive aggressive, when you’ve made a mistake, and to call you out on an area you need to grow in.

And I want you to have the maturity to receive those words and to make the necessary changes.

It's hard, it hurts, and it can be embarrassing. But I promise you, you’ll make more impact, have stronger relationships, and have more confidence in who you are when you know the right time to go big and the right time to play small.

Download this Episode

Ep 85: LIVE From the Business Boutique Conference 2019! 0

Oct 29, 2019

LIVE From the Business Boutique Conference 2019!

3:09 I have so many passions and dreams. How do I combine them enough to feel fulfilled, but narrow them down enough to create a focus that creates more success?

12:10 I know I need to set goals, but I don’t know how or where to start. How do I learn how to create goals for my business?

16:00 What do you do when you feel like you are spinning your wheels and not moving forward?

20:31 If I launch before my journey is complete, do I risk failing from the start? Or is this simply a case of imposter syndrome?

24:13 What is the best way to handle copycats in your business?

28:24 Where is the first place newbies should start to attract ideal customers?

30:52 How do you create an email marketing plan?

35:27 How do I get my husband to realize, with owning my own business, I have to bring work home?

41:16 I have come from a 7 to 4 job. Now I have a blessing of working my own hours and enjoying my family. I don’t want my hours of work to take away from my family. How do I balance my work and family?

Resources

2020 Business Boutique Goal Planner

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

This episode is just like having lunch with some of Christy’s best friends!

Get to know photographer, business strategist, and host of The Jasmine Star Show, Jasmine Star; coach, consultant, and host of the Marketing Your Business podcast, Stu McLeran; comedian, musician, speaker, and host of The Kelsey Show, Kelsey Humphreys; and founder and CEO of The Cupcake Collection, Mignon Francois. They’ll answer your questions, and more!

This podcast was recorded during our Business Boutique Conference 2019 VIP Lunch in Nashville, TN.

Download this Episode

Ep 84: Cultivating Good Habits in Every Season of Life 0

Oct 15, 2019

Develop Self-Awareness and Turn Your Weaknesses Into Strengths

1:21 The Difference Between Goals and Habits

6:24 Five Good Habits to Cultivate in Your Life

20:05 Building Good Habits with Anthony ONeal

42:31 Challenge: A New Habit for the Decision-Making Process

Resources

Business Boutique Conference

The Business Boutique Conference is coming back to Nashville Oct. 24–26. If you want to learn how to grow your business and chase your dream, you don’t want to miss this event. To save $10 on any Business Boutique Conference ticket, use the code BBWRIGHT.

Business Boutique Academy Waitlist

We are opening enrollment for the Business Boutique Academy on October 25! Text the code ACADEMYWAITLIST to 33444 to sign up for the Business Boutique Academy Waitlist and be notified the moment enrollment opens!

2020 Business Boutique Goal Planner

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

There was a season in my life when I’d get up every single morning at 4 a.m. to work out.

There was a season in my life when I’d get up every single morning at 4 a.m. to work out with my friend Rachel Cruze at our local YMCA.

Yes, you read that correctly—4 a.m.!

We got up day after day, week after week, and month after month at that crazy, early hour. Honestly, we didn’t have any lofty goals. We didn’t even necessarily want to lose weight. We simply wanted to be healthier—and, I’m telling you, it paid off. I was in the best shape of my life.

Do you know why I saw such improvement in that season? It wasn’t because I exerted high, intense effort over a short amount of time. It was the result of being consistent with a new habit over a long period of time. The result was looking better and feeling better—and y’all, I even had biceps!

You know, when I look back at the last 10 or 15 years of my adult life, it’s easy to pinpoint the reasons why some years were really good and others were not so good. I can almost always trace the good or bad of any particular season to the habits I was cultivating (or not cultivating) that year.

Believe it or not, getting up at 4 a.m. to work out with my friend wasn’t super difficult. Sure, getting started that first week was hard. But after that, it got easier and easier because it became a habit. It became something I did without thinking.

The Difference Between Goals and Habits

We talk about goals all the time—y’all know what a major role they play in my life. But goals are different from habits.

Goals tend to have a starting point and an ending point. They’re an intentional action where you take initiative to do something new, big and impressive.

Habits aren’t exactly like that. Habits are a recurring action you commit to doing day in and day out. They’re often not new, big or impressive. They’re small changes and tiny tweaks you make to your daily routine.

When you first start to cultivate a good habit, it feels insignificant and like you’re not making much of a difference. But over time, you begin to see the dramatic impact they can have on your life.

For example, cultivating a good habit might look like:

Choosing water over Coke every time you eat out at a restaurant
Reading Scripture first thing in the morning rather than scrolling through Instagram

Those are tiny, unimpressive habits. But over time, as you continue choosing water over Coke and Scripture over Instagram, you’ll notice a change in your life.

And it won’t happen because you set some big goal of losing 20 pounds or memorizing the entire New Testament. It’ll happen because you created a small, new habit. These tiny wins don’t have a defined finish line—they just become a part of you.

I love how James Clear says that building good habits is about small wins and tiny breakthroughs that compound over time. Y’all, that is so true. Small wins. Tiny breakthroughs. Big results.

5 Good Habits to Cultivate in Your Life

Because I know the power of good habits to transform your life, I want to talk about five areas in your life where you can intentionally cultivate new ones:

1. Taking care of you.

Taking care of yourself isn’t a pedicure once a year on your birthday. It’s not waiting until the holidays to buy yourself a gift. And it’s not holding off on a massage until someone gives you a gift card.

Taking care of yourself needs to be a regular practice.

This is one of those habits I don’t struggle with. I’ve learned that taking care of myself makes me a better mom, wife and business leader. It’s not out of selfishness—I actually take care of myself out of love for others. When you live your life busy, rushed and running ragged, you’re doing no one any favors.

2. Believing the best.

Choosing positivity and an optimistic attitude will be harder for some than others. But regardless of your personality type, we all can make the choice to believe the best in any situation.

When someone cuts you off in traffic, you can choose to believe that maybe they didn’t realize their turn was coming up. When someone forgets to text you back, you can choose to believe they just got busy. When someone says something that hurts your feelings, you can choose to believe they might be having a hard day.

When you give people the benefit of the doubt, it always works out better for both you and the other person. You always get to choose between assuming the worst or believing the best—I encourage you to choose the latter.

3. Working hard.

Coming from me, this one shouldn’t be a surprise. Whenever you have a task in front of you—whether it’s cleaning your kitchen, building your business, or anything in between—you better expect to work hard for it.

The truth is: There’s no such thing as an overnight success—not in your marriage, parenting, business, finances, etc. Anybody who got anywhere in any of those areas of life got there by working really hard.

That’s why I want to encourage you to work like it all depends on you and pray like it all depends on God—because it takes both.

So, let me ask you: What do you want? Whatever it is, cultivate the habit of working hard and you’ll accomplish more than you ever thought possible.

4. Investing in relationships.

It’s amazing how the quality of your relationships will impact the quality of your life. Have you noticed how they tend to go hand in hand? That’s why I want to encourage you to invest in creating real relationships.

Get together with your friends for coffee and meals. Take vacations with other couples. Show up for your friends in person and on purpose.

And there’s one relationship I want you to be insanely intentional about: your marriage.

If you’re married right now, I want you to know your marriage is not secondary to anything else in your life. It’s not secondary to your work, your business or your children. Your marriage will not be amazing by accident. It will only happen through the daily habit of investing in your spouse.

5. Protecting your time.

Your time is the most finite resource you have—if you don’t protect it, no one else will. If you don’t set up guardrails, everyone around you will tell you what should be important to you, what you should focus your energy on, and where your attention should be.

It is your right and your responsibility to protect your time. So, what makes it on your calendar? The only person who should be deciding that is you.

This list is a great starting point. But you can and should add to it!

What are some habits you want to cultivate in your life? Do you want to create new habits or kill bad ones? Whatever it is, I want you to know that your life is made up of the habits you create and the habits you live out every single day, so choose wisely.

Building Good Habits with Anthony ONeal

My guest today is going to inspire you to rethink how you make everyday decisions. Anthony ONeal is a national bestselling author, speaker, and Ramsey Personality. Anthony is passionate about helping millennials make better choices so they can build a successful future. I love how he says, “The caliber of your future will be determined by the choices you make today.” Amen to that!

On this episode, Anthony and I talk about:

Adjusting your mindset to cultivate better habits
Anticipating the reward rather than the sacrifice when trying something new
Focusing on a vision when starting a new habit
Noticing bad habits in your life you might’ve missed

Challenge: A New Habit for the Decision-Making Process

Y’all know I love to teach from life experience, things I’m learning, and things I’m just not that good at.

Well, here’s something you may not know about me: I’m a yes person. Have you ever thought about why I spend so much time teaching you to say no? Because I struggle with it!

Any day, any time, if you ask me to do anything, my default answer is usually yes.

But, you know what? Saying yes all the time usually doesn’t lead to good results—it leads to resentment. You’ll find yourself doing things you don’t want to do, in places you don’t want to be, with people you don’t want to be with.

This is so hard for me because typically, when I first say yes, it feels like such a good idea. At the time, I always think, I can do this.

Here’s a great example:

Months ago, I signed up my son Carter for spring soccer at the local YMCA. I loved playing soccer growing up, so I thought my son might love it too. On the application, I put myself down as an assistant coach thinking, Sure, I can help in some way.

Well, a week before the season was supposed to start, I got an email from the YMCA saying they weren’t sure what they were going to do because the team didn’t have a head coach.

Can you guess what happened next?

I decided it was Christy’s job to save the day, so I responded, “I’ll do it!”

In a matter of seconds, I was signed up to be the head coach of my four-year-old’s soccer team while being pregnant and in my busiest season of work.

That season turned out to feel so long—and it was so difficult. The worst part is, it turned out Carter didn’t even like soccer!

Now how did I get myself into that situation—a situation where I had to fulfill a commitment that wasn’t fun for me or my child?

I got there by saying yes without thinking.

I don’t know about you guys, but often, when making decisions about how I spend my time or whether I say yes to a commitment, I ask myself two questions:

Do they need me? (The answer is usually yes because they’re asking.)
Can I do it?

That’s it.

But you know what? When you make decisions on those two questions alone, whoever’s the neediest, loudest, and can produce the biggest guilt trip will end up deciding how you spend your time.

So, instead of only considering those two questions, I want to give you some different questions to ask yourself before you say yes:

Is this in line with my goals?
Is this a priority?
How will this affect my family?
Do I want to do it?
Does this compete with a higher priority?
Will I want to do this a few weeks or months from now?

Friend, I want to challenge you to cultivate the habit of asking better questions when making decisions. Maybe your answer will be yes or maybe it’ll be a no—wherever you land, at least you’ll know the answer was right for you.

Download this Episode

Ep 83: Develop Self-Awareness and Turn Your Weaknesses Into Strengths 0

Oct 1, 2019

Develop Self-Awareness and Turn Your Weaknesses Into Strengths

1:22 What Is Self-Awareness?

6:32 Three Ways to Become More Self-Aware

18:53 Becoming Self-Aware Through the Enneagram with Ian Cron

40:56 It’s Not the Thought That Counts

Resources

Business Boutique Conference

Business Boutique Academy Waitlist

2020 Business Boutique Goal Planner

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

I’ve always been a huge fan of personality assessments.

DISC, Myers-Briggs, StrengthsFinder—they all fascinate me. I love reading the results of these different assessments because they’re usually pretty positive. You get an entire report that focuses on your strengths—who wouldn’t have fun reading that?

Well, earlier this year, my friend Rachel Cruze convinced me to take a different kind of personality assessment: the Enneagram. I took the test, not expecting to learn anything new about myself. But y’all, I was so wrong.

This assessment was so different from any other I’d ever taken. Rather than telling me what I was good at, this assessment revealed all of my weaknesses (Some I didn’t even know I had!), and the deeper motivations and fears associated with those weaknesses.

Not only did I feel like there was finally a personality assessment that truly understood me, but I also felt like it helped me understand myself better. Learning about the Enneagram has been transformational for me. It’s made me so much more self-aware.

And you know what? Knowing your weaknesses and being self-aware is one of the best gifts you can give to both yourself and those around you.

What Is Self-Awareness?

Being self-aware is about knowing your strengths and your weaknesses.

For example, self-awareness is about knowing how you come across to others—not just your intentions, but how you actually come across.

I’ve noticed a pattern in my life where people describe me as being intense and aggressive. But here’s the thing: I don't intend to be aggressive, and I don't think I'm intense.

I describe myself as enthusiastic and passionate. I’d never use the words intense or aggressive. But you know what? After hearing enough people use those words to describe me, I started to pay attention. It turns out, intense and aggressive is how I come across to other people.

Do you know what paying attention to those patterns did for me? It gave me a better understanding of how I actually come across to people so I could learn to adjust my tone, behavior or volume level based on who I'm talking to.

It’s pretty easy to be self-aware when it comes to our strengths, isn’t it? And it’s important to know what your strengths are so you can leverage them in your life and your business. But I want to spend this episode talking about the other side of the coin: what we should do with the not-so-good stuff.

Three Ways to Become More Self-Aware

We all have blind spots. You know what a blind spot is, right? Think about when you're driving in the car and want to change lanes. You slowly start to get over and all of a sudden you’re swerving back into your lane while someone blares their horn at you because you almost hit them. But you had no idea the car was there—it was in your blind spot.

And that's exactly what our weaknesses can be like for us—we’re not even aware they exist. But if we’re going to succeed in life and business, we have to be as familiar with our weaknesses as we are with our strengths.

So, let’s talk about three things you should do with your weaknesses:

1. Recognize your weaknesses.

I spent so many years unaware that I can come across as aggressive or intense—it was definitely one of my blind spots.

If we want to mature, improve our relationships, and become more pleasant people, we have to recognize exactly what our weaknesses are so that we can work on them (more on that later).

So how can you recognize some of your own blind spots?

Pay attention to patterns and themes around what people say about you.
If you don't notice a pattern, ask people you love and trust.
Take a personality assessment like the Enneagram or DISC.

2. Acknowledge your weaknesses.

Once you recognize your weaknesses, I want you to call them out. Own them and be up-front about them.

That's not to say you have to broadcast your weaknesses to the world, but when you sense you’re acting out of a weakness or you’re coming across in a negative way, go ahead and call it out. If you’re with someone, acknowledge it so they don't have to.

Related: Say What They're Thinking

Here's what's so amazing about this: When you acknowledge that you’re aware of your weakness, it completely disarms the other person. They feel immediate relief because they no longer feel the pressure to call you out.

If you simply acknowledge where you're coming from and the weaknesses that are influencing your reaction, it's amazing how beneficial it will be to yourself and the other person.

3. Work on your weaknesses.

Being self-aware of your weaknesses doesn’t mean you’re off the hook to act however you want to act. You don’t get to use your weakness as a pass for your behavior.

If your weakness is time management, and you acknowledge that, you don’t get an automatic excuse to be late everywhere you go. If you struggle with a short temper, you don’t get to say, “This is just who I am,” every time you blow up on someone.

We all need to work on our weaknesses, mature, and become better human beings in the world. But we can't do that if we don't actively work on our weaknesses. For me, I’m learning to be quiet, submit and respect authority, apologize more quickly, and let others lead.

So, what weakness do you need to take personal responsibility for? What do you need to commit to working on this week? Friend, there’s no shame in this. You’ll improve every relationship and interaction in your life when you work on weaknesses.

Working on your weaknesses is a long and difficult journey. But if you will commit to recognizing them, acknowledging them, and working on them, I promise you’ll not only become a more self-aware person, but you’ll also become a more mature, well-rounded, and pleasant person to be around.

Becoming Self-Aware Through the Enneagram with Ian Cron

I'm so excited to introduce you to my guest today, Ian Cron! He’s the bestselling author of The Road Back to You (a book I personally love that has transformed my life) and a master teacher of the Enneagram.

On this episode, Ian and I talk about:

How the Enneagram is different from other personality assessments
The difference between self-knowledge and self-awareness
The importance of being aware of your weaknesses and the underlying motivations
How to navigate relationships with people who aren’t self-aware

**Challenge: It’s Not the Thought That Counts**

As a speaker and author, I'm always trying to find ways to say something unique. I want to say something new that hasn't been said before because—let’s be honest—the world is full of overused cliché phrases.

Let's just go through a few examples, shall we?

Finish these sentences in your head:

Where there's a will, there's a . . .

Don't put all your eggs in one . . .

It's the thought that . . .

Here's the thing about these cliché phrases: Most of them are overused because they're true—except that last one.

Who came up with “It's the thought that counts?” And who’s used the phrase so much it’s lived on for centuries? I'll tell you who: People who don't do anything. “Oh, it's the thought that counts,” said every person ever who hasn’t followed through on their intentions.

It's not the thought that counts.

My husband's birthday is coming up, and there’s not a chance in the world he’ll be bragging the day after his birthday about what I thought about doing for him. He’s not going to be like, “Oh, my wife, she was going to get us tickets to my favorite concert, but she never got around to it. She never made reservations for dinner or booked a babysitter. But hey, she thought about it!”

Speaking of cliché quotes: The road to hell is paved with good intentions!

No one cares what you think about. They care what you do.

Your thoughts don’t change your relationships. Your actions do.

Your thoughts don’t change your business. Your actions do.

Your thoughts don’t reach your goals. Your actions do.

So, here's the deal: It’s not the thought that counts. It's what you do that counts.

It doesn't matter what you know. It matters what you do with what you know.

Do you have an idea? Great. What are you going to do about it?

Do you have a dream? Great. What are you going to do about it?

Do you have a plan? Great. What are you going to do about it?

Y'all, when you actually start to take action on your ideas, implement what you're learning, and do something with what you know, feel and dream in your heart, you really will be chasing your dream. You really will be building a business. You really will be creating a legacy. You really will be making an impact and changing the world.

Stop thinking about it and go do it.

Download this Episode

Ep 82: Succeed at Anything By Understanding the Importance of Discipline 0

Sep 17, 2019

Succeed at Anything By Understanding the Importance of Discipline

1:21 What Is Discipline?

5:05 What Does Daily Discipline Look Like?

14:14 How to Become More Disciplined

20:42 Maximizing Social Media for Your Business With Jasmine Star

40:56 Challenge to Just Be You

Resources

Business Boutique Conference

Business Boutique Academy Waitlist

2020 Business Boutique Goal Planner

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

I have a lot of feelings—even my feelings have feelings.

The worst part is, my feelings can easily drive my actions.

But you know what I’ve learned? If you build your business, your life, your dreams, or your goals based on feelings, you’re going to be on one heck of a roller-coaster ride. One day you’ll be up (excited, motivated and charging forward) and another day you'll be down (tired, disappointed and on the brink of quitting).

That's why I think it’s so important to talk about a skill that will help you create stability (something feelings don’t have) as you reach for your goals and chase your dream.

What’s that skill? Discipline.

I know, discipline is not an exciting topic. In fact, the word itself can have a negative connotation. You might think of the word in terms of disciplining your children or being disciplined in school or at work. But that’s not the kind of discipline we’re talking about.

We’re talking about being a disciplined person. Why is discipline important? Because discipline will help you be successful no matter what dream you’re chasing—it’s that simple.

What Is Discipline?

Like so many qualities I teach about, discipline is not a gene only some people are born with.

Discipline is a choice and a skill you can learn. You can actually cultivate discipline in your own life, even if you don’t feel like it comes naturally to you.

The author Stephen King is a great example of this. He’s written countless bestselling books— many of which have become box office hits. He says there is one reason behind his success. You guessed it: discipline.

In fact, he doesn't even believe in writer's block. He says it's just an excuse writers use when they don't have any motivation to write. Talk about some tough love.

Stephen King writes 10 pages a day, even on birthdays and holidays. While you definitely won’t find me working on Thanksgiving or Christmas, I love the emphasis he places on the importance of discipline in making your dream a reality. I believe your success is not dependent upon your situation, your feelings, or how nice the weather is. It's dependent upon your level of discipline.

I love how my friend Christine Caine puts it: Vision will inspire you, but discipline will get you there.

What Does Daily Discipline Look Like?

When you break it down, discipline in your day-to-day life is pretty straightforward. It looks like:

Following through on what you said you were going to do, even when you don’t want to
Holding yourself accountable, even when no one is watching
Honoring your word, even when your heart’s not in it
Sticking to the plan, even when you’re not motivated
Keeping promises you made to yourself, even when you’re exhausted
Getting back up and dusting yourself off, even when you’ve failed
Choosing to be the person you want to be over the person you feel like being, even when you’re in a tough situation

That sounds nice, doesn’t it?

Y’all, it is possible to be this kind of person. That’s why I want to give you three practical ways you can become more disciplined in your daily life.

How to Become More Disciplined

1. Take the first step.

When someone isn’t motivated to do something they want to do, I always encourage them to find the lowest-hanging fruit or the quickest win. Starting with big goals can be overwhelming—and feeling overwhelmed before you start is enough to make you not even try.

That’s why I want you to set small, realistic goals. For example, instead of saying you’re going to clean the entire house today (which would overwhelm anyone!), just start by putting away the laundry.

What's amazing about taking one, small step is that once you start, you gain momentum. And that momentum propels you to take the second step. Once you put the laundry away, you’ll have enough momentum to tackle the dirty dishes. And after the dishes, you’ll naturally start cleaning the counters. Eventually, you’ll do more than you originally set out to do!

Sometimes the tiniest step in a new direction is all you need to gain incredible momentum.

2. Set yourself up to win.

This is really key for anyone who wants to be successful.

Oftentimes, we set a goal or talk about a dream, but then we put ourselves in situations where we’re bound to fail.

If you have a goal to eat fewer sweets, you probably shouldn’t keep mint Oreos in your pantry. If you need to work on your business more often, you should probably create an organized environment that gets you excited to work. If you want to exercise more often, maybe you oughta sleep in your workout clothes or set them out the night before.

When you set yourself up to win, you make it possible to be a disciplined person.

3. Find accountability.

Having accountability goes hand in hand with setting yourself up to win.

If you want to work out more, join a workout group. If you want to become a better writer, join a writers meet-up. If you want accountability to read more, join a book club.

So, what are your goals? What are your plans? In what area are you trying to become more disciplined? Surround yourself with people who have those same dreams and goals and who will support you, provide accountability, and cheer you on.

The bottom line is this: Discipline is a decision you make. It's not a feeling or a gene. And it's not something negative that will make you miserable. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. Discipline is a tool and a skill that will truly get you to where you want to be.

Cultivating Discipline With Dave Ramsey

My guest today is a living example of the importance of discipline. Dave Ramsey is a New York Times bestselling author, host of The Dave Ramsey Show, CEO of Ramsey Solutions, and an unbelievable mentor and leader to me and so many others.

Discipline is foundational to just about everything Dave teaches. Because, at the end of the day, discipline is what it takes to win at anything in life.

On this episode, Dave and I talk about:

How different personality styles relate to discipline
How to stay motivated when what you’re doing isn’t impressive or exciting
What discipline looks like tactically and practically
Why it’s important to believe in yourself when cultivating discipline

Challenge: Giving Credit as a Discipline

Let’s talk about a trend I keep seeing all over social media.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been scrolling through Instagram or Twitter and noticed a catchy graphic, great quote or some other form of memorable content.

Later in the day (or even a few days later), I'll be scrolling again and see that same piece of content reposted by someone else without giving credit to the person they copied it from. The post will have the same design, the same graphic, and even the same words.

Now, here's the thing: I know when you see something on social media that really catches your eye, it's tempting to want to share it with your followers. And I think you should! But I want to give you a challenge.

I want to challenge you to have the discipline to do a little digging to find out where that quote or content came from so you can give credit where credit is due. Or at least acknowledge that you don't know where the content originated, but that you didn’t create it.

I'm not really interested in how not giving credit will hurt the person who originally created the content. I'm more interested in what it does to you and other people's perception of you. Because let me tell you, when your followers see a post you’ve shared that you didn’t create, more likely than not, they’ll know. After all, they’ve probably already seen it five other times on their social media feed!

That’s why I want to challenge you to have the integrity and discipline to either create your own content or give credit when you share someone else’s.

You are in control of what you put out into the world, and the impression and perception you create online is massively important.

Remember, it’s the small things like this that will either build trust with your tribe or break it.

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Ep 81: Balancing Social Media in Business and in Life 0

Sep 3, 2019

Balancing Social Media in Business and in Life

1:20 Five Ways You Can Create a Healthy Balance with Social Media

18:51 Maximizing Social Media for Your Business With Jasmine Star

40:20 Challenge to Just Be You

Resources

Business Boutique Conference

Business Boutique Academy Waitlist

2020 Business Boutique Goal Planner

The NEW Business Boutique Goal Planner is almost here! join the waitlist today by texting BBPLANNER to 33444.

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Let's be honest: Social media is hard to balance.

Most of us have a love-hate relationship with it, right? We love to check Instagram and know what's going on. But then we hate ourselves for wanting to check it all the time. When we open Facebook multiple times a day, we feel guilty for not paying more attention to our kids or our work.

So, we swing between two extremes: being on social media all the time or feeling like we can't be on it at all.

That's why I think it’s so important to talk about how to balance social media. Because the truth is, social media in and of itself isn’t evil. It's all in how we use it. In fact, social media has a ton of great benefits:

It allows you to stay connected with family and friends who live far away.
It gives you a place to share exciting updates—from new babies to new homes.
It's like having a giant virtual album of multiple years of your life.
It allows you to connect with different groups of people who have similar passions.
When it comes to your business, it’s free marketing!

I want you to take advantage of these awesome benefits, but I still want to encourage you to build healthy boundaries around your screen time so it doesn’t consume your life.

Here are Five Ways You Can Create a Healthy Balance with Social Media:

**1. Know when not to use it.**

There are times to use social media, and there are times not to use social media. Some examples of times you shouldn’t use it are when you’re:

Having dinner with your family
On a date with your spouse
Having lunch with a friend
In the middle of any kind of conversation with another human being

When you check social media while someone is trying to spend quality time with you, you communicate that they're not as important as whatever is happening on your phone. To avoid the temptation to even look down at your phone when you’re spending time with someone, put it out of sight completely.

Before you take out your phone to check what everyone else is doing or to post what you’re doing, you can also ask yourself some important questions like:

Is it more important that I know what everyone else is doing right now, or is it more important that I experience what I’m doing?
Is it more important that the outside world knows what I'm doing right now, or is it more important that I experience it myself?

I’m willing to bet, almost every single time, these questions are no-brainers. So put your phone down. Keep it in your purse or your pocket and be where your feet are. Be present in the moment.

**2. Pick your balance.**

I can give you all the tips and tricks to balance social media, but at the end of the day, you have to decide the types of boundaries you need. You have to decide what time you're on and what time you're off, and what times you're responsive and what times you're unresponsive.

I don't want to be the person who’s available 24/7, blasting out every single thing I do. But I also don't want to be a person who's not present on social media at all. We’re all different—that’s why we all have to figure out the balance that’s right for us.

3. Check yourself.

This is simply accountability. It's easy to set goals and put up guard rails around what you want to do. You can have great intentions, but it’s so easy to fall back into bad habits.

That’s why I love the screen time feature that’s available on most phones. You can get a report at the end of every week that lets you know how much time you spent on your phone over the past few days. It’s an eye-opener.

Y'all, I dare you to check what your average screen time was this week. Does it fit within the boundaries you want to set? Check yourself and keep yourself accountable to the life you want to live.

4. Don’t mix business with personal.

Normally, I talk about this in terms of your bank accounts: Don't mix your business finances with your personal finances. But you don't want to mix your social media usage either. Of course, you should post some personal stuff on your business page and some business stuff on your personal page.

What I'm talking about here is getting on social media to post for your business and then two hours later, you're scrolling through cat memes and stalking your ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. This is where we get sucked into the black hole of social media.

If you go to social media to respond to direct messages or schedule a post for your business, do that and then get out before you waste a bunch of precious time.

5. Take breaks.

It's always good to take periodic breaks from social media. Whether it's one day, one week or even one month—figure out what that frequency looks like for you.

For me, I usually take breaks when I’m on vacation. If I go on vacation with my husband, I intentionally don't use my phone. I don't check social media or post updates. It's an amazing gift you give yourself (and others!) when you’re simply present. And it feels great when you’re free to disconnect and not stay up to date with the rest of the world.

Your experience with social media doesn’t have to be this love-hate relationship anymore. Instead, take the pressure off yourself and find a healthy balance that’s right for you.

Maximizing Social Media for Your Business With Jasmine Star

I'm so excited about my guest today, Jasmine Star! Jasmine is a business strategist and photographer, and she helps entrepreneurs grow their impact through social media. I’ve been a fan of hers for a long time, and I'm so excited that she’ll be speaking at our Business Boutique Conference in October!

On this episode, Jasmine and I talk about:

Starting small and turning a hobby into a business
Understanding the power of one follower
Positioning your business as someone else’s solution
Creating the right content for your target audience
Getting long-term results on social media

Challenge: Just Be You

One of the things I think is really important in business and in life is to be yourself. I want everyone to intentionally make decisions in their life that make them feel more like themselves.

I know this sounds crazy, but all day, every day, we tend to make decisions based on what other people think, what other people want, what other people say and what other people expect from us.

Related: How to Be More Confident

But here's the thing: What the world actually needs is for you to be you. The decisions you make in your life should make you feel like you’re being true to yourself—not what somebody else expects from you.

Many of you know I have a baby girl on the way. And part of growing our family meant I needed a bigger car. I've been doing some car shopping the last few months and even posted about the journey on my Instagram story. I asked all of you what your favorite SUV was because I was overwhelmed by all the options.

There are a million choices out there!

Well, the key word in my question was SUV. I was 100% certain I wanted an SUV because I'm an SUV kind of girl. However, in addition to all the responses I got from those of you telling me about your favorite SUV, I got equally as many responses from people trying to convince me I needed a minivan.

And that group made a great case. I mean, I was actually pretty impressed with the list of features you knew off the top of their heads. Minivans might be amazing, but here's the thing: They're not me.

I think they're right for some people. But to me, minivans at their core are practical. They're easy to get in and out of. They come with vacuums and DVD players. They've got sliding doors and remotes to make them open.

But I'm not a practical person. So selling me on your list of practical benefits will never work on me. I would never want to drive a vehicle that doesn't feel like me. The car I ended up getting is a mom SUV, because let's be honest, that's also me. That's the stage of life I’m in with three kids.

But it's not just about the car, y'all—it's anything in life. The same is true when it comes to what your business should be, what your dreams should be and what your goals should be—they should be you.

If you hate running, you shouldn't make running a 5K a goal. If you hate yoga, you shouldn't set out to go be a yoga master. If you hate business, risk, responsibility and unpredictability, you shouldn't build a business.

It all comes down to knowing who you are and what's right for you, and then making decisions that are in line with those values.

I don't know what your friends and family are telling you, but I want to give you a challenge and an encouragement: You have the right to be you.

At the end of the day, we all need to make decisions in line with who we are—and we need to encourage each other to do so as well. That’s why your challenge today is to figure out what those things are. What are the things that make you you? Have the confidence to live your life in line with whatever makes you more like yourself.

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Ep 80: Dream Bigger and Build the Life You Want 0

Aug 20, 2019

Dream Bigger and Build the Life You Want

1:24 Why We Stop Dreaming and Three Steps to Dreaming Bigger

21:17 Pursuing Your Wildest Dreams With Bob Goff

48:47 Encouragement to Remember that God is a Personal God

Resources

Business Boutique Conference

2020 Business Boutique Goal Planner

The NEW Business Boutique Goal Planner is almost here! join the waitlist today by texting BBPLANNER to 33444.

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Growing up, I had this aunt named Gloria who I thought was the coolest person around.

She was beautiful, independent, drove an amazing car, and had a Rottweiler who went everywhere with her. But the coolest thing about her was that she lived on a farm by herself. She had horses, chickens, pigs, goats and everything that went along with the ideal farm life I fantasized about.

To me, her life looked like the greatest life ever. I would often look at her and think, That’s who I want to be. That’s the kind of life I want to have.

Well, fast-forward a few years to my early 20s when I was working 80 hours a week at a nonprofit. I was looking to downsize from a three-bedroom apartment with roommates to a one-bedroom apartment where I could live on my own. During my search, I came across an ad in the newspaper for a 40-acre farm for rent just two miles from my job—not exactly downsizing, but gasp!

I immediately picked up the phone and called the number on the ad.

It was perfect for me.

Okay, so I couldn’t afford the rent they were asking for, I had no idea how to run a farm, and I was working insane hours at my day job. So, if we’re being completely honest, it didn’t make any sense at all—everything about it was impractical.

But, y’all! It was my dream to live on a farm, so you better believe I wasn’t going to let “practical” stop me from pursuing it.

The next day, I went to visit the farm in person. Once I left, I scrounged up enough money for the deposit and moved in a few days later. At 23, I was living my farm dream. Sure, I had to start a side business boarding horses in the empty stalls so I could afford the rent, but I couldn’t have been happier.

Looking back on that experience, I could’ve easily missed out on living out that dream. Because the dream wasn’t happening on the time line I thought it would happen on (like in my 50s when I’d have more money, a spouse and kids), it would’ve been easy to convince myself that it wasn’t the right time.

But you know what? More often than not, dreams aren’t practical, and they certainly don’t always come to life in practical ways. Thinking practically is just one of the many reasons our dreams get smaller and smaller as we get older.

Why We Stop Dreaming

It’s so easy to dream when you’re little, isn’t it? You believe you can do anything, be anyone, and accomplish all the big dreams in your heart. But at some point, life—and other people—gets to you. You get bogged down by people telling you to do more practical things that have a guaranteed path to success.

So your dreams slowly start to fade into the background.

And if you do dream, you play it safe. You keep your dreams small and doable so you can control and contain them. You also convince yourself that dreaming any bigger is selfish when so many people (your kids, your husband, your church, etc.) are counting on you.

Does that “logic” sound familiar?

So often, we women believe our heart’s desires are selfish. When the reality is, God is the one who placed that dream in you to begin with. He never called you to live a small life, and He certainly never called you to stop dreaming.

I know that dreaming is hard. You feel vulnerable (because what if it doesn’t work?), silly (because what will other people think?) and even a little scared (because what kind of changes will this dream bring?).

But I want you to do it anyway. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been since you’ve stopped dreaming—it’s never too late to start dreaming again.

I want you to dream so big that if God’s not in it, you’ll fail. Dream so big that you can’t see the path forward—so big that you need God to show up and perform a miracle to make it happen.

Friend, this is possible. Dreaming again will feel weird at first, but I believe it’s a practice—not a onetime thing. If you need to get back to dreaming big for your life, I’ve got three steps to help. When you practice these three steps, little by little you’ll see your dreams—and the real you—come back to life.

Three Steps to Dreaming Bigger

Step 1: Own it.

Dreaming again starts with owning what you want out of life.

Honestly ask yourself, What do I want for my:

life
future
children
marriage
business
finances
faith journey

What do you want?

Your answers to these questions are your hopes and dreams. And when you acknowledge your dreams, you give yourself permission to desire those things. Because, friend, you are allowed to want more!

So many of us spend our lives trying to convince ourselves and others that we’re fine with how things currently are—that we don’t want more for our lives. But I’m here to tell you that life is about more than Legos and laundry. It’s okay to desire something more! God wants you to live an abundant life, and He’s prepared to “give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4 NIV).

Your dreams matter. Acknowledge and own what you want, and then trust God to provide it.

Step 2: Say it out loud.

I know. This is scary!

But do you know why saying your dream out loud to someone is scary? Because it makes the dream real.

When you say your dream out loud, you take the dream out of the battlefield of your mind, where the voices of fear and doubt attack. Only then, do you bring your dream into the real world, where it can take on a life of its own.

On top of that, when you tell people you love and trust about a new dream, you have accountability to work toward it, and your loved ones will rally around you to help make it happen.

Related: Say It Out Loud This Year

You’ll hear things from them like:

“I have several friends in a running group. You could meet up with them to train for your first 5K!”

“A guy at my church does graphic design. I’m sure he’d help you with your logo and website!”

“Oh, my cousin works in real estate. He can help you get your house on the market!”

As silly as it sounds and as vulnerable as it feels, a dream takes on so much power when you say it out loud.

Step 3: Write it down.

Writing down your dreams is another level of accountability to yourself. The action turns your dreams into goals and your goals into a plan. You go from being a dreamer to being a doer.

No longer is your dream just a conversation you had with a friend that you might forget about. Instead, you’ve now painted a clear picture for yourself of what you need to do to make that dream a reality.

Your heart’s desires are not bad things or selfish things—they are God things. That’s why I want you to own your dreams, say them out loud, and write them down on paper.

And I also want you to get your hopes up, sister, because our God is the God of hope. He will make a way for you and all those big dreams in your heart.

Pursuing Your Wildest Dreams With Bob Goff

I’m so excited about my guest today!

Bob Goff is a New York Times bestselling author, speaker and the host of the Dream Big podcast. If you’ve read his book Love Does, then you know about his crazy determination to not only dream big, but also find ways to bring those dreams to life.

On today’s episode, Bob and I talk about:

Tapping into our inner child and dreaming like we used to
Living an engaged life
Getting over the obsession of caring what others think about you
Dreaming big for your life again

Encouragement: A Personal God

One of the things I’ve noticed in my walk as a believer is that so often we want formulas for our faith. We want a road map that we can reference for how God is going to help us through whatever situation we’re going through. But God doesn’t always do things that way.

God does not work in formulas. He’s not going to treat you and your situation the same way He would treat it for your friend, neighbor or coworker. Even if you’re both going through a similar situation, you likely won’t experience the same journey or results.

Why is that? Does God take someone a different route because He sees something they don’t—or because He likes them more than He likes you?

Years ago, I asked my mentor Eve why she thinks there are so many denominations within Christianity. My question was: How could we all love the same God but have different ideas around how to love Him?

Our conversation went a little something like this:

Eve: “Christy, look at Scripture. When Jesus healed the blind, how did He do it?

Me: “Well, a lot of different ways. One time he used water, another time He used mud, and another time He just spoke it.”

Eve: “Exactly. He had a lot of different methods to get to the same result.”

When we have a certain experience with God, we tend to get together with other people who have had that same experience, and collectively we think our way is the right way. So those who were healed by mud got together with others who were healed by mud, and they believed God always heals with mud. And those who were healed by spit got together with others who were healed by spit, and they believed God always heals with spit, and so on.

Don’t we also do that in life? We see our way of doing things and think it’s the only way or the right way. We think, If God did something in my life, then that must be the way He will always work. So our way becomes the rule for everyone else. We think, This must be the way you worship. This is the way you hear from God. This is how you practice obedience.

But you know what? God is not only bigger than the box we try to put Him in—He’s also much more personal than that.

God will take people down different paths that lead to the same destination: restoration. It’s easy for us to pass judgement on someone who is going in a different direction than the way we went. But what we don’t realize is, God is taking them that way on purpose.

Your relationship with Him is personal, so your path with Him will be personal.

So, if you’re seeing a friend, coworker or neighbor going down a different path or handling a situation differently than you would, don’t be discouraged. It doesn’t mean God has forgotten about you. It doesn’t mean He doesn’t have good plans for you. And it certainly doesn’t mean your friend is “doing it wrong.” It might just mean that God is using a personal approach with them, and He’ll do the same for you.

Download this Episode

Ep 79: Take Control of Your Life With the Power of Personal Responsibility 0

Aug 6, 2019

Take Control of Your Life With the Power of Personal Responsibility

1:25 Three Reasons You Might Not Be Accepting Personal Responsibility

19:39 The Importance of Personal Responsibility with Rachel Hollis

33:12 Encouragement to Choose Could Over Should

Resources

Business Boutique Conference

2020 Business Boutique Goal Planner

The NEW Business Boutique Goal Planner is almost here! join the waitlist today by texting BBPLANNER to 33444.

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Taking control of your life sounds like a nice idea, doesn’t it?

But let’s be real: So often we feel like we actually don’t have any control at all.

We feel like we’re tossed left and right by the seasons of life and the people in our life.

You know what, though? We actually have more control than we think we do.

Your situation right now might be really hard—maybe it’s harder than anything you or I have ever been through. But here’s the great news: That’s not your only story, and it’s certainly not the end of your story.

You Can Take Control of Your Life

If you’ve ever seen the hit ABC show Shark Tank, you know the story of how Daymond John built his clothing company, FUBU, from nothing.

Daymond was raised by a single mother. When he was 10, he started working to help his mom make ends meet. The hip-hop movement inspired him to start a clothing line, so he started sewing sweat shirts and hats in his mother’s living room. (By the way, when he first officially launched his clothing company, he was still working as a server at Red Lobster!)

Today, FUBU has brought in more than six billion dollars in global sales.¹

Let’s look at one more example: Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx. (Who else is grateful for this shapewear brand?)

Nobody handed Sara her fame and fortune on a silver platter. In fact, she failed the LSAT twice, worked as a chipmunk character at Disney World, and even spent seven years selling fax machines door to door before she ever started working on her idea for Spanx. When she pitched the idea for Spanx, she was met with rejection after rejection, until finally she convinced one manufacturing company to produce her product.

Today, Sara is one of America’s richest self-made women.²

Do you know what stories like those reveal to me? We often fall into the trap of believing our situation is impossible to climb out of. Meanwhile, others—like Daymond and Sara—are refusing to be defined by their circumstances. Instead, they’re taking control of their lives and changing the outcome.

The truth is, you have control in the good and the bad times. The way you view your life—and your belief about the amount of control you have—will have a major impact on how your life turns out, whether you reach your goals, and how your story unfolds.

Your ability to take control of your life is connected to the amount of personal responsibility you’re willing to take. It’s also connected to the amount of determination you choose to have in your life. The important thing to note here is that taking personal responsibility for your life is more dependent on you, your choices, your beliefs and your actions than anything else going on around you.

Whatever your situation, I know it’s real. I’m not discounting what you’re going through—I know your situation is a factor in your ability to be successful. But I also believe your circumstances should not define you. Because there is a person who can change circumstances, who can fix broken things, and who can choose something different—and that person is you.

That’s why today, I want to talk about three major reasons we often feel like we’re not in control of our lives.

Three Reasons You Might Not Be Accepting Personal Responsibility

There are three different obstacles I’ve faced in my life—and seen other women face in theirs—that could have easily led me to believe I didn’t have the ability to control my destiny. Let’s walk through each and talk about how we can overcome them moving forward.

1. A victim mentality

A victim mentality is all about your beliefs. You don’t believe you have any control of your situation, so you sit back, wait and pout. You have a pity party, and you invite everyone else to join.

When you have a victim mentality, it’s always someone else’s fault that you can’t have what you want, do what you want, or be who you want to be. It’s never your fault.

This victim mentality is really common and can come from many outside sources, like teachers, parents or the culture around you. But you’re not born with the idea that you’re not in control of your life—this belief is learned.

That’s why I want to encourage you to change your attitude. Because guess what? Your belief system is just that—it’s yours. You get to choose what you believe.

If you start looking for examples of optimism, perseverance, persistence and determination, I’m willing to bet you’ll find them—because they’re out there.

No one is going to change your attitude for you—you have to do it. You can choose to believe something better than what you were raised to believe. You can choose to believe something different than what you’re surrounded by every day. You can choose to change your attitude and take control of your life.

2. Exhaustion

As women, we’re experts when it comes to running ourselves ragged. We go nonstop, 24 hours a day. We do whatever it takes to be a great mom, wife, business owner, church member, and then some.

And because we’re doing all the things, we’re constantly tired.

That reminds me of a really challenging season I went through in the fall of 2017. I was still adjusting to being a mom of two while launching my new book and traveling a ton for speaking engagements.

I remember coming home one day and telling my husband, “I don’t know why I do this. I don’t have to do this.” And I’ll never forget what my husband said in response: “Yes, you do know why you do this. You know about the lives that are being changed and how God is using you. You’re just tired.”

There was such wisdom in his words—he was spot on. The reality is, I love my work! But in that moment, I didn’t feel in control because I was so tired. I was moving nonstop and feeling like a passive participant in my life. All along, there was one simple solution: rest.

So, if you’re just feeling discouraged, it doesn’t mean you’re not in control of your life. You might just be tired. You can fix that by going back to your why and getting some well-deserved rest.

3. Inactivity

This is one of the hardest obstacles to face because it’s often disguised by holiness.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a woman tell me she was not taking action on something because she was waiting on God. And you know how I always respond? I tell them, “God can steer a moving vehicle. He cannot steer a stalled car.”

If you’re praying and asking God to direct you, as you’re walking, He will direct you.

Instead of waiting for a lightning bolt from the sky or for an angel to appear in your living room, why don’t you get up and do something? Sometimes we sit around under this banner of holiness while waiting our life away for God to show up. All the while, God is there telling you to get moving! He’s attracted to activity. He will show you the next step after you take the first step.

This doesn’t mean you abandon God and move ahead of His plans. But God does give us free will and calls us all to take personal responsibility for our lives—we are stewards, after all.

If you look at the parable of the talents in the Bible (Matthew 25:14–30), you read that God honors active participants in this life, not passive ones. So get moving, sister!

What brave step—or even baby step—of faith can you take today? What knowledge do you already have that can inform your decisions today? Stop procrastinating! There is certainly wisdom in waiting sometimes, but don’t use waiting as an excuse to do nothing.

We are partners with God in this life on Earth, and you have more control than you think you do. I don’t know which one of these obstacles you struggle with the most—maybe it’s a combination of all three like it has been for me—but I hope this message encourages you.

It’s just like my friend Christine Cain says, “I’m living proof that you can start bad and finish good.”

The Importance of Personal Responsibility with Rachel Hollis

I’m so excited to have my good friend Rachel Hollis on the show today! She’s a #1 New York Times bestselling author, a motivational speaker, the host of the Rise and Rise Together podcasts, and the founder and CCO of The Hollis Company.

On this episode, Rachel and I talk about:

Being a good steward of your gifts and resources
Why we struggle with the victim mentality and how we can change that
How to talk yourself into things versus out of things
One of the biggest lies women believe and how we can get over it

Encouragement: Choose Could Over Should

“I should do that…”

All day long, I tell myself about all the things I should be doing. But you know what I realized recently? Almost all my should’s started as could’s.

My ideas begin as creative, fun, exciting dreams—like I could make handmade invitations for Carter’s birthday party, or I could get these party favors and decorations. But once the could’s make it onto my to-do list, they instantly become should’s.

Before I know it, it’s been weeks or months, and I’m still holding my feet to the fire of this long list of should’s. There I stand with a list of 75 things I now feel like I have to do. They’re no longer optional. They’re no longer creative options that could be fun. They become laws that I now have to follow. When in actuality, I came up with that list. That list started as an idea in my head, and no one is holding me to that list but me.

And yet we do this to ourselves all the time, don’t we? The high expectations start and end with us. When, in reality, other than paying taxes and feeding your family, there are very few things in life you have to do.

You don’t have to go all out for your child’s party! Did you know that? You don’t have to, but you tell yourself all day, every day, that you do. The words we use are exhausting—they’re words of bondage.

I just want to remind you: The person in control of your life, your to-do list, your tasks and your responsibilities is you. You get a choice in what you do and what you don’t do. You get to choose what is a could and what is a should.

Maybe it’s as simple as changing your words. Instead of telling yourself all day long that you should do something, what if you just changed it back to could?

A could gives you options. A should has burden tied to it.

Download this Episode

Bonus Ep: Tips From an Etsy Expert on How to Make More Money Online 0

Jul 30, 2019

Tips From an Etsy Expert on How to Make More Money Online

1:17 Tips From an Etsy Expert on How to Make More Money Online with Melissa Kaiserman

25:50 Encouragement on What to Consider When Receiving Feedback

Resources

Business Boutique Conference

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Making money online has never been easier.

You can start a successful business tomorrow with nothing more than an idea and a Facebook page—or, in Melissa Kaiserman’s case, an Etsy store.

Melissa’s story began like so many of yours. She was using Dave Ramsey’s envelope system and wanted a wallet that would help her divide her cash into different categories. When she couldn’t find one she loved, she decided to make one herself.

And then she made the “mistake” of showing it to her friends—because, of course, they all wanted her to make them one!

Her wallets were a hit. This gave her the idea to simplify her design so she could create more wallets in less time and also make a profit by selling them online. She opened a shop on Etsy—A Time for Everything—and hit publish on her first wallet listing.

Y’all, in just under a year, Melissa’s Etsy store was providing full financial support for her family!

Related: How to Make Money on Etsy

I love stories like Melissa’s because women often find it hard to believe that their talents, passions or hobbies can actually be profitable. Melissa’s story is one of many that proves it’s possible. In fact, her success on Etsy led to even more opportunities. Today, not only does she still have her online shop, but she’s also blogging and selling courses to help other people succeed on Etsy.

You can see why, when it comes to the topic of making money online and successfully selling on Etsy, I wanted to talk to Melissa Kaiserman! She and I took a deep dive into all the things. We started by talking through the pros and cons of choosing Etsy as your selling platform.

How to Make Money Online by Selling on Etsy

There are so many good things to say about starting and growing your business on Etsy. Thankfully, Melissa was able to narrow it down to her top three pros:

1. People know about it.

Etsy currently has 41 million active buyers.¹ That’s right—a whole lot of people immediately think Etsy when they need a unique, handmade item.

If you’re just getting started selling online, it’s going to be a while before you can get 41 million people to start scrolling through your personal website. I always tell you to hang out where your customers are. And in this case, your customers are hanging out on Etsy!

2. You’ll get organic Google searches.

SEO (search engine optimization) is just a fancy term for the likelihood that your product, page or Etsy store will pop up on Google when someone searches a particular word or phrase. And the good news is, Etsy does a great job of getting products found on Google.

There are also some strategies you can do on your own to increase the chances of your Etsy store showing up on Google search results. I’ll say more on that later.

3. It’s easy to use.

I like to think of Etsy like a “business in a box.” They make it so easy to set up a shop and maintain it. Not only does Etsy walk you through the whole process, but they also provide the tools to create a profile page and online presence. Plus, they handle the hosting, order intake, and even accept payment for you.

These are all things you’d have to figure out on your own if you decided to start selling from a personal website.

I know all of those pros make Etsy sound great, but I want to make sure you’re aware of some of the cons as well.

Things to Consider Before Choosing Etsy:

1. You have limited control.

Because Etsy handles everything for you, there are some limitations to consider. You’ll have to operate within their rules and guidelines, and you’ll be limited with how you can represent your shop online.

2. They charge fees and take a portion of your profits.

Don’t be mistaken—selling on Etsy is not free! Etsy charges you 20 cents to publish each listing in your store. If your product sells, you’ll owe them a 5% transaction fee. And if you use Etsy Payments, they’ll also collect 3% plus a 25-cent payment processing fee on top of everything else.

**3. There will be a lot of competition.**

To say there are a lot of sellers and products for sale on Etsy would be an understatement. I’m talking 2.2 million sellers and more than 60 million items for sale.²

There are a lot more buyers than there are sellers, so keep in mind that Etsy wants to be as helpful as possible to the buyer. This means that even if someone is shopping in your store, Etsy will show the customer related products from someone else’s store (potentially distracting them away from your products). So, you end up competing for your customers even after you’ve gotten them to click on your page.

The competition may be fierce, but I still wholeheartedly believe that Etsy is a great place to start (and grow!) your business. That’s why Melissa and I came up with five tips you can use to maximize your Etsy shop and attract more customers.

Top Five Tips for Selling on Etsy:

1. Don’t focus on the competition.

I know we just talked about how competitive the marketplace is on Etsy, but if you choose to use this platform, don’t let the competition be your focus.

Melissa made that mistake early on. She spent a lot of time obsessing over other shops on Etsy and looking for people who were copying her products. At the end of the day, even when she did find copycats, knowing wasn’t helpful. All it did was cause her anxiety in her first couple of years in business.

She finally realized she couldn’t control what other people did. All she could control was where her focus was.

2. Do your homework and be prepared.

Things like registering your business with your state and collecting sales tax is not exciting stuff, I know. But when you take care of that stuff on the front end, you’ll have the peace of mind to focus on the important stuff—like making and selling your products.

Don’t wait until tax season to figure this stuff out!

3. Prioritize your photos.

Etsy is a visual marketplace. When there are thousands of options for the same type of product you sell, people are going to click on whatever product looks the best.

You could have the best product in the world, but if the photo is awful, people are just going to scroll right past it. Oh, and by the way, the less people click on your shop, the lower you’ll appear on Etsy’s search results.

Here are a few quick tips to make sure you have top-notch photos:

When you’re taking the photos, make sure the background isn’t cluttered. Use a clean, white backdrop with lots of natural light.
Make it really clear what the product is. Don’t confuse buyers by cluttering a bunch of other items around your product. Yes, it’s a good idea to style your photos, but make sure your product is the focus of the shot.
Give your store a clean and consistent look by photographing all of your products with a similar theme.
Make sure you have at least one close-up of your product—that’s the photo you want to be your thumbnail. You can post up to 10 photos for each product, so use the more styled photos to complement the close-up.

4. Write great product descriptions.

Product descriptions are so important for the customer. If you can be really detailed in your descriptions, you’ll receive fewer messages with questions that could have been answered on the product page.

Here are a few quick tips for writing great product descriptions:

When choosing a title for each product, use the words potential customers would use. This increases the likelihood that your product will appear during a search. That’s SEO at work! Don’t use the cute, branded name you came up with, because no one is going to search for those words! More simply put, you don’t want to make it hard for the customer to find your stuff.
Again, this is exactly why you want to use keywords and keyword phrases that your potential customer would use in a search.
Your images can also work as product descriptions. Show your product at scale and describe details in some of your images by including text overtop of them. This is ideal for those customers who tend to skip product descriptions!
If you’re unsure about whether you provided enough details in your product description, just ask yourself: If there were no photos at all, would my customer understand what my product is?

5. Serve well.

Did you know that 81% of purchases on Etsy are actually repeat purchases? ³ I’m definitely one of those customers!

I remember working with a designer on Etsy to create a custom Christmas card a few years ago. She took such good care of me that the following year, I didn’t bother searching Etsy for another cute design. I just went straight to the same designer I’d worked with before.

The easiest way to get repeat customers is to take really good care of them. Under-promise and over-deliver every time. Not only will they come back to you, but they’ll also tell all their friends about you.

No matter what platform you end up choosing, the important thing is that you just start. I know you’ve got a lot to offer the world, and I’m willing to bet your idea can be profitable. So stop waiting until you’re ready, because “ready” is a myth. Just go for it!

Encouragement: What to Consider When Receiving Feedback

Earlier this year, I trained for the Nashville Rock ‘n’ Roll half marathon. It wasn’t going to be my first time running a race while pregnant. I actually ran that same race when I was five months pregnant with my second son, Conley. I trained, took my time, and was able to finish the race in two and a half hours.

I had a positive experience to base this year’s race on. But while I knew I’d run the race before and assumed I could probably do it again, many people didn’t feel the same way.

On my first day of training for this year’s race, I was gearing up to go out on a seven-mile run. Before I started, I posted a quick update on my Instagram. Y’all, that Instagram Story got so many responses. And I quickly noticed that each response was either an encouragement or a warning.

On the one hand, I got tons of messages that said things like, “Yes! You can do this! So inspiring!”

And on the other hand, I got responses that said the complete opposite. People warned me and told me it wasn’t worth the harm I’d do to my body or my baby. They shared their horror stories of going into preterm labor and encouraged me not to race.

These polar opposite responses made me realize one thing: When you get feedback from people (good, bad or in-between), it’s more about them than it is about you—because the feedback will come through the filter of their experience.

For example, the moms who ran while pregnant and had a healthy experience were telling me if they could do it, so could I, while the moms who had a scary experience warned me to avoid the mistake they’d made. Both types of feedback were a reflection of where these people were coming from.

This is so important to remember in your business as well. When you ask for feedback or when you get feedback from your customers, family, well-meaning friends, or strangers on Facebook, keep in mind that while feedback is valuable and helpful, it’s also being filtered through their unique experience.

You can and should learn from other people’s mistakes and take into account their tips and tricks. But you also have to keep in mind that just because someone else had that experience, it doesn’t mean you will.

So, I encourage you to keep asking for feedback and advice. Just keep in mind that the unique perspectives, experiences and circumstances of the people giving the feedback can impact whether it’s helpful or not.

On today’s #AskChristyWright segment, we talk about how to attract your ideal customer on social media and how to determine if it’s the right time to start paying for advertising.

Download this Episode

Ep 78: How to Be Successful at Anything by Starting Small 0

Jul 23, 2019

How to Be Successful at Anything by Starting Small

1:21 The Importance of Starting Small

6:06 How to Start Small

21:07 #AskChristyWright

Resources

Business Boutique Conference

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Give yourself permission to be a beginner.

We have a bad habit of calling successful people an overnight success—as if they just woke up one day on top of the mountain. But, in most cases, that’s just not true. In reality, most successful people started small doing something unimpressive. Here are just a few examples I can think of:

Television pioneer Oprah Winfrey started her career as a news anchor in Nashville, Tennessee—way before it was the cool and popular city it is today.¹ Y’all, she was even demoted once from an anchor job she had in Baltimore.² (I bet that person still regrets that to this day!)

And then there’s self-made millionaire Dave Ramsey. He grew his business from a card table in his living room to a multimillion-dollar company with more than 850 team members—and he’s helped millions get out of debt and change their family tree.

Did you know that world-famous author J.K. Rowling was living on welfare when she wrote the first Harry Potter book?³

And finally, let’s talk about Ellen Latham—a name many may not recognize. But I bet they recognize the name of the business she started: Orangetheory Fitness. The massively successful chain of fitness studios actually started in a spare room of Ellen’s house.⁴

Do you see what I’m talking about? The early stages of their careers did not look impressive by any means. But, eventually, because they were consistent and refused to let their humble beginnings define them, their careers surpassed even their wildest dreams.

The Importance of Starting Small

Let’s just go ahead and acknowledge that starting small is not fun. You’re probably not going to update your friends about it any chance you get, or post pictures about your journey on Facebook. But you know what? Starting small is actually one of the most important steps in building your business—or anything for that matter—wisely.

That’s why it’s so important to give yourself permission to be a beginner.

Aside from the fact that it works and is proven, starting small makes your dreams and your goals so much more attainable.

As you begin to think about your big dreams and goals, what usually happens? Fear creeps in, doesn’t it? You start to doubt that any of your dreams are even possible, because they’re just too big and overwhelming. But when you embrace the idea of starting small, your dream doesn’t feel so crazy after all.

How to Start Small

The commitment to start small requires persistence, dedication and a go-getter attitude—qualities I know you’ve got in you!

That’s why I want to give you a few do’s and don’ts that you can use as a guideline as you chase your dreams.

1. Don’t wait until you’re ready.

“Ready” is a myth. Because let’s be real—do we ever feel ready for anything in life?

Related: How to Be More Confident

There’ll always be a new doubt or excuse that will try to convince you it’s just not time yet. But the truth is, the only way you figure anything out for yourself is by doing it—by learning on the job.

Early on in my career, I learned something important: Say yes before you know how. When an opportunity comes your way and you don’t feel ready, qualified or educated enough, it doesn’t matter. Just get out there and get moving—ready or not.

2. Do take baby steps.

When you break down your big idea and big dream into baby steps, you begin to see the impossible become possible.

For example, if you want to train for a marathon, you don’t start by running 15 miles. You start by training for a 5K. If you want to open a boutique, you start with an Etsy store. If you need more sleep, you start by winding down and turning off the screens 10 minutes earlier than you normally would. If you miss seeing your friends, you send one text to one friend and set up one lunch date. Baby steps.

What you’ll find—in business and in life—is that small changes tend to make the biggest impact. It’s the small things you do repeatedly that make up life-change that actually lasts. That’s why I don’t want you to think of your dream in terms of giant leaps you need to take. Instead, think: What’s one baby step I can take this week?

3. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing.

In our overconnected culture, it’s so tempting to get on social media and compare your journey to someone else’s. But you shouldn’t compare your small steps to someone else’s giant leaps.

I love the quote by Theodore Roosevelt that says, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” I wholeheartedly believe you cannot be present for your dream and for your life if you’re looking and comparing it to everyone else around you. And you can’t make changes or improvements if you’re too busy obsessing over someone else’s progress.

Take the focus off everybody else and instead focus on your life, your business, your dreams and your values. Stay in your lane and run your race. And as you take small steps, be confident in knowing that those are faithful steps God will honor.

4. Do keep it simple.

When I graduated from college with no money and no job, I remember trying to convince myself that I needed to purchase a bunch of new suits for job interviews. It’s ridiculous, isn’t it?

But we do this in business too. We say we need a new laptop, a new studio or new equipment to get started. Let’s be honest—no, you don’t! Often, our desires and efforts to buy new things are not really because the business needs it. We’re just trying to justify and validate our dream.

The truth is: Working on your business is what validates the business, not the stuff you buy. In the words of Arthur Ashe, “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”

5. Don’t go into debt.

There is this myth in the business world that somehow business debt is different from personal debt. As if the debt belongs to the business and not to you.

But they’re the same thing. Because guess who has to pay that business debt at the end of the day? You do. Business debt is no different than personal debt. In both scenarios, you’re giving up power, ownership and control—three things you really should maintain. The worst part is, when you take on debt to do anything, every decision you make will become dependent upon the debt you owe.

It’s all debt, and it’s all a bad idea. Save up for the things you want and be scrappy in the meantime.

6. Do make a plan and set goals.

You don’t just need the dream. You need a plan for how you’ll get from where you are today to where you want to be. And once you have that plan, it’s critical to set goals that will get you there.

For example, if you want to become a teacher, your plan might be to get a teaching certificate within two years. That’s a great plan. Then, you might set goals like: take the PRAXIS exam before August, or enroll in courses that start this fall.

When you make a plan for where you want to be, and then set goals for how you’re going to get there, you’re much more likely to make that dream a reality. Because I promise, you will not get to where you want to be by accident.

Get Started Today!

There is no such thing as an overnight success. You’ve got to put in the hours and the work required to accomplish your big dreams. And it’s totally possible when you start small, use what you have, and grow slow. Remember, the impressive things in life often start as unimpressive things.

Someone who has done this really well is my friend Melissa Kaiserman. She’s the owner of A Time for Everything and Makery Space. Melissa is going to be my guest on the show next week, and she’ll share all of her secrets on starting small and working on Etsy. So, make sure you tune in to that bonus episode!

#AskChristyWright

On today’s #AskChristyWright segment, we talk about how to attract your ideal customer on social media and how to determine if it’s the right time to start paying for advertising.

Download this Episode

Ep 77: How to Attract More Customers to Your Business 0

Jul 9, 2019

How to Attract More Customers to Your Business

1:21 Four Ways to Find More Customers

17:29 Attracting New Customers to Your Business with Reina Pomeroy

33:23 Encouragement That That Will Transform Every Relationship

Resources

Business Boutique Conference

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

“Christy, how do I get more customers?”

The most common question I’m ever asked—more than questions about social media, goal setting or time management—is how to get more customers. I get this question almost every single day.

But before we go any further, I need to bust a myth you might be believing that is keeping you from getting more customers.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve heard people say: “If you build it, they will come.”

How many times have you heard that line? How many times have you believed that simply creating a website meant people would visit? Or opening a store meant people would stop in?

I hate to tell you this, but it’s just not true. No matter what you build, customers don’t show up out of the blue.

Why not? Because . . .

They’re busy.
They’re distracted.
They’re tired.
They have hundreds of other messages vying for their attention.

We have to stop building these big, awesome, impressive things and wondering why customers aren’t showing up. We have to do something different. Instead of sitting back and waiting for customers to come to you, it’s time for you to go after your customers.

You have to figure out where your ideal customers hang out and build relationships with them. And only then, when you’ve added value to their lives, can you invite them to become a customer.

So, how do you actually do that? I’ve got four different tips to get you started!

Four Ways to Find More Customers

1. Get scrappy.

Some of you are sitting around waiting for some sophisticated formula or fool-proof plan to attract more customers. I hate to break it to you, but business doesn’t work that way. Business is a science and an art, which means that while there are certainly best practices to keep in mind, there’s no perfect path to success.

Most business owners become successful not because they’re sophisticated, but because they’re really stinkin’ scrappy. They’re willing to get their hands dirty and try a bunch of different things to get the word out.

They’re willing to show up at other businesses with donuts, coffee, samples and a business card. They’re not afraid to pick up the phone and do some cold calling. The bottom line is, you have to be willing to do the hard work of building relationships—and that takes a whole lot of scrappiness.

2. Get referrals.

When you need your hair colored or your house cleaned, who do you want to hire? Someone you trust, right? And how do you find someone you trust? You ask your friends!

Y’all, this is so important! Referrals are just another way of describing word-of-mouth marketing—the most effective form of marketing. The best part is, it’s free!

So, if you’re not actively incentivizing your current clients to refer their friends and asking them for testimonials, you’re missing out on an amazing opportunity to find new customers.

3. Improve your marketing.

I want you to take a good look at your marketing efforts as a whole. Look at the different ways you’re marketing your business—from your website to your social media posts and the emails you send. Then I want you to ask yourself:

Is the design clean and beautiful?
Is the copy clear?
Is your call to action direct and obvious?

Try to pinpoint what’s working and what’s not. Get to the root of the problem before you look for a solution. For example, if you’re not getting any sales from your online store, is it because no one is visiting the website or because people are visiting but not buying? Knowing exactly why you’re not getting sales will help you know what you need to change and improve.

4. Try something new.

If you keep doing the same things you’ve always done, you’ll just keep getting the same results. So, if you want to grow your business by increasing your customer base, you have to be willing to experiment to find out what works best for your target market.

Try something new on social media, on your website, on your Esty store, or even in person as you pitch your product or service to someone. Try a new promotion and see what kind of buzz you get. Or maybe you need to show up at a different place and meet a different group of people. When you try new approaches, you are much more likely to find fresh, innovative ways to attract more of your ideal customers.

Finding more customers is not as hard as it sounds. In fact, there are so many different ways to do it. Let’s recap the four you should start with. Get scrappy: Don’t worry about a sophisticated formula—just show up and meet new people. Get referrals: Encourage your current tribe to market for you. Improve your marketing: See where you can make tweaks and adjustments to your marketing strategy. And finally: keep experimenting, trying new things, and doing more of what works. You got this!

Attracting New Customers to Your Business with Reina Pomeroy

Reina Pomeroy is an expert at sales and attracting more customers. She’s the founder of Reina + Co., host of the Fueled with Heart podcast and the creator of the Dreamy Client Magnet program. I love how she encourages business owners to be heart-centered, where their passion for the work and the customer always gets first priority.

On this episode, Reina and I talk about:

How to make more sales by serving your customers well
How to work on your money mind-set
Why you don’t need more followers to get more customers
How to network and build relationships the right way

The One Quality That Will Transform Every Relationship

I was on a panel a few years ago at a Ramsey Smart Conference alongside #1 bestselling author Les Parrott. Les is a brilliant clinical psychologist and relationship expert.

We were a part of a Q&A session, and someone in the audience asked Les for his best piece of marriage advice—no small question.

His answer completely changed my life. Turns out, his best piece of marriage advice was simply to have empathy. That’s it: empathy. Put yourself in your spouse’s shoes as often as possible.

This advice has been transformative for me. I have used this nugget of wisdom so many times since that night. It has helped my husband and I dissolve conflict, increase understanding, and improve our connection.

It seems so obvious, but I wonder why we don’t do this more often in life with all of our relationships. We tend to judge ourselves by our intentions (they’re always good, of course!), but we judge others by their actions.

Seeing the world from only our perspective leads to conflict, misunderstanding and broken relationships. If we’re going to have healthy relationships, we have to be willing to see the situation from the other person’s point of view.

And you can do that by empathizing. By putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and giving them the benefit of the doubt. Whether it’s your spouse, best friend, coworker or customer, empathizing will transform every relationship and every interaction you have.

Download this Episode

Ep 76: Practice Self-Care and Give Yourself Grace 0

Jun 25, 2019

Practice Self-Care and Give Yourself Grace

1:22 The Importance of Making Self-Care a Priority

18:00 Giving Yourself Grace with Ashley LeMieux

44:15 Challenge to Act the Way You Want to Feel

Resources

Get Christy's 10 Ways to Take Care of You by filling out the form here!

Business Boutique Conference

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

The Importance of Making Self-Care a Priority

The moment I became a momma, everything changed.

My first son, Carter, was born in January of 2015, and he instantly became my entire world. This tiny human consumed my every thought, concern and desire. It was beautiful and awesome, but it was also really hard.

Now, I’d gone through many hard seasons before this one. I’ve walked through seasons where I worked 80 hours a week, lost all my friends, and didn’t have much of a life outside of work.

But, for whatever reason, there’s nothing quite like that feeling of losing yourself when children come into the picture. Not only do they instantly become the center of your universe, but they also just need you a lot.

And that’s exactly what happened to me. I lost myself when I first became a mother. I no longer felt like Christy. I no longer felt like the young, independent, fun person I’d always known myself to be. I had so many interests—and I still do—but I wasn’t doing any of those things because taking care of Carter consumed my world.

I know many of you have probably experienced this as well. You begin to create habits and grooves where all you think about is your kids. That was definitely me, even more so when Conley came into the picture a very short time later.

I got into a habit of identifying myself as Carter and Conley’s mom. That was my first point of identification. Now, I love being their mother. It’s the greatest joy of my life. But it’s not the only part of me.

I quickly realized that, in keeping up with the day-to-day demands of my job, my children and my household, the first thing to go was me. The first things to go out the window were my interests and anything that brought me joy and rest (outside of my family).

This was the first time in my life that I experienced this kind of guilt. Anything I wanted to do for myself felt selfish in the grand scheme of being a mom, so I wasn’t taking care of myself.

Related: Getting Rid of the Guilt

Doesn’t this happen to so many of us? We forget about the things that make us feel like us: exercise, shopping, pedicures, time with girlfriends or time alone. Those things become luxuries we’ll indulge in only if there’s time leftover.

And you and I both know there is never time leftover.

There will always be something more demanding of your time, attention and energy until you put yourself at the top of your priority list.

Self-Care Is Your Responsibility

If you feel rushed, run down, busy, burned out, grumpy or resentful in your own life, it’s probably because you haven’t taken care of yourself. And there’s only one person who can fix that: you.

The most important truth you need to know about self-care is that it’s up to you. That’s why it’s called self-care. No one can do it for you. No one can make you take time off work, take a vacation, soak in a bubble bath, get a pedicure, or make you value yourself but you.

So, if you’re sitting around and waiting for someone to give you permission to take care of yourself, it’s not going to happen.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Loving your children more than life is not a bad thing. But, it’s still okay to want more for your life. It’s not wrong to have a busy season, but you have to stop putting everyone else first and then resenting them for it.

The truth is that what your people need from you more than a warm meal on the table or a ride to soccer is a woman in their life who has come alive—a woman who is full of joy and is confident and happy to be doing whatever it is she’s doing.

And, by the way, self-care is a way of life. It doesn’t mean taking a bubble bath once a quarter and hoping it’s going to wash your troubles away. I’m talking about valuing yourself and making yourself a regular, consistent priority in your own life.

It’s about filling your own tank.

It’s just like when you drive. If you run out of gas on the side of the road, it’s so much more frustrating and stressful to get the gas you need to fill up your car. But, if you keep your tank full, it’s pretty easy to stay moving and get a refill when you’re running low.

So, stop waiting until you’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown to throw up a flag, raise your hand, and ask for help. Stop waiting until there’s a crisis. Instead, keep your tank full.

Stop Apologizing for Taking Care of Yourself

So, how do you keep your tank full? Do the things you love to do regularly.

It might feel a little awkward or selfish the first time you do it. But I want you to know you don’t have to apologize for it—not the first time you do it or the hundredth time.

A few years ago, I was hanging out with some of my mom friends when one of them said she was taking a trip to Florida with a girlfriend. The exciting update was immediately followed by a long list of reasons she needed to go.

I wanted to stop her and tell her she didn’t have to explain herself. She didn’t need to have a list of reasons to take this trip. She didn’t have to validate it to us or to anyone else.

And I want to say the same thing to you today.

The sad part is that I don’t think my friend was trying to justify it to us. I think she was trying to justify it to herself to get through the guilt of doing something for herself.

The truth is that doing something for yourself should be a consistent priority, and you never have to be sorry for doing it.

I’m not saying you should neglect your family or any of your responsibilities. I’m saying that, in order to take care of them, you have to take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself is not selfish. It’s self-preservation, and it’s smart.

So, let me ask you: What brings you joy? What gives you energy and fills your tank? What makes you feel rested?

Make a list, save it on your phone, or put it by your bedside, and then start to integrate those activities into your life—not just on your birthday or on a holiday, but on a regular basis.

When you do this, not only will everyone around you benefit but you’ll enjoy your life so much more.

Giving Yourself Grace with Ashley LeMieux

I’m so excited for you to meet my good friend Ashley LeMieux. She’s the founder of The Shine Project and Shop Ashley LeMieux. And she’s also the author of the upcoming book Born to Shine: Practical Tools to Help You Shine, Even in Life’s Darkest Moments. Ashley exemplifies this truth so beautifully. Despite the hard roads she’s walked, she shines so brightly.

About seven years ago, Ashley was fresh out of college, newly married, and working as an intern at an inner-city high school in Arizona. At that school, she worked with soon-to-be first-generation college students who didn’t have many resources or mentors to help them reach their potential and pursue higher education.

Ashely was so passionate about these students, and she wanted to be the person to help them build a successful life. She already had a successful blog called The Shine Project, so she used that platform to advocate for these students and raise money to send them to college. In her first year of doing this, she was able to raise enough money to send 10 students to their freshman year of college. It was an amazing accomplishment, but she wanted to do more.

Ashely felt strongly about building a business where these students could work while in college. So, she taught herself how to make jewelry, then taught the students to make it, and they sold the products online. Today, not only are these students learning a valuable skill, but through the sales, The Shine Project is able to send even more students to college.

On this episode, Ashley and I talk about:

Pushing past fear to make your dreams come true
Knowing what your next step should be
Taking care of yourself when devastation strikes
Turning your pain into your power
Giving yourself grace in difficult seasons

Challenge: Act the Way You Want to Feel

On the last episode of the podcast, I told you the story of my recent trip to the beach with my husband. We were so excited to be taking a vacation—just the two of us.

We had booked this amazing hotel that (based on the website’s photos and descriptions) we thought would be right on the beach. Unfortunately, when we arrived, we realized it was all a lie. The hotel actually sat on a busy street. As you can imagine, I was so disappointed.

I shared that story with you to challenge you to under-promise and over-deliver for your customers. But, today, I want to share the second part of that story.

After being completely frustrated by the hotel, I quickly started researching other hotels to see if I could find a last-minute room that overlooked the beach. I found one just down the street that looked beautiful, but it was so expensive. Plus, we would have had to pay a fee to cancel our current reservation. After about 20 minutes of research, I decided it wasn’t worth all the money and hassle.

I realized in that moment that I had two choices:

I could continue being disappointed and get frustrated every time a motorcycle drove by.
I could change my attitude.

I literally told my husband, “We’re not changing hotels. Instead, I’m going to change my attitude right now. I won’t bring this up again. We’re going to have an awesome vacation. Thank you for letting me explore my options, but now that we know it’s not right to move, we’re going to stay at our current hotel, and I’m going to have a great attitude about it.”

In that instant, I flipped a switch in my mind, and I made a choice to have a great attitude.

Here’s what I want you to take away from that story: You’re going to find yourself in situations in which you’re unhappy or disappointed. It’s inevitable. If you can fix the problem, certainly explore your options. But, if you can’t fix it, my challenge to you is to change your attitude. Flip that switch in your mind, and let it go.

Not only will it benefit everyone around you, but you’ll have a much better time as well.

You are in control of your feelings. Your feelings are not in control of you. You don’t have to feel a certain way to act a certain way. You can act the way you want to feel, and your feelings will follow.

Download this Episode

Ep 75: Keep Things Fresh by Trying Something New 0

Jun 11, 2019

What would you do with a nine-hour layover in Chicago?

Would you:

Keep it safe and sit at the airport reading a book to ensure you didn’t miss your connecting flight?
Grab your best friend, do as much exploring as possible, and make it back to the airport just in time to board?

I don’t know what you’d pick. But can you take a wild guess which one I’d choose?

That’s right, I’d choose option two any day.

But do you know what I’ve noticed? There are actually people out there who would choose the first option every single time. Crazy, right? Even more shocking, one of them is a very good friend of mine.

When I was a junior in college, I got the opportunity to travel to Europe for my Western Civilization class. The week before we left, I remember receiving a very detailed itinerary from our trip leader, and the first thing I noticed was a nine-hour layover in Chicago.

Normally, I wouldn’t get pumped about a nine-hour layover anywhere. But, I was a 21-year-old southern girl who had never been up north. So, the potential to have a big chunk of time to sightsee, shop, and eat my way through a very cool northern city got me pumped.

I immediately called one of my good friends who was also going on the trip. Our conversation went a little something like this:

Me: Guess what? We have nine hours in Chicago! We can go sightseeing, tour the city, and try new restaurants!

Friend: No, we can’t.

Me: We can’t?

Friend: No. We can’t do that. We can’t leave the airport.

Me: How do you know? Did you read something I missed?

Friend: No. I’m just sure we can’t go.

Me: Did someone tell you that? Like a leader or a past participant?

Friend: No. I’m just sure we can’t go.

Me: That’s so interesting, because I am so sure we can.

I learned something about myself and other people that day. There tend to be two personality styles when it comes to trying new things. There are those who, when in doubt, assume they can’t. And there are those who, when the information or rules are not clear, assume they can.

But you know what? Regardless of how you’re wired, you will go further and faster in life when you assume that you can. More importantly, someone who assumes they can do whatever it is they want to do is more willing, able and confident to try new things. And trying new things in life and in business is vital to growth.

Your life will be small and predictable if all you ever do is what you know—if you only ever stick to is what is safe. That’s not the life God wants for you. He wants you to push the limits, get outside your comfort zone and try something new.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, a group of 21-year-olds who were paying for a trip to Europe can, in fact, leave an airport to run around Chicago for a few hours. And once my friend got all the approvals she needed, we had an amazing time exploring the city.

I don’t want you to miss out on all that God has prepared for you. That’s why I want to encourage you to train yourself to assume you can. Because when you do, you’ll try new things, see new things, experience new things, and grow in new ways.

Now, don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying you need to change things just for the sake of changing them. If something in your life is rocking and rolling, keep doing that. However, don’t let things get stale in your life. Don’t keep doing what you’ve always been doing simply because you’ve always done it that way. Bring renewed vigor into your life by mixing things up a bit.

Here are three tactical things you can do this week to try something new:

1. Add some personality.

Maybe, up until this point, everything has been strictly business—in work, in your parenting, and in your marriage. That’s no fun! I want to encourage you to add some playfulness and humor into the mix.

Don’t just show your followers the good stuff. Laugh at yourself as you show them some failures and mistakes you’ve experienced that week. Tell them all the ridiculous things that happened. People love that kind of realness. When you add personality to your business, it not only makes it fun for your followers, it makes it fun for you. Win-win!

2. Show behind the scenes.

Have you ever noticed how reality TV shows will always show a person’s backstory before they get on the stage to sing or dance? Y’all, that’s on purpose. People love to hear other people’s backstories, especially when there’s a redemption angle. So, what can you share to become more relatable? I love the quote by Fred Rogers (Mister Rogers) that says, “Frankly, there isn’t anyone you couldn’t learn to love once you’ve heard their story.”

This week, why not try pulling the curtain back and revealing a few secrets?

3. Learn something new.

This is probably my favorite. You’ll never know the limits of your capabilities if you don’t learn something new. There are so many ways to do this: Listen to a new podcast, attend an event, read a new book, or seek out a new relationship. When you invite something new into your business and life, every part of you experiences growth.

I know new things can be scary and overwhelming. But I promise you that everything you want— everything that’s good and worthwhile in the world—exists outside your comfort zone. So, assume that you can, try something new, and I promise you’ll be glad that you did.

Embracing Change with Kelsey Humphreys

Kelsey Humphreys is the queen of trying new things. Hence why introducing her consists of a long list of talents: She’s a speaker, comedienne, author, musician, YouTuber and host of The Kelsey Show podcast. In everything she does, she keeps one mission top-of-mind: To get you laughing and keep you moving toward your goals.

I love that she uses so many different avenues to accomplish that mission. But how was she able to discover all those talents she’s capable of? You got it: By having the courage to try new things.

Kelsey started her career in corporate advertising. She worked her way up the ladder when, one year, a frozen yogurt company reached out and asked her if she would run all of their marketing and branding for their more than 200 stores. This new giant client allowed her to leave the corporate world to start her own business as a freelancer.

But when this major client was sold to another company, Kelsey had two options: She could seek out new clients and continue building her freelance business, or she could do what she really wanted to do—start her own show. The rest, as they say, is history.

On this episode, Kelsey and I talk about:

How to discover who you are by trying new things
How to overcome the fear of rejection
What to do with failure when you try something new
Discovering new avenues for pursuing what you love
How to fit new things into what you’re already doing

Setting the Right Expectations

Every spring, my husband and I take an extended weekend vacation to the beach—just the two of us. After the long winter season, all we want is to spend a few days with the sun beaming down on our faces.

As we were planning this trip, we kept coming across this one hotel that had great reviews. People recommended it again and again. It had a beautiful infinity pool overlooking the beach and oceanfront rooms. It had everything we wanted, so we booked it.

The day finally came when it was time to fly down to Florida. But the moment we pulled into the hotel, I was confused. This hotel was not on the ocean. It was on a busy street. I was mystified because every single photo we saw online showed the hotel right on the beach.

I was amazed at how they managed to manipulate the photos to suspiciously remove the busy street where the hotel actually sat. As you can imagine, all my excitement and anticipation for this trip diminished. I’d looked forward to walking out of the hotel and immediately stepping onto the sand. I’d fantasized about listening from my balcony as the waves crashed on the shore. And now, none of that would be possible.

But here’s the thing: If the hotel’s website had mentioned that this hotel was on a busy street that led to another street actually connected to the beach, I wouldn’t have been disappointed when I arrived. I would’ve known exactly what I was signing up for, or I would’ve booked a different hotel that offered what I was looking for.

It’s so easy to do this in business. You want to attract more customers, so you make big, grand promises. But do you know what happens if you don’t meet those expectations? Your customers are disappointed because you overpromised and under-delivered.

So, I want to encourage you to do something different. I want you to under-promise and over-deliver to your clients. Be incredibly realistic and conservative with your quotes, timelines and capabilities. Be conservative about what you know you can do, and then blow your customers away. Exceed their expectations. When you do this, not only will your customers be much happier, but they’ll come back, too.

1:19 Three Tactical Things You Can Do This Week to Try Something New

13:37 Embracing Change with Kelsey Humphreys

41:44 Challenge to Set the Right Expectations for Your Customers

Resources

Business Boutique Conference

Sponsors

DesignCrowd

Check out our friends at DesignCrowd. If you’re looking for design work for your business, anything from a logo – to business cards – to your website, DesignCrowd is offering you, my Business Boutique listeners, a special offer to save up to $100 when you start your next project. Simply enter the discount code “BB” when posting a project on DesignCrowd. Or visit DesignCrowd.com/BB.

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Download this Episode

Ep 74: Find Your True Self and Get Back to You 0

May 28, 2019

Do you remember dreaming about what your first job would be after college? Maybe you pictured yourself putting on business clothes every day, sitting in creative brainstorming meetings and—arguably the best part when you’re a broke college student—finally getting an adult paycheck. I know I sure did.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t what happened—not even close. My first job after graduating was as an advertising coordinator at a local newspaper in Nashville, TN. I was so excited about this position. From the name alone, I thought it sounded perfect for me.

I envisioned myself working across every department and helping them come up with creative ways to market their messages. Well, it wasn’t long before my little fantasy was crushed. Turns out that “advertising coordinator” was really just a fancy title for data entry.

I spent my days inputting data into a decades-old software program that crashed every few hours. Every day, I walked into a gray cinder block building with gray walls, gray ceilings, gray cubicles and fluorescent lights. I died a little inside every day I worked there. It was a mind-numbing, miserable job for someone like me—creative, energetic and a people-person.

But the problem wasn’t only that the job made me miserable. I couldn’t be myself. I wasn’t doing something I was good at. I wasn’t in a position that made me come alive, gave me energy, or brought me joy. I wasn’t even using my strengths or talents. I wasn’t being me.

Related: Recognizing Your Gifts

Have you ever felt that way?

Have you ever been in situations, gone through seasons, or even spent years feeling like you lost yourself? Feeling like you didn’t even recognize who you were anymore? I meet so many women who feel like they’ve gotten lost in motherhood, their careers or in other people’s expectations of them.

That last one—other people’s expectations—reminds me of a fascinating book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware. Bronnie spent years working in palliative care. During her time caring for the terminally ill, Bronnie wrote a blog that later became a book about the most common regrets of the people she cared for. The number one regret was having worked too much. But the second one really surprised me. It was not having lived a life that was true to themselves.

What Bronnie learned is so important. It’s an opportunity for us to adjust our perspective and start making choices today that will help us avoid that same regret.

Because a life well-lived is one where we live as our truest selves.

Women often tell me they’ve lived for other people for so long they don’t even know what they want anymore. Even worse, they don’t even know who they are anymore.

If this is you today, I want to encourage you: You don’t have to stay there and wonder who you are or where “the real you” went. I want to give you five questions you can ask yourself that will help you get back to you. Consider them road signs to point you in the right direction.

Related: Push Forward and Get Unstuck

Five Questions to Help You Discover Your True Self

1. What do you want?

Don’t ask yourself what your spouse wants, what your kids need, or what all your friends think you should do. Ask yourself what you want. That’s a tough question to answer because we so often consider our own desires to be selfish. But the truth is that the desires of your heart are not bad things. They are God things. In fact, Jesus asked this same question.

A blind man once approached Jesus asking for mercy. Jesus responded by asking him, “What do you want me to do for you?” (Luke 18:41 NIV). Don’t you think Jesus knew what this blind man wanted? Jesus didn’t need the blind man to tell him, but I believe Jesus wanted to draw out those desires in him. And He wants to do the same for you.

2.Where do you want to be?

If you don’t know where you’re going, you’re never going to get there. That’s why I think it’s so important to ask yourself where you want to be in one, three, five and even 10 years. It’s too easy to get caught up in the day-to-day rut of life. We’re so overwhelmed with what’s happening right now, we forget to plan for the future.

But if you don’t stop and ask yourself where you want to be in the future, then you’re going to be in the same place one, three, five and even 10 years from now. Look ahead. Think about where you’re going. Give yourself a sense of direction—not just for the person you are today, but for the person you’re going to become.

3. What gives you energy?

What breathes life and energy into you? Your energy level is a great indicator of how much an activity or commitment is in line with your true self.

Have you ever noticed how completely drained you are when you do something you’re not good at or that you don’t enjoy or care about? Sure, what you love might still make you tired, but it’s the good kind of tired—the kind where you want to wake up and do it all over again. So what activities from your past or present do that for you?

4. What makes you feel like yourself?

Too many times in my life, I’ve done things for other people to make them happy, and I hated myself in the process. I’ve even made purchases that I didn’t want to make with money I didn’t have because I didn’t want to hurt the salesman’s feelings. Isn’t that ridiculous?

I bet you’ve done similar things. Because, as women, we just hate to say no. I’m willing to bet you’ve made commitments and said yes to things you didn’t want to do. But it shouldn’t be that way! Let’s start asking a different question: What makes you like yourself? When are you the proudest and most confident? Do more of that.

5. What makes you come alive?

Before you got married, had children, and started your career or business, I bet you had a set of strengths and talents you offered the world around you. If we’re not careful, we’ll stop offering who we are and what we have, and instead become who we think the world needs us to be. Chores completed. A warm meal on the table. A ride to soccer.

But what if instead of going around asking yourself what everybody needs, you asked yourself what it is that makes you come alive? What your husband needs from you more than a warm meal on the table, and what your kids need from you more than a ride to soccer, and what your job and business need from you more than tasks completed, is a woman in their lives who has come alive.

I believe every single one of you was created on purpose and for a purpose. And nothing makes me come alive more than watching women set free to pursue their God-given gifts. When you do that, you can get back to you, live as your true self, and make God proud in the process.

Getting Back to You with Chrystal Evans Hurst

Chrystal Evans Hurst comes from a powerhouse family. You probably know her parents, legendary pastors Tony and Lois Evans, and her siblings Priscilla Shirer, Anthony Evans and Jonathan Evans. Every single one of them has dedicated their lives to full-time ministry.

I feel like Chrystal and I are kindred spirits. We both get energized by encouraging women to live out the truest version of themselves. Chrystal is a speaker, author of the books She’s Still There, Show Up for Your Life and Kingdom Woman, host of the Chrystal’s Chronicles podcast and a great friend of mine. Chrystal also has five kids! So, y’all, if anyone has an excuse to not live as her true self because she’s busy and overwhelmed, it’s her! But nonetheless, she’s doing it, and you can too.

In this episode, Chrystal and I talk about:

The key to living your most authentic life
How to dig up your gifts when you don’t think you have any
Signs you’re not living your truest self
Enemies who lead to a distracted life

Challenge: You Get to Choose

The other day, I was talking with a college-aged woman who I mentor. She was telling me about a friend of hers who is toxic and full of drama and negativity. So, I asked her the most obvious question I could possibly think of: “Why are you friends with her?”

She responded, “Well, she goes to my church, and we’re in the same friend group.” Still confused, I responded, “But why are you friends with her? You’re not a child anymore. As an adult, you get to choose who you spend your time with. So, why are you friends with her? Why do you want to be friends with a toxic person who brings you down?”

That might sound harsh, but it actually led to a great dialogue between us.

We might not be 19 anymore, but sometimes we still struggle with letting go of toxic friends as well. A few years ago, I was still hanging out with a woman who always just made me feel terrible after we’d spend time together. We’d meet up for coffee, and then I’d come home and complain to my husband about all the ways she brought me down. One day, he asked me the same question I asked my mentee: “Why do you hang out with her? Why are you friends with her?”

I couldn’t come up with a logical reason. That’s when I knew I had to cut her out of my life.

Related: How to Be More Confident

Do you have anyone like that in your life? Let me shoot straight with you: Why do you spend time with people who bring you down, make you feel bad about yourself, or bring negativity into your life?

Friend, your life is just that—yours. You not only have the right to protect it, you have the responsibility. That’s why my challenge to you is this: Make some choices. Figure out who in your life might need a few degrees of separation or need to be removed all together. Don’t spend your life with people who bring you down.

You have the right to choose your friends.

1:20 Five Questions to Help You Discover Your True Self

16:38 Getting Back to You with Chrystal Evans Hurst

42:12 Challenge to Choose Your Friends

Resources

Business Boutique Conference

Sponsors

DesignCrowd

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Download this Episode

Ep 73: The Right Way to Network and Make Connections 0

May 14, 2019

Several years ago, I met someone I’ve admired from afar for years. I was on the road for the spring Business Boutique event in 2016, and we had booked someone who I consider to be a mega-celebrity speaker: Christine Caine. I couldn’t believe I was going to meet her in person and share a stage with her. I would have been grateful simply for the privilege of shaking hands, taking pictures, and hanging out with her. It felt like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

But it was even better than that. We became friends in real life. The following year, she even invited me to speak on her conference tour, Propel Women. Of course, I agreed. We traveled around the country and spoke at six different events.

And this relationship has only continued to grow. She was one of the first people I texted when I found out I was having a baby girl. And she is someone who I continually lean on for mentorship and guidance.

Christine is just one example of the many incredible people I’ve had the privilege of building relationships with through Business Boutique over the last five years. Not only have these connections benefited my personal life, but they’ve also helped my business as well. It’s true what they say: “It’s all about who you know.”

The quality of your life is a direct reflection of the quality of your relationships. The same is true in business. The quality of your business is a direct reflection of the quality of your relationships. Every opportunity that you will ever have in your lifetime will come through people. So regardless of what type of business you’re in, you’re in the people business.

That’s why I want to help you with something that many people find intimidating: networking.

I meet so many women who are terrified of it. They often feel like making new connections is only for outgoing personalities. But I don’t believe that to be true. So today, I want to bust three myths we believe about networking so you can stop believing these lies and take advantage of all it has to offer.

Three Myths We Believe About Networking

Myth #1: There’s only one way to do it.

When you think about networking, you probably picture talking to strangers at a formal event and a lot of awkward interactions. It’s no wonder you want no part of it!

But do you know what networking really is? Meeting people and making connections. That’s it. It’s really that simple. And you can build relationships with people anywhere and at any time. I’d be willing to bet you’re already doing this every single day.

As women, we’re naturally relational and enjoy connecting with new people. It’s what we do. You don’t need to have a pitch or an agenda or be in a formal setting to meet someone new. Stop thinking about networking as anything more than making a new friend.

Myth #2: You have to be extroverted.

Introverts might experience more anxiety when walking into a roomful of people, but they actually have the advantage. Why? Because introverts are gifted at connecting one-on-one and building deep, quality relationships. They may not want to work the room or be the life of the party, but they’re going to walk out of there with at least one real connection.

Here’s a tip for you introverts: Start small. Scan the room and see if you can find just one person who looks inviting (bonus points if they’re also alone). Walk up to them and introduce yourself. I guarantee that anyone in that room who is standing by themselves will welcome a friendly face because they’re probably feeling exactly how you are.

Keep in mind that this doesn’t have to only be in-person. You can make connections online. For introverts, it’s a great way to get out of your shell and get some practice under your belt.

Myth #3: You’ll come off as self-seeking.

We all have this fear that people will think we have an agenda or we’re going to take advantage of them when we’re networking. It’s the same reason we feel weird about selling. But there’s a tried and true way to get over this: Focus on what you can give, not on what you can get.

Here’s what’s so beautiful about this idea: It will help you in business, marketing, speaking, life and networking. Basically, it will help you everywhere. I want you to approach everything in your life by focusing on what you can give. I guarantee the person on the other side of the conversation will feel the difference.

When you walk into a trade show or event, don’t walk in there thinking, How can I get a business card or a new client or a referral? Instead, think about how you can provide solutions and real value. When you have that mindset, I’m willing to bet you’ll get more than you can imagine in return.

Remember, people buy from those they know, like and trust. So just focus on the relationship. Business can happen later. Because, at the end of the day, networking is just a fancy word for making new friends who can play a role in building your dream and your business.

How to Make the Right Connections with Ken Coleman

Ken Coleman is an expert when it comes to making the right connections in life and in business. He went from having zero experience or education in broadcasting to become nationally known by strategically positioning himself in proximity to the right people. Today, Ken is the host of The Ken Coleman Show and The EntreLeadership Podcast. He’s also the author of One Question and the brand-new book The Proximity Principle: The Proven Strategy That Will Lead to the Career You Love.

Ken’s work is centered around helping people figure out what they’re passionate about so they can move into a life and career they love—just like he did.

In this episode, Ken and I talk about:

The secret to methodical growth in your career
How to start a business or change jobs without going back to school
When to give up on a dream and when to persevere
How to learn from professionals even when you don’t live near them
The difference between audacious and obnoxious

The Most Important Quality You Can Have

Many of you may already know, but I am expecting my third child (a baby girl!) in September. So, of course, I’ve been thinking a lot about being a mom and the qualities I want my children to have. I often think, What do I want for my children? Who do I want them to be? What prayers should I pray for them?

For as long as I can remember, there has been one particular quality that I have wanted above all others: Confidence. I have seen how it can be a game-changer in your life.

When you’re self-assured, you’ll reach for bigger dreams and write scarier goals. You’ll ask for more and assume you’re capable of doing whatever it is you want to do. You’ll withstand peer pressure (even in adulthood), put yourself out there, and take more risks.

Related: How to Be More Confident

Like networking, people tend to think confidence is just for extroverts and the social butterflies. It couldn’t be further from the truth. Confidence is a skill and freely available to anyone

Fear, on the other hand, establishes limits in your life. Nothing will build your confidence like pushing beyond your comfort zone, trying something new, going after what you’re afraid of, and realizing you are capable of far more than you imagined.

Friends, don’t stay stuck feeling like your fears will always rule you. Confidence is a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it becomes. Over time, it will become authentic. Don’t wait until you’re not scared to do the thing you want to do. Work on cultivating confidence in your own life and then go do it scared.

1:21 Three Myths We Believe About Networking

14:21 How to Make the Right Connections with Ken Coleman

50:55 Encouragement to Cultivate Confidence in Your Life

Resources

The Proximity Principle by Ken Coleman

Ken Coleman's new book, The Proximity Principle: The Proven Strategy That Will Lead to the Career You Love, gives you a proven plan that will lead you to more opportunities than you’ve ever seen before. And it's available now! Use the code BBPROXIMITY at checkout to receive a bonus Business Boutique podcast episode with Ken Coleman where we talk about the 5 Steps to Living a Life of Significance. Order The Proximity Principle today at KenColeman.com.

Business Boutique Conference

Sponsors

DesignCrowd

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Download this Episode

Ep 72: Push Forward and Get Unstuck 0

Apr 30, 2019

You know those awful dreams where you’re desperately trying to run away from someone or something and you can’t get away? You feel like your feet are stuck in blocks of cement. And when you try to scream for help, all that comes out is air.

I’ve had that same kind of dream more times than I would like to admit. Regardless of the scenario, the theme is the same: I can’t get away because I’m not in control.

Sometimes we can feel like that in real life too. You want to get ahead in your business. But no matter what you do, you just can’t take it to the next level. Or maybe it’s your relationship. You used to laugh and play and go on dates. But not anymore. Or maybe you feel like you’ve lost a piece of yourself, and you can’t figure out why you just don’t have the same gusto or energy you used to have.

Feeling stuck is hard. But you know what? This is not a bad dream where you can’t run away or scream for help. This is real life, and you are more in control than you realize.

With a few small changes, you can regain momentum and get unstuck. Today, I want to share five practical steps you can take to get back to pursuing your goals.

Five Steps to Help You Get Unstuck

Step 1: Go Back to Your Why

We talk about your why all the time at Business Boutique. Knowing it will answer questions like:

Why are you doing this?
Why is this important to you?
Why does this type of success matter to you?

I love that these questions can apply to any area of your life—parenting, goal-setting, your marriage, your business, etc. Wherever you’re feeling stuck, remind yourself why this thing or person or work is a gift from God.

When you go back to your original motivation, you return to a perspective you probably lost along the way—when you got busy, tired and stuck. Let your why reignite the fire within you.

Step 2: Get Moving

The very meaning of the word stuck means a lack of movement. But it’s a lot easier to stay moving once you get moving. That’s why your only objective in this step is to take a baby step toward some kind of physical activity.

For some, that might be just getting out of bed and putting on clean clothes. For others, it’s putting on makeup or going for a walk. Don’t think about all the things you need to do yet; focus on the smallest step you can take to get moving. It doesn’t have to be directly related to your end goal either. Even just going for a run can you give you the energy you need to get back to work.

Step 3: Focus on One Thing at a Time

A long to-do list is overwhelming. When you look at all the work that needs to get done, it’s easy to believe you can’t accomplish all of it. Instead, I want you to pick the most urgent task and focus on completing just that one thing.

Checking off the first activity from your list will give you a great sense of satisfaction. It’s a quick win, and it’s progress. And any progress is positive.

Step 4: Change What You Say

We have a tendency to make our problems bigger with the words we use. Confession: I’m the queen of this. If I’m a little overwhelmed, I magnify the issue by talking about it a lot.

Related: Is It Fear, or Wisdom?

If you only think about how overwhelmed you are and how stuck you feel, then that’s exactly where you’re going to stay. You fan the flame when you talk about it day in and day out. That’s why Step 4 is to change your attitude and change your words.

I love how Brené Brown puts it: “Talk to yourself like you would someone you love.”

Step 5: Pray

The power of prayer is real. If God cares about every dream in your heart, don’t you think He cares that you’re feeling stuck? He’s a way-maker. He makes a way when there seems to be no other way. If you’ve never experienced this, start now. I want to encourage you to pray about the big things and the small things and everything in between.

You might be feeling stuck right now, and we all do in different seasons of life and business. But that’s not where you have to stay. Remind yourself of your why, get moving, focus on one thing at a time, change what you say, and pray. I’m confident that God will get you through this.

Persevering When You’re Stuck with Jordan Lee Dooley

I am so excited to introduce y’all to Jordan Lee Dooley. She’s a creative entrepreneur, author, speaker, coach and the host of The SHE Podcast. Jordan is an accidental entrepreneur. In college, her boyfriend at the time (now husband!) encouraged her to find a creative outlet. She loved hand lettering, so she started selling mugs on Etsy.

It grew so quickly that she had to recruit the help of her sorority sisters to package and ship her products. Her Etsy store expanded to include a personal blog and social media accounts where she would write and share stories of the women in her life. People loved it. That’s when Jordan realized she was running more than just a mug shop. Today, SoulScripts is a lifestyle shop and movement of women supporting other women.

On this episode, Jordan and I talk about:

The temptations that keep us stuck
How to know what the next right step is
Why research and trying new things is important
Learning from the season you’re in
How to take informed steps of faith

Living Your Version of Success

I’ve noticed something while working with women of all ages and stages of business: We have a lot of different ideas about what success looks like.

Years ago, when I was doing research for Business Boutique, I talked to some women who just wanted to make a couple extra hundred dollars a month to help pay for their kid’s sports. Others wanted to run a seven-figure business, grow a team, and open multiple locations.

Here is what is so beautiful: The heart behind both of those dreams, and everything in between, is what really matters. Because it’s not your top-line or bottom-line growth or how many team members you have that’s important. It’s whether you’re happy and feel successful in your dream.

If you want to make a little extra money for soccer or a trip to Disneyland, that’s valid and worthy and you should chase that dream. If you want your company to be a national brand and have multiple locations, that’s also valid and worthy. Both of those dreams are important because they’re yours.

Related: Shake Off Your Shame

Don’t look to others to define success. Just make money doing what you love.

So, how do you define success? Write it down. It might change in the future, so just focus on your version of success right now. In my research, I found that as women achieved their version of success, their dreams and goals got bigger. As their confidence grew, their dreams grew.

You have the right—in fact, you have the responsibility—to chase your version of success. So, what’s that going to be?

#AskChristyWright

On this segment of #AskChristyWright, we talk about the pros and cons of launching a course versus a subscription membership site. If you have a question for me, call my toll-free number 844-944-1074 for a chance to be featured on the show.

1:27 Five Steps to Help You Get Unstuck

16:48 Persevering When You’re Stuck with Jordan Lee Dooley

42:58 #AskChristyWright

45:48 Challenge: Live Your Version of Success

Resources

Business Boutique Conference

Sponsors

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Download this Episode

Ep 71: How to Launch a Product, Service, or Business 0

Apr 16, 2019

My team thinks I’m never in the office. And, if we’re being honest, they have a point. Between travel, speaking engagements, video shoots and off-site writing days, I just don’t spend a lot of time at my desk.

I remember one particular week when I was with my team all day every day because we were launching a new product. They gave me so much flak those five days. They went on and on about how I was never in the office and how much more fun it was when I did come around.

So I decided the following Monday, when I normally wouldn’t be in the office, to surprise and delight my team with a box of warm donuts. I thought it was the greatest idea ever. I imagined myself bursting through the doors, while everyone cheered for this special treat. I mean, I really built this whole thing up in my head.

As luck would have it, no one was there when I arrived. Not a single person. I was so disappointed. It turns out, I chose a time when every single person on my team was either in a meeting or working in another building. I had planned this surprise poorly.

Even though the donuts were still great later on when everyone finally showed up, I was disappointed that my team hadn’t been there for the grand entrance. The effect just wasn’t the same.

This story reminds me of what it often looks like when we launch something new like a product, service or business. We come up with a great idea and have high expectations for what will happen when we share it with the world. And then we launch and no one shows up. It flops and we don’t understand why.

Launches are important, so we have to get them right. Whether you’re introducing a new product line, announcing an upcoming conference, or offering a new service, there are things you must do to have a successful launch—but there’s also a lot of room to be creative. That’s because launching is both a science and an art.

If you want to create a better launch experience, one where people actually show up and buy, you’ll want to incorporate three key elements.

The Three Essentials of a Successful Launch

1. Relationships

Sixty percent of sales occur after the fourth interaction with a potential customer.⁽¹⁾ It’s because people buy from those they know, like and trust. That’s why if you’re going to launch anything, you need existing relationships to launch to. Otherwise, you’ll be launching to no one.

Don’t get intimidated if you don’t have any customers yet. Utilize your existing relationships to get started. Announce it to your Facebook friends, send an email to all your contacts, and ask your family, friends and church community if they would help you spread the word.

2. A Date

A launch is an event. And just like every event, it must happen on a certain date. The last thing you want to do is drag out a launch over a long period of time because then there’s no urgency for your customer to take action. Choose a date that people can put on their calendars, plan around, and get excited about.

When you land on a date for your launch, consider what else is going on in your business and the world in that season. You want to make sure it’s a good time for your customers to buy and you won’t be competing with another event.

3. Anticipation

Research shows that when we have time to anticipate something, we actually enjoy it more when it occurs. Makes sense, doesn’t it? Half the fun of a vacation is counting down the days.

This is why anticipation around your launch is critical to its success. Once you’ve picked a date, start creating buzz. Remember, it’s not just a date. It’s an event! People should be daydreaming about the release of your product or service like they fantasize about their upcoming vacation.

At Business Boutique, we do this every year when we open enrollment for the Academy. We create new videos, write about the opening in our blog, and post about it on Instagram. We’re likely talking about it everywhere you turn. And when the day finally arrives, we make it a huge celebration! This is all intentional, and it works.

Let’s recap: Whatever you’re launching, you can make it a huge success by launching to your existing relationships, choosing a date, and building anticipation.

Pulling Off a Great Launch with Stu McLaren

My guest today is Stu McLaren! Stu is an expert at marketing online products, producing successful launches, and building membership sites. He’s also the host of the Marketing Your Business podcast. A lot of what we do at Business Boutique comes from what we learned from Stu, which is why I’m so excited to introduce you to him.

Stu started his career as a motivational speaker on high school and college campuses. But it wasn’t long before he realized there was a cap to the potential growth of his business. Schools could only afford so much, and he could only speak so many times. He dove into information marketing believing that if he could learn how to sell his expertise, he could to scale his business beyond schools. It was on this journey that he began helping companies build membership sites. And it’s when he quickly realized how much he enjoyed the launch portion of these programs.

On today’s episode, Stu and I talk about:

Components of what makes a launch special
How to involve your audience in the lead-up process
The five phases of a successful launch
The difference between a testimonial and a customer story

Saying Yes to the Scary Things

If you’ve ever attended a Business Boutique conference, you know one of the best moments of the entire weekend is when we all get up and dance to Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off.” We always do this after my talk on fear. I love giving women this opportunity to shake off whatever it is that’s been holding them back from pursuing their dreams.

At the last conference, we wanted to change things up a bit. We thought it would be fun to hire a flash mob of professional dancers pretending to be attendees to come onstage during the song. The idea was that they would act uncomfortable and awkward and then at a certain point in the song, they would jump into a choreographed routine.

Originally, I wasn’t going to be a part of the flash mob. But at the last moment, the week before the event, I decided I wanted to go for it and learn the dance. It was a 30-second routine. I thought, Surely, I can do this.

Even though I practiced a lot, I was nervous. I felt totally great about speaking, teaching, interviewing, and putting on a great show. But I wasn’t at all comfortable with the idea of dancing onstage with a bunch of professionals. I planned to just hide in the back, where no one could focus on me.

Of course, that’s not how it worked out. The lead dancer called out sick the morning of rehearsal, so they decided to move me front and center. I was terrified. This was a three-day event, where I would be onstage 90% of the time. And yet this 30-second dance routine was more nerve-racking to me than anything else.

But when it finally happened, y’all, I felt like Beyoncé! It turned out to be one of the coolest parts of the entire event. The crowd erupted while we danced our hearts out.

I learned something that day: Sometimes the scariest things in life lead us to the best things. Oftentimes, what comes with the most risk can lead us to the greatest reward. I could have come up with a thousand different excuses. But I would have missed out on that incredible moment when I felt like a superstar.

I don’t know what that scary thing is for you. Maybe it’s that business you want to launch or saying yes to a volunteer opportunity. Whatever it is, I want to challenge you to go for it. Even though it’s scary, it might just turn out to be one of your favorite moments of all time.

#AskChristyWright

On today’s segment, we talk about protecting your time while leaving space for new business opportunities. If you have a question for me, call my toll-free number 844-944-1074 for a chance to be featured on the show.

1:26 The Three Essentials of a Successful Launch

11:47 Pulling Off a Great Launch with Stu McLaren

35:19 #AskChristyWright

37:46 Challenge: Say Yes to the Scary Things

Resources

Business Boutique Conference

To save $10 on any Business Boutique Conference ticket, use the code BBWRIGHT.

Sponsors

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Download this Episode

Ep 70: How to Be Content in Every Situation 0

Apr 2, 2019

Picture this: You’re booked to speak on a college campus. The auditorium seats 1,000, but only three students show up. Yes, that’s 997 empty seats. And the icing on the cake? The three students who bothered to show up only did so for the extra credit.

Ouch.

Or how about this: You’re speaking at a conference for a bank, and even though there are enough seats for a few hundred people, only two show up. TWO! Are you cringing yet? To make matters worse, one of them talks—yes, talks, not texts—on her cell phone during your presentation. Oh, and that other attendee? He promptly falls asleep and snores the whole time.

No, I’m not describing my worst nightmares. Unfortunately, both of those things actually happened to me. I mean, I can’t make this stuff up!

And, y’all, I have stories like these for days from the years I spent speaking in high school cafeterias, family reunions, libraries and strip malls.

As an aspiring professional speaker like I was at the time, it would’ve been easy to get discouraged in those situations. And believe me, some days were harder than others. But really, it’s natural to feel disappointed when reality doesn’t measure up to your expectations—like when your business isn’t as big, impressive or successful as you thought it would be today.

Patience can be hard, right?

I get it because I’ve been there. But you know what? Even in that season when nobody showed up for my speeches, when every audience was tiny, I always brought the same level of passion and energy.

Why? Because I believe there is something sacred in every season we go through.

In other words, there is training in the trenches.

It’s during those hard seasons that something happens in you that can’t happen any other way. It’s like a rite of passage. So, instead of wishing away what you’re going through right now or focusing on what’s next, I encourage you to find contentment in the now.

I know that can be challenging when you’ve got big dreams. But I promise, it’s possible to be content with where you are today without giving up on your goals—it’s a both/and situation. That could look like super-serving the 200 Instagram followers you have today while working to turn that into 200,000. Or giving a heartfelt speech to five people while working on the marketing plan to grow your following. It’s both being content and striving for more.

I’ve told you this before, but it’s worth repeating. If you’re not faithful with what you have and where you are today, God can’t trust you with more. That’s exactly why—no matter if I’m speaking to two people or 2,000—I bring my all to every single speaking engagement.

Don’t despise your small beginnings, embrace them. Practicing contentment makes it much easier to hear what God is teaching you in each season. Here are three ways you can start doing that right now:

Three Ways to Practice Contentment

1. Control Your Thoughts

You have more power over your mind than you think. I know this is hard, especially when you’re scrolling Instagram and see that one of your girlfriends has a brand-new kitchen or is on a fancy vacation. Do you know what you’re doing in that moment? You’re comparing someone else’s highlight reel to your current reality. Stop doing that!

Comparison is a recipe for discouragement and resentment.

2. Focus on What You Have

When you look at what you already have, it is so much easier to have an attitude of gratitude. I love how 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to take every thought captive to Christ. When you feel comparison creep in, kick those thoughts to the curb and focus on what you’re grateful for instead.

The truth is, you and I have more than most people. We live in the greatest country in the world with more money, resources and technology than we know what to do with. So stop focusing on what you wish you had. Focus on what you do have, and I bet you’ll find it difficult not to be content.

3. Write It Down

There is something so powerful about writing down things like what you’re grateful for or the goals you’re striving towards. It’s as if by writing them down, you’re elevating their importance so they can take on a life of their own.

That’s because when you put something down on paper, you remove it from the battlefield of your mind and bring it into the real world.

How to Be More Content with Rachel Cruze

My guest today is Rachel Cruze! She’s the best-selling author of Love Your Life, Not Theirs and Smart Money Smart Kids. She’s also a speaker, host of The Rachel Cruze Show and one of my very best friends.

Rachel is passionate about helping people balance spending and saving money. But everything she teaches about money centers around contentment. That’s because mismanaging your finances is often a symptom of a deeper issue: discontentment.

In her work, she has found that content people are more likely to win with money because:

They’re more inclined to save money
They’re willing to sacrifice to get out of debt
They live generous lives

On today’s episode, we talk about:

What contentment actually is and isn’t
A real formula you can use to quit comparison
How to be grateful—even on the days you don’t feel like it

I’m so excited to share that Rachel has just released a beautiful tool to help us all on this journey. Rachel’s Contentment Journal is a 90-day guided journal all about loving your life and focusing on who God created you to be. If you want to learn more and read the first 10 pages for free, text RC Journal to 33444 or click on the link in the Resources section below.

Contentment and FOMO

Time management is something I struggle with every single day—yes, even as a business coach! We all have 24 hours in a day, but somehow that never feels like enough. And social media has made this even harder. FOMO, anyone?

Thanks to FOMO, it’s so much harder to say no. We say yes to all the invitations because if we don’t, we’re afraid we’ll regret it when we see everything we missed out on all over Instagram.

But, guess what? Contentment is actually the cure for FOMO! When you’re content where you are—whether that’s at home in your pajamas on a Friday night or at the playground on a Sunday afternoon—you have the confidence to say no. You can easily turn down invitations without fear because you know you’ve said yes to what really matters to you.

Y’all, here’s the thing: We can’t do it all. Spending time trying to keep up with other people’s demands and expectations is just plain exhausting. I want you to not just find contentment in your heart, but also find contentment in how you manage your time. This week, I challenge you to spend your time only on what’s most important to you.

#AskChristyWright

On today’s #AskChristyWright segment, we talk about how to raise your prices without losing your current customers. If you have a question for me, call my toll-free number 844-944-1074 for a chance to be featured on the show.

1:19 Intentional Living: Three Clues You’re Living in Your Purpose

11:49 How to Cultivate a Life of Purpose with Lara Casey

37:55 #AskChristyWright

42:45 Challenge: Share Your “Why” with Your Customers

Resources

The Contentment Journal by Rachel Cruze

Sometimes life feels insanely busy, disorganized, and downright unfulfilling. But God created you for more than that.

In a world full of distraction and comparison, Rachel Cruze's brand-new Contentment Journal is about loving YOUR life. This 90-day guided journal will take you from feeling busy, disorganized and unfulfilled to loving your life and focusing on who God created you to be.

There are 3 Sections of the Journal:

1. Gratitude
2. Humility
3. Contentment

This journal is the tool that will help you focus on what matters most to you. You can learn more and start reading the first 10 pages for free by texting RCJOURNAL to 33444 or by clicking on this link!

This 90-day guided journal will take you from feeling busy, disorganized and unfulfilled to loving your life and focusing on who God created you to be.

Sponsors

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Download this Episode

Ep 69: Finding Your Purpose Through Intentional Living 0

Mar 19, 2019

Some people think I help people find their calling. But I’ll be the first to tell you that’s not what I do. It’s just not my thing. The idea that there is only one purpose I was put on this Earth to do is paralyzing. I actually believe there are many things I could do that would get me excited about going to work on a Monday morning. And I think the same is probably true for you.

That’s why I don’t deal with callings. Instead, I help people discover something they’re really good at and enjoy doing, so they can turn it into a business they love. I love this because when people know what they’re passionate about, they begin to live intentionally in their purpose.

They become more thoughtful and action-oriented because now they know exactly what to go after. Rather than just reacting to whatever life throws at them, they set goals and carefully evaluate the steps needed to get there.

This is important because when you decide to live on purpose in your purpose, you’ll experience more fulfillment and success. Why? Because nothing will push you to work harder than whatever it is that fires you up.

So let me ask you: Is this the kind of life you’re living today? I know it can be hard to feel sure, which is why I have three clues you can look for to figure this out.

How Do You Know If You’re Living an Intentional Life?

1. You’re Living in Your Gifts and Strengths

I believe God made you 100% unique. There’s no one else on this Earth who has your combination of voice, style, perspective, experience and interests.

Understanding and utilizing the gifts God has given you in your business is critical to your success. Like I said earlier: When you’re not working in your strengths, you not only won’t enjoy your work, but you’ll also lack the motivation to push through the rough patches. And let me tell you, there are a lot of those in business.

If you could use more encouragement around using your God-given gifts in business, download my free 7-Day Devotional in the Resources section below.

2. You’re Passionate About What You’re Pursuing

Just like your strengths and your gifts, God also created you with unique interests, values and passions.

I love dancing, but I hate details. I get really excited about adventure and being outside, but I’m not a fan of math, history or science. I’m passionate about people and relationships, but I’m not crazy about politics. But you know what’s so fascinating? There are lots of people out there who do get excited about the things I don’t like.

So what gets you excited? What makes you light up and come alive? What gives you energy and joy? Take your time thinking and praying over these questions. It will help you identify whether you’re actually passionate about what you’re doing.

3. You’re Making a Difference

God didn’t create any of us to be an island—off on our own unconcerned about the rest of the world. In fact, I believe He created us to live and work in community. It means He gave us our unique strengths, gifts and passions for the purpose of blessing other people.

When you focus on the needs of the people you’re helping and serving, you’re making a difference. You’re impacting someone’s life, and that’s a clear indicator that you’re exactly where you need to be.

This week, I want to challenge you to look for specific examples of each clue in your life. Are you living in your strengths? Are you passionate about what you’re doing? Are you making a difference in some way?

The list you compile should tell you one of two things:

You’re doing exactly what you should be doing right now.
It’s time to start making small changes that will lead you where you want to be in the future.

How to Cultivate a Life of Purpose with Lara Casey

My guest today has built her life around intentional living, and she’s experienced a lot of success because of it. Lara Casey is the CEO of Cultivate What Matters, author of the books Cultivate and Make It Happen, creator of PowerSheets and the host of the podcast Cultivate Your Life. Lara is passionate about creating tools to help women live out their purpose right where they are. Clearly, she’s doing it in so many different ways!

Her story is filled with many turns and detours. Too often, we don’t understand the winding path we’ve been on. But Lara encourages us to embrace our journey anyway because God can use all of it.

I love how Lara puts it: “Sometimes we look back at our paths to where we are now and some of the pieces can feel very disconnected. But I’m so grateful to look back and see how deeply connected each one of my pieces is.”

On today’s episode, we talk about:

How to connect the dots in your past to discover your purpose
Living with intention versus living by accident
Practical ways to start living on purpose today
Dealing with disappointment when you don’t meet your goals
Taking the pressure to always say yes off ourselves (and others)

From Intentional Living to Intentional Selling

Long before I created Business Boutique—before there was a book, a podcast, a live event and an Academy—I spent many months on the phone doing the not-so-glamorous work of gathering research. I wanted to learn everything I could about people with side businesses.

I had a list of questions I asked each and every person I interviewed. One question was: “How do you feel about selling?” Every single person responded the same way. They all had negative things to say about sales.

And I totally get it! Selling is uncomfortable and intimidating, even if you’ve been in business for a while.

But you know what surprised me the most? After the question about selling, I would always ask, “Why do you love this business?” Y’all, I would literally hear an audible shift in the tone of their voice as each one told me the story behind their business.

I remember one photographer telling me, “I love capturing these moments and memories that matter.” Another woman who sewed dresses for little girls said, “I love seeing little girls in the church lobby on Sunday morning twirling around in a dress that I sewed them.” As they shared their hearts with me, I immediately wanted to buy from them right then and there. Why? Because that kind of passion is attractive and draws you in.

That is the power of story. You don’t have to feel slimy or be pushy or get on people’s nerves to sell your product or service. Instead, I want to encourage you to simply share your story. Share your why with your potential customer. When you do that, the sale will naturally follow.

#AskChristyWright

On today’s #AskChristyWright segment, we talk about the pros and cons of selling your products on Etsy versus launching your own website. We also talk about standing out from the competition on Etsy and how to leverage your current and past customers.

I love hearing directly from you. If you have a question for me, give me a call on my toll-free line at 844.944.1074. You might hear your question on a future episode!

1:19 Intentional Living: Three Clues You're Living in Your Purpose

11:49 How to Cultivate a Life of Purpose with Lara Casey

37:55 #AskChristyWright

42:45 Challenge: Share Your "Why" with Your Customers

Resources

Get Christy’s 7-Day Devotional by filling out the form here!

The Business Boutique Academy is OPEN!

I’m so excited to announce that enrollment to the Business Boutique Academy is open! The Academy is the only place where I get in your business with you.

Stop getting stuck wondering what to do next. I’ll teach you what to focus on every week and give you the resources to help you win. You’ll also get monthly training sessions with me and access to an incredible community of like-minded women in business—because you weren’t made to do this alone.

It’s only open for a few days, so get in before it’s too late. And you know I’ve got a special treat for you, my podcast listeners. When you sign up for the Academy using the promo code ACADEMYBONUS, you’ll get a free audio lesson: 3 Ninja Tricks I Use to Maximize Social Media. I’ll see you there!

Sponsors

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Download this Episode

Ep 68: Inviting Faith Into Your Business 0

Mar 5, 2019

It’s hard to believe that nearly five years ago, Business Boutique was just a dream in my heart. Wow. That’s hard to grasp on so many levels, but especially because Business Boutique is such a huge part of my life now. But, y’all, talk about humble beginnings. All we really knew is that we wanted to create a place where women could get the support and training they need to make money doing what they love. That’s it.

So we went straight to the source: women who knew they were made for more. We talked to a lot of them and asked what felt like millions of questions. And we noticed something interesting.

All of these women seemed to describe their pursuit of “more” in different ways. Some called it a side business. Others referred to it as a side hustle. Some even called themselves mompreneurs. Suddenly, we knew coming up with a name for our project that perfectly encompasses what all of these women do—and one that clearly communicates exactly how we can help them—was absolutely crucial to our success.

No pressure, right?

In all our meetings and brainstorming sessions, my leader Dave Ramsey kept referring to a small side business as a boutique business. But that name didn’t feel quite right. Would people immediately think we only help people start boutiques? I mean, we were going to help them grow a lot of different things.

We continued to run into this wall until I decided to pray about it. I know, it should have been the first thing I did. But unfortunately, it was my last resort.

My prayer that day was this: Lord, what are we going to call this? We can’t call it Boutique Business because we’re not helping people start boutiques. We’re helping them grow a lot of different things. How do we describe this market when these women describe themselves in so many different ways?

He answered me that very day.

I heard God say: Flip it. It’s not Boutique Business. It’s the Business Boutique. And you’re not describing what all of them do. You’re describing what YOU do. You are the place where women come to get help with their business—any type of business.

Y’all, I knew in the moment that Business Boutique was it. I immediately sent a text to the team telling them we were supposed to flip the name. It was like this lightbulb had finally come on. And everyone agreed.

Of course they did! Because it was God’s idea.

And you know what? God is full of really good ideas. That’s why I invite my faith into my business every single day. Seeing God’s fingerprints all over Business Boutique takes the pressure off me and reminds me of who’s really in control.

Have you invited God into your business yet? I’m here to tell you it’s never too late.

Seeking God in Your Business

Too often, we keep our personal lives and our business lives separate. We are so faith-filled in our personal lives but, for some reason, we get all practical and non-spiritual in our business. It’s as if we believe God doesn’t have any part to play—as if He can’t provide for our business, doesn’t understand the industry, or can’t help us scale it. The truth is faith and business go hand in hand.

Guess who gave you the gifts and skills you use in your business?

Guess who gave you the finances needed to start your business?

Guess who gave you the courage to finally do it even though you were scared?

That’s all God. The business you own is actually God’s business. Do you see a pattern here?

God is already in your business because God is in you—and you are in your business.

I want to challenge you to start thinking about your business as a place where you can invite God to partner with you. Our business problems are not outside of God’s control. He wants to be immersed in every aspect of our lives, so don’t leave Him out of this part.

I created this 7-Day Devotional to help you do just that. I pray this devotional will help remind you that God cares not only about you, but He also cares about your dreams and your business, too. He loves to come through for you—not just on Sunday, but during the week.

Is your business thriving right now? Have you praised God for that?

Is your business struggling right now? Have you prayed for wisdom and help yet?

Is something holding you back from starting? You can pray for courage, too!

I also want to challenge you to start a new habit this week. Set aside time every day to pray over your business, your team members and your customers—and the way they will be impacted by your product or service.

God wants to build your business with you. Invite Him in!

Discovering Your God Assignments With Heather MacFadyen

My guest today knows all about bringing faith into your business. Heather MacFadyen is the founder of Don’t Mom Alone and the host of the Don’t Mom Alone Podcast.

After blogging for three years, Heather thought she was on track to write a book. But God had a different plan for her—podcasting. Organically, her show began to center around three themes: mentorship, friendship and discipleship. And, amazingly, those topics all reinforced the same thing: Don’t Mom Alone..

In this episode, we talk about:

The difference between an assignment and a calling
Embracing where you are no matter what you’re going through
Working on the areas where you’re weak
Releasing yourself from the pressure to do everything well
Why you need to invite God in

Take Your Thoughts Captive

Too often, my mind is being pulled in a thousand directions. Can you relate? The problem is that it’s not always the right direction or the truth direction. Guess what? This is an area where the enemy can really get a foothold and paralyze you.

It can start with something as small as one mean comment on your blog post or one bad review about your product. The enemy takes that tiny seed and waters it so it grows and begins to spiral out of control. All of a sudden, what started out as an insignificant comment compounds into a giant insecurity.

2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to take our thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. If we don’t do that, our thoughts will shape our beliefs and our beliefs will shape our behavior.

If you’re not careful, these negative thoughts can change your actions. You’ll no longer try as hard. You won’t go for opportunities that scare you because your courage is shot. You might even give up. And it can all be traced back to that one tiny thought.

I want to tell you what I do when that starts to happen to me. I stop and ask myself: Is this true? Is this what God says about me? Those simple questions immediately cut through the lies and bring me back to reality.

No, I’m not a bad mom.

Yes, I was made for business.

Of course, I CAN do this.

I want to encourage you to make a list of everything you believe about your business. Don’t edit it. Write down all the thoughts that go through your head during the day and hold them against that litmus test. Is this true about me? Is this true about my business? Is this what God says about me? Is this what the Bible says about me?

Just wait and see how God changes the way you think about yourself. You were created on purpose, for a purpose. Don’t let the enemy take that from you.

#AskChristyWright

On today’s #AskChristyWright segment, we talk about:

How to know if Facebook advertising is right for you
Finding efficiencies in your business

If you have a question, give me a call on my toll-free line at 844.944.1074. You might hear your question on a future episode!

1:23 Inviting God Into Your Business

14:25 Discovering Your God Assignments With Heather MacFadyen

37:16 #AskChristyWright

40:37 Encouragement: Take Your Thoughts Captive

Resources

Get your own Fear or Wisdom Filter by filling out the form here!

We are opening enrollment for the Business Boutique Academy!

It will be open for only a few days, and I’m telling you now because I want you to plan for it. The cost is $489 for the entire year to have me as your business coach and a tribe of women by your side every step of the way. Budget for it, mark your calendar, join the waitlist, and get in the Academy on March 18!

Text the code ACADEMYWAITLIST to 33444 to sign up for the Business Boutique Academy Waitlist to be notified the moment enrollment opens!

Sponsors

Check out our friends at DesignCrowd. If you’re looking for design work for your business, anything from a logo - to business cards - to your website, DesignCrowd is offering you, my Business Boutique listeners, a special offer to save up to $100 when you start your next project. Simply enter the discount code “BB” when posting a project on DesignCrowd. Or visit DesignCrowd.com/BB.

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Download this Episode

Ep 67: How to Build Community With Your Business 0

Feb 19, 2019

A few months ago, I read a very interesting article in The Washington Post about a researcher who studied 400,000 knitters. She was learning about my favorite topic: how these women turned their hobby of knitting into a business. She discovered an interesting phenomenon that I’ve actually witnessed for years now through Business Boutique.

Before I launched Business Boutique, I conducted my own research on women with businesses. I noticed an interesting theme: When it comes to turning your hobby into a business, a sense of community plays a key role in women doing it scared. When we have camaraderie and support, when we can lock arms with other women and do it together, we’re more likely to launch the business we’ve been dreaming about.

This woman’s research reiterated that reality. From the 403,168 individual knitters she studied from 2007 to 2014, the ones who joined a group to craft socially were 25% more likely to start a business.⁽¹⁾ When asked what it was that transformed these women from pattern makers to pattern sellers, the most common answer was that someone they knew had encouraged them to sell their work: Many had already been modifying patterns and designing their own yarn gnomes and cat costumes, but until they heard from others, they lacked the confidence to step out on their own.⁽²⁾

I was blown away by this. Not because I had never heard of this phenomenon before (my own research proved it), but because this principle of needing community is still true in a specific industry like knitting and on a massive scale like a study of 400,000 people. There’s no doubt that entrepreneurship can be intimidating and lonely.

But that’s where the power of building community comes in.

I see this every single year at our Business Boutique events. When you bring 3,000 women together from all over the country who work in all types of industries and are in different stages of business, there is a special bond created. Here’s what happens: These women walk into the room with all kinds of feelings, fears and questions about their businesses, and they think they’re the only ones who feel that way.

But once they hear the speakers on stage and connect with other women struggling with the same things, they realize, I’m not so crazy after all. Community opens our eyes to the truth, gives us the confidence and support we need to take the next step, and cultivates a place to belong. It’s everything we need to stop letting fear hold us back from making our dreams a reality.

The Three Types of Community You Need

No matter what stage of business you’re in, if you don’t have a community around you, I want you to make building one or getting into one a top priority this month. You should be a part of three different types of communities:

1. People in Your Shoes

This means people walking in the same shoes as you are or those in the same type of industry or business you’re in. When you come together, you feel a unique connection that you wouldn’t feel with someone in a completely different business. This will be your network of people who understand exactly what it’s like to do what you do.

When you get together to knowledge-share with this group, you exchange very specific advice on things like:

handling difficult customers
best practices, policies to protect yourself and vendor recommendations
marketing strategies specific to your target market
managing the seasonality of your business

2. People in Other Shoes

This is a group of people who have different perspectives from you because they work in different industries. It is so beneficial to have this community, because oftentimes, we get too close to our business. We can get so deep in the weeds that we truly can’t see the forest for the trees.

But when you seek support from those completely outside your business, they bring in a fresh pair of eyes and diverse ideas. It’s hard to get out of the mindset that the way you’ve been doing things is the only way to do them. When you bring in an outsider, they’re able to step in without the blinders or boundaries that typically constrain you. They help get you off the ground to get a wider and higher view of your business.

3. People You Serve

You need community for your personal and professional development. Well, the same is true for your customers. If you want them to feel connected with each other and with you, build a community where they can do so.

A few years ago, we started a Business Boutique Facebook group. And with almost no effort from me—I don’t post content or do any Facebook lives there—it blew up. We continue to get hundreds of new members, because women want to feel surrounded by other women with a similar mission. They want a place to ask for advice, share their elevator pitch, and simply feel heard. I don’t even have to maintain this Facebook group, because the power of community is in the community.

We have another Facebook community for the Business Boutique Academy. I jump in that group a lot for Facebook live videos and coaching sessions. It has created a different level of community because these women, as members of the Academy, are on the same track. They’re learning the same curriculum, working on the same homework, and receiving training on the same days. They’re able to take all of that to the next level by showing off their work and getting feedback from one another.

I do want to warn you about something that will come up when you create a community for your customers. You will likely experience some fear that, by creating it and connecting them with each other, there won’t be a need for you anymore. While this is a normal thought, it is simply not true. That’s the scarcity mentality that is so detrimental to business.

You are the initiator that introduced them to one another—the glue that keeps them together—so they will be that much more grateful to you for creating a place for their new community to thrive. Do what’s best for your customers. When you stop treating your customers only as individual transactions or one-on-one relationships, you create a movement. And a movement is what creates momentum, loyal customers and a community of people who rally around something.

Building a community is one of my favorite topics to talk about, because I truly believe it’s the difference between winning in business and giving up too soon. This is why we created the Business Boutique Academy, my online business training group where I get in your business with you. In the Academy, I teach on a new topic weekly, host a live coaching session monthly, and connect you with other like-minded women who are winning in business.

Building a Community from the Ground Up with Natalie Franke

Natalie Franke started a wedding photography business when she was in college. While it quickly became successful in her local market, she felt lonely in the world of entrepreneurship. She was craving a sense of community. But when she sought it out, she couldn’t find one that fit her values of camaraderie and support. So, she took matters into her own hands and set out to create a place for creative entrepreneurs to gather.

Natalie now leads the Rising Tide Society. She started this community by gathering creatives in her hometown of Annapolis, Maryland. Within months, the groups were spreading like wildfire around the country. Today, Rising Tide meetups happen across 400 cities around the world!

It’s no wonder these groups have become so popular. Community is desperately needed in our world of business. Humans find fulfillment and thrive the most in relationships, and it’s no different in business. Entrepreneurship is a team sport.

In this episode, Natalie and I talk about:

having a student mindset in business
why small business owners have to be in a community and where to find it
getting rid of the scarcity mentality and moving into one of abundance
the right way to handle competition
how to build a community within your specific industry

Don’t Be Anyone Else But You

Several years ago, when I was first named a personality for Ramsey Solutions, I had a consultation with a professional stylist. She was there to teach me how to look good on stage and on video. I’ll never forget the pictures she showed me on her phone. They were images of women she thought should be my inspiration. Every single photo was of a stiff, rigid, news anchor-looking woman with a bob and a navy suit. She kept telling me, “This is so you!” While I kept thinking, You’re so wrong.

She wanted me to dress and look like a woman who was nothing like me. In that moment, I had to make a decision: Either I was going to lean into what this professional stylist thought I should look like, or I was going to lean into what I thought I should look like.

Related: How to Be More Confident

Friends, you have to make the same decision when others invade your life to tell you “the right way” of doing things. You have to teach yourself to lean into what makes you you. That decision is up to you, but I want you to know there is no one in the world like you. No one can do what you can do the way you do it.

I want to encourage you to love and embrace your unique qualities, because that is what God is going to use in you. So what are the things that make you you? I dare you to lean into them. Let your weird flag fly.

#AskChristyWright

On today’s segment, we talk about:

how to get your customers to stick with you when you change your product offerings
how to get your products in stores
what to do during your slow seasons in business

If you have a question, give me a call on my toll-free line at 844.944.1074. You might hear your question on a future episode!

1:23 How to Build Community With Your Business

14:46 Building a Community From the Ground Up With Natalie Franke

35:30 #AskChristyWright

45:19 Encouragement: Don’t Be Anyone Else But You

Resources

We are opening enrollment for the Business Boutique Academy!

Text the code ACADEMYWAITLIST to 33444 to sign up for the Business Boutique Academy Waitlist to be notified the moment enrollment opens!

Sponsors

Check out our friends at Volusion. You can set up your online store and start selling your products within minutes. It’s that easy. Sign up for your FREE 14 day trial at Volusion.com/BB.

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at podcast@businessboutique.com.

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Download this Episode