The Christy Wright Show

Life can be overwhelming and the day-to-day grind can leave you feeling stuck, but it doesn't have to be that way. The Christy Wright Show will fire you up so you can break through limitations to create a life you love and are proud of. You will build confidence in yourself and the God who created you.
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Now displaying: 2020
Mar 30, 2020
If you’re like me, you might feel helpless right now. Discouraged and probably overwhelmed. I am with you. I can’t change what we are all going through together, but I wanted to do something. So I decided to put together a quick, scrappy and imperfect series to help shine some hope in the chaos we are in. I threw it together, texted a few friends to see if they would want to join me and put it on the calendar. I’m calling it Hope in the Chaos. Today I'm joined by my friend, Emily Ley.
We are going to walk with you and talk with you and process this with you. We’re going to pray and talk about what anchors us during this storm.
Would you join me for this? There’s no ask. No sale. No agenda. I just want to be present for you as we figure out how to get through this together in the coming days. I care about you friend, and I’m here for you. ❤️
You can view this entire series and receive the recap emails with journal questions if you visit
Mar 27, 2020

It’s scary out there, but hope is greater than fear. In times of crisis, facts are your friends. So get the facts and other common sense guidance on life and money from thought leaders and my friends, Dave Ramsey, Rachel Cruze, and Ken Coleman.

Mar 17, 2020

Stop People Pleasing and Live Life On Your Own Terms


1:16 Find Ways To Do More of What You Love and Less of What You Don't

9:19 Four Areas of Life Where You Can Live True to Yourself

19:14 Taking Control of Your Life with Chris Hogan

39:41 Challenge: Make Time for What’s Important

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Find ways to do more of what you love and less of what you don't.

Have you ever thought about what it looks like to actually live life on your own terms? That might sound simple, but if we’re honest, most of us have a hard time actually doing it.

I love to do things on my own terms. And because of that, I’ve done a few things that you might say are a little . . . weird. For instance, when I came home from college, Dancing With the Stars was in its first season. One week, an advertisement popped up for Latin and ballroom dance lessons in Nashville, and I thought, I think I’ll do it. So, I did. For almost two years, I took Latin and ballroom dance lessons, and I even competed in a dance competition. Now that's weird.

But that's not the only weird thing I've done. When all my friends were living in the city, I moved to a 40-acre farm with fainting goats, horses, and a mini donkey. While my friends were working their corporate jobs, I was mucking stalls. That's not normal.

And then I decided I wanted to play soccer. So I went to the YMCA in my area and signed up for the adult league. I didn’t have a team to play with, so they put me on a team with all Guatemalan men who spoke no English. And it was one of the most fun experiences of my life (not to mention, my Spanish got really stinking good).

It was amazing how all of these experiences, though weird, were a lot of fun. But what was even more important was that they were things I wanted to do. They were things that were true to me.

Here's what's interesting: Not everyone is quite as comfortable being a little weird, going against the “normal” logical path and plan for their lives, and doing some things that might be different.

Do you struggle with this? Maybe you feel like it’s not logical or practical to do something different. Maybe you’re worried about what people might think.

Friend, I don't want you to wait until it’s too late to decide that you want to live your life. I don't want to look back with that regret and feel like I always made the safe choice or did what other people thought I should do and I’m guessing you don’t either.

Do you know that your life is just that—yours? You don't just have the right to create the life you want. You have the responsibility to. No one can change your life. You have everything you need and all the power in the world to make different decisions today about who you are and what you want for your life, your family and your future.

You have permission to create a life that looks like who you are. You can be true to yourself without worrying about what everyone else thinks that you should be.

4 Areas of Life Where You Can Live True to Yourself

I want to give you four practical areas to explore in your own life that will help you be true to yourself. Maybe you're already doing it. Maybe you feel confident in all these areas, but maybe not. Maybe as we walk through these, you’ll start to look at these different areas of your life and realize you’re making decisions based on what other people think. And if you are, would you do anything differently?

1. Career

You have the right and responsibility to pursue a career that's right for you. You don't have to choose between being happy and making money. You actually can do both, believe it or not. So, what's the right career path, business path or money-making income path for you? How could you use your skills and gifts and talents in a way that could provide income for your life and your family?

2. Family

So, what does your family look like right now? What are some of the values you hold in your family? What are some of the decisions you make in your family? What does your day-to-day schedule look like? You have a right and responsibility to make your family look like anything you want it to. So, what does that look like for you?

3. Finances

When it comes to money, we often spend money in a way that other people expect us to, whether that’s shoes, home decor, or even where you send your kids to school. We often spend money to create a lifestyle that reflects what other people expect of us. But what if you didn't? What if you were weird?

What changes do you need to incorporate in order to manage your finances in a way that's true to you? Where your money is going is a reflection of your values, not someone else's. So where are you spending your hard-earned money?

4. Fun

What's fun to you? What's exciting to you? What interests you? What gives you joy and brings you energy? What makes life worth living? If we're not careful, we’ll get so busy keeping up with the to-do list of life that we forget to live it. So it's up to you to create the fun.

So, what's fun for you? What are some hobbies you love? What are some things you can do with your family?

Here's the deal: If you want a different life, you have to create it. No one can do that for you. Look at your career, your family, your finances, and what’s fun for you and begin to create a life that you love and are proud of.

Taking Control of Your Life with Chris Hogan

I’m so excited for you to meet my good friend and fellow Ramsey Personality Chris Hogan. He’s the host of The Chris Hogan Show and #1 national bestselling author of the books Retire Inspired and Everyday Millionaires. Chris is an expert on taking control of your life and money, and that’s exactly what we’re going to be talking about today.

On this episode, Chris and I talk about:

  • Money decisions that can affect every other area of your life
  • Getting out of the day-to-day grind and not letting life happen to you
  • Creating the courage and confidence you need to live life on your own terms
  • Replacing fear with gratitude

Challenge: Make Time for What’s Important

I’ve been noticing a pattern recently. I speak to women at all different ages and all different stages of life. And here's one phrase that they just keep saying over and over and over again: “Well, when things slow down, I'm going to (fill in the blank).” When things slow down . . . again and again and again.

The belief that is buried beneath this statement is that things will slow down on their own, right? Y'all, they never do. Things are never going to slow down unless you slow them down. Nothing in your life will change unless you change it. Do you understand that? It's not going to change on its own. It's up to you. Don't buy into the lie of “when things slow down,” because you and I both know that things will never slow down.

If you're waiting to have time left over to put toward what's important to you, you’ll never do it. Instead, I want you to make time for what’s important to you.

Mar 3, 2020

How to Create an Amazing Customer Service Experience


1:14 Create an Amazing Customer Service Experience

4:30 Five Ways to Improve Your Customer Service

15:14 Customer Service That Disrupts the Competition with Shep Hyken

33:45 Encouragement: Use Your Experiences to Shape Your Customer Service

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

When I wrote my book Business Boutique—a book entirely about how to start your own business—I left out something that I believe is crucial to winning in business: great customer service.

Do you know why I didn’t write about it? Because I believe, as women, we naturally excel in customer service. We’re relational. We’re great at connecting with people, serving others, nurturing, and thinking about how someone else feels. However, there’s always opportunity to grow, right?

Well, several years ago, I had a pretty frustrating experience with a customer service representative. It was so frustrating that I now use it as an example when I teach on what not to do when working with customers. Here’s what happened:

I got a notification in the mail that my dental insurance had been canceled. As you can imagine, I was really confused because there had been no other conversations about any problems with my dental insurance. And then one day, poof—it was canceled.

So naturally, I called and spoke with a customer service representative, and she told me, “Well, you didn't pay your bill. You pay it every six months, and you didn't pay it the last time it was due.” I responded, “I'm so sorry. I pay my bills. I wasn’t aware that it was due. I don’t remember getting a bill in the mail or hearing anything about this.” And her response was, “Well, we decided to become a paperless company a few months ago, so we just send emails now.”

It turns out, they had an old email that I hadn’t used in years. So, I kindly asked the “nice customer service person” if I could pay my bill right there over the phone and reinstate my insurance. Her response? She threw out three words that still makes me cringe to this day: “Our policy is . . .” Is there anything that makes a customer more upset than hearing, “I’m so sorry, but our policy is . . .”? Nobody cares about stinking policies!

We don’t have to run our businesses that way! In fact, your business will be more successful and more fun when you provide incredible customer service and put your customers before your policies.

5 Ways to Improve Your Customer Service

I want to give you five ways you can improve your customer service and help your business succeed:

1. Don't be late.

Always, always, always be on time. Whether it’s a shipment going out, returning a phone call or an email, showing up to a meeting—whatever it is, do it on time. When in doubt, I always want you to underpromise and overdeliver.

This one is convicting for me because I’m not great at it—I’m working on it. But this is the most basic way to keep your customers happy. Just be on time and do what you say you're going to do when you say you're going to do it.

2. Don’t be emotional.

Listen, I’ve got a lot of feelings. I have so many feelings that even my feelings have feelings. But whether you’re having a good day or a bad day, your customer doesn't care. Every day, your brand and your business should be having a good day.

Nothing will break trust with your customers like being Dr. Jekyll on one day and Mr. Hyde on another. You've got to be consistent in how you take care of people. Don't be emotional, and don't take your bad mood out on your customers.

3. Don’t forget to listen.

I know this sounds really basic, but when we're having a conversation with someone, whether it's a normal conversation, a positive conversation, or even a really heated conversation, we’re always thinking of what we're going to say next.

But instead of doing that, stop, listen, and ask follow-up questions. Most people just want to be heard. When they feel heard, they feel validated and understood.

Never underestimate the power of simply listening to someone's story, complaint, problem, frustration or fear. Listening is a really powerful way to serve your customers and make them feel valued.

4. Don’t make excuses.

As customers, we hate hearing excuses. So don't make excuses to them under any circumstances. If someone is unhappy with your product or something went wrong, there are only three things you need to do:

  • Own it.
  • Apologize for it.
  • Fix it.

Did you notice that “explain it” is nowhere on that list? That’s because no one cares about your explanations or your excuses! All they want is for you to own it, apologize for it, and then fix it. That's what your customers care about—I can promise you that.

5. Don’t use the word policy.

Please—I'm begging you. You hate it when companies use the word policy as an excuse for why they can't help you because that's exactly what it is: a cop-out. So, if you hate it, don’t do it to your customer! Be a fixer. Do the right thing and take care of people.

Now, of course you need policies to run a business and protect yourself, but at the end of the day, you should always do the right thing—what’s best for your customer. Live your life and build your business by the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

If you want to make your customer’s blood boil, then explain that you can't do something because of “your policy.” And watch how it instantly sucks all humanity, connection and trust out of any conversation with them. It makes your conversation about a transaction, not a relationship. That's what the word policy does.

So, have policies, but don't rely on them when it comes to customer service conversations. Instead, use common sense.

At the end of the day, each of these five mistakes boils down to the Golden Rule. If you're not sure how to handle the situation, all you have to do is ask yourself: How would I want to be treated?

Now that is great customer service.

Customer Service That Disrupts the Competition with Shep Hyken

I'm so excited about my guest today. Shep Hyken is a speaker and customer service expert, and he's the author of the book The Convenience Revolution: How to Deliver A Customer Service Experience That Disrupts the Competition and Creates Fierce Loyalty.

On this episode, Shep and I talk about:

  • Common mistakes people make when providing great customer service experiences
  • How to win your customers over from the competition
  • Being consistent and teaching your customers how to work with you
  • Using your customer’s negative experience as an opportunity to serve them well
  • Five steps that will help you handle any negative customer experience

Encouragement: Use Your Experiences to Shape Your Customer Service

I've got an idea that's going to help you really step up your customer service game. Are you ready? It's so easy.

I want you to think about—and pay attention to—the types of customer service experiences that you have as a customer. I want you to think about the really, really good and really, really bad experiences. We’ve all experienced both. So why not use them to your advantage in your business? Lean into those situations and learn from them.

Ask yourself: What's so great about the great ones, and how can I be great too? What's so bad about the bad ones, and how could I make sure that I'm nothing like that?

You can use these past personal experiences not only to learn and grow from, but also to help you build your business on solid practices that will serve your customers even better.

Feb 18, 2020

Become A Woman Who Supports Other Women


1:22 Become A Woman Who Supports Other Women

8:42 Five Ways to Become A Woman Who Supports Other Women

18:49 Women Supporting Women with Liz Cox

33:45 Encouragement: Shake Off the Shame

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

I’m the product of countless women who have invested and poured into me—and I bet you are too.

In fact, I don't know where I would be in my life today without the support of other women.

I'm so passionate about being a woman who champions other women, but you know what I've realized? It’s incredibly hard for us women to do. There are just so many things in our world that divide us.

Sometimes the division looks like mommy wars and parent shaming. Other times it looks like being jealous of the woman at work who got the promotion instead of being excited for her. Or maybe it’s rolling your eyes at how your neighbor parents her child differently than you do.

Regardless of how the situation plays out, there often seems to be an ugly division between us and other women. It’s like no matter where we stand, we’re always looking down on someone else.

But here's something I deeply believe: The reason we’re so quick to judge women with decisions different from ours is simply because we're not completely comfortable with our own choices. It's not because we think she's so wrong. It's because we're worried that maybe we're wrong.

When we’re constantly insecure about our own choices, we project that onto other women by judging their decisions.

But if you want to be a woman who supports other women, you have to do what that kind of woman does! You have to connect your desire to be one with your behavior and your attitude—you know, actually walk the talk.

It all starts with the woman in the mirror. That’s why I want to talk about five intentional behaviors you can choose to do to become the type of woman who champions other women.

5 Ways to Become A Woman Who Supports Other Women

1. Love yourself.

You have to love yourself before you can love anybody else. The reason we’re so hard on others is because we’re so hard on ourselves. And if there’s no love in you for yourself, I promise you, you’ll have no love to offer other people.

The truth is: You can’t offer something you don't have. So if you want to offer love and champion other women, you need to love yourself first.

2. Be confident in your own choices.

You can't champion someone else’s choices if you aren't sure about your own.

3. Give grace.

Choosing to give grace when the women in your life disappoint you will allow you to champion them despite their imperfections. Because what we all really need more of is grace.

I’m going to mess up, you’re going to mess up, and she's going to mess up. We're all going to mess up. That’s why we should not only offer more grace to others, but we should offer ourselves more of it too.

4. Have Empathy.

Empathy is simply putting yourself in someone else's shoes. It's giving them the benefit of the doubt. It's imagining what it would be like to be them.

All day, every day, all we ever think about is how we feel. We look at the world through our lens, unique situation, or personality style, which makes it hard to understand why someone else would respond or act differently than we would.

That’s why it’s so important to have empathy. And what’s amazing is, when you do that, it’s so easy to champion people who are different from you.

5. Give what you want to get.

If you want people to champion you, champion them. If you want people to love you, love them. If you want people to be kind to you, be kind to them. Give the things you want to get, and I promise you, you’ll get what you want and more.

Y’all, being a woman who champions other women is a beautiful thing. And the best part is, anyone can be that kind of person. When you practice loving yourself, being confident in your own choices, giving grace, having empathy, and giving what you want to get, it's amazing how quickly you’ll move from being a woman who just wants to support other women to someone who actually does it.

Women Supporting Women with Liz Cox

All right y’all, I'm so excited for you to meet Liz Cox, an incredible businesswoman and Business Boutique success story. She's the marketing director at Twirl Boutique, co-owner of Mint to Be Boutique, and host of the Twirl Talk podcast. But best of all, Liz beautifully lives out this whole idea of supporting and championing other women.

On this episode, Liz and I talk about:

  • What it looks like to champion women who are in different life seasons
  • How to identify and fight against barriers that keep you from intentional friendship
  • How to navigate emotions in your life and business

Encouragement: Shake Off the Shame

I've noticed something going around social media and the internet in the last few years that I bet you’ve noticed too.

Shaming has become a trend.

I’ve seen articles like “So-and-so mom-shamed so-and-so.” It’s almost become this force outside of our control—like, at any time, we can become victims of this shame monster.

But it’s just not true. Sure, there are certain things that you might feel ashamed of. If you make a mistake and someone points it out, sure, you're probably going to feel a little embarrassed.

Or let's say there's something you're feeling insecure about, and someone rubs salt in the wound. Yeah—you might take on that shame.

But you know what?  There's one key trait I've noticed that makes you shame-repellent, both online and in person: simply being confident.

Be proud of whatever the thing is someone is trying to shame you about. Because people can't shame you about something you're proud of.

For example, if someone tried to make me feel bad online about the fact that I work outside the home . . . well, that would never work because I love my job. I love how I use my gifts. And I'm so stinking proud of what I get to do.

So, if anyone ever tries to shame you and make you feel bad or guilty about something, remember this:

You're in charge of you. No one can make you feel anything. Your feelings are your own. And if you're constantly feeling like a victim to shame or guilt or anything else, you need to take a look in the mirror and rethink who's in control. Because those people who shame you aren’t in control of you. They're not in control of your thoughts or your feelings. You are.

If you want to be a little bit less defenseless to shame and everyone else's opinion of you, find confidence. Find confidence in the choices that are right for you. Be proud of those decisions, because when you're proud of something, people can't make you feel bad about it.

Feb 4, 2020

Embrace Your Past and Tell Your Story


1:20 Sharing Your Story

6:38 Three Reasons You Should Tell Your Story

14:44 How to Tell Your Story with Jamie Ivey

39:10 Encouragement: Wisdom Is Not Weakness


2020 Business Boutique Goal Planner

Get going on your goals and make 2020 your best year yet! Order the new Business Boutique 2020 Goal Planner at and use the code BBPLANNER to receive Christy’s Setting Goals video that you can watch right now!

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

For years, I’ve been sharing my story of growing up with a single mom who built a business (a cake shop) when I was six months old to raise and support me.

This story is a huge part of my passion and heart behind Business Boutique.

I love sharing the memories I have of our late nights and early mornings in her cake shop. I learned so much from those years helping my mom build her business from the bottom up. But you know what I don’t share as often? How hard it was.

There were so many hard times we had to walk through together. Like the time her cake shop was broken into at two in the morning, or the time we ran out of gas on the side of the road while it was raining. Many of those early years were spent in the trenches watching my mom raise a child and build a business completely on her own.

But it was both those good times and those hard times that made me who I am today.

See, there is power in telling your story. When I share my story, it really ignites the passion in me to champion women from all walks of life who are chasing their dreams like my mom was. And this is the same reason I’m constantly telling you to tell your story too. I tell you to not worry about selling, but to just tell your story—to start with your why.

But the truth is: A lot of people are scared to share their story. When we start to explore our past, we tend to focus on the negative parts of it. And when we see only the negative parts of our story, we immediately feel inadequate and disqualified to do the things we want to do.

But I want to encourage you today: It might just be those parts of you—those “inadequate” beginnings—that position you to do something that no one else can do but you.

So, let's talk about some of the unbelievable benefits that come when you tell your story—both the good and the bad:

Three Reasons You Should Tell Your Story

1. It creates connection.

Sharing your story causes a ripple effect. It's contagious!

It's amazing how many people think they’re the only ones who feel the way they feel or have experienced what they’ve experienced. But when you open up and share your story and your heart, others realize that there are actually other people out there who can relate to their situation. And you know what? Realizing they’re not alone gives them the freedom to open up and share their story as well!

I love how Craig Groeschel puts it: “We might impress people with our strengths, but we connect with people through our weaknesses.”

2. It brings hope.

Think about it this way: Your story's not just yours. Your story is something that God wants to use to give other people hope for the future—to give them hope through hard times and scary moments.

Are you going through something hard right now? Maybe God wants to use you to shine a light to others.

It's not just an option for you to share your story. It's your responsibility to steward this story that God wants to use to bring hope to other people.

3. It can become your passion.

Dave Ramsey has built an incredible business helping millions of people get out of debt. How did this become his job? He went bankrupt and lost everything in his 20s. Because of that experience, he vowed never to take on debt again—and today, he’s successfully helped millions of others do the same thing.

Your story—no matter how dark or how difficult it is—can become your life’s work when you share it with the world.

There are so many incredible benefits to sharing your story. Don’t be ashamed of it. Let it be your testimony that glorifies God because of what He’s brought you through.

So, share your heart. Tell your story. Don't keep it to yourself. God wrote your story, not just for you, but because He wants to bless others through it as well.

How to Tell Your Story with Jamie Ivey

My good friend Jamie Ivey is our guest on the show today! Jamie is a speaker, host of The Happy Hour podcast, and author of the book, If You Only Knew.

I'm so excited to have her here today because she has an amazing story. She's going to teach us about how she got comfortable sharing her story—and how it’s changed her life—so we can learn how to share our stories too.

On this episode, Jamie and I talk about:

  • How to start small and get comfortable sharing your story
  • How to discern what to share with your audience and what not to share
  • How to push past the fear when you don’t want to share vulnerable areas of your life

Encouragement: Wisdom Is Not Weakness

Last spring, I was training for a half marathon. It wasn’t my first time running a long-distance race while pregnant, so I figured I’d be fine.

And I was fine for most of the training. I’d trained up to a 10-mile run and felt great . . . until the week leading up to the half marathon. All of a sudden, I was having a lot of pain—not just running pain, but actual pregnancy pain. But I just kept telling myself, I've done the training. I can do this.

Still, I continued feeling more and more pain throughout the week. I found myself needing to sit down more—I couldn’t even make dinner at the kitchen counter without needing to sit.

So, I called my nurse to make sure everything was okay and ask her if she thought I could do this half marathon. She said, “Well, you’re a runner. You can physically do it. I'm not going to tell you that you can't. However, if you run this half marathon, by the end, you will not be able to walk.”

As you can imagine—because I’m persistent to a fault—even after those words, I was still considering running the race . . . until that night when I tried to stand at the kitchen counter to cut some fruit for my son and had to sit down again. I finally admitted to myself, Christy, if you cannot stand here to cut some cantaloupe, you probably shouldn’t try to run 13.1 miles tomorrow.

So, that was it—I decided not to run the half marathon. But y’all know me. I wasn't totally giving up. I decided I would do the 5K instead.

Well, that night, I woke up at about 1:30 a.m. with pregnancy insomnia. I was up the rest of the night, so I started talking with God about my plans for the race. And I thought, You know, maybe God is telling me not to run at all—like zero miles. Maybe I should sleep in, rest, and pay attention to what He's trying to tell me.

So, at 4:30 a.m., I decided to sit out of the race completely. No half marathon. No 5K. Nothing.

That was so hard for me. You know what I was hearing in my head? You said you were going to do it. You told people you were going to do it. You put it on your Instagram story. You can do it. You did the mileage. You could do this. You should do it. Are you just giving up? Because you know, you could make yourself do it.

To turn off this narrative in my head and decide to choose wisdom over pride was hard.

The next day, when I gave a recap of this on my Instagram story, someone messaged me and said, “Sometimes saying no is harder than running the race itself.” Isn't that true?

Sometimes sitting out, quitting, tapping the brakes, passing on an opportunity, and slowing down is actually harder than pushing forward and pushing through.

I don't know about you guys, but if I get really honest about what was going on in my head, it wasn’t about performing or caring about what others expected of me. It was about pride.

So, let me share something with you that I'm learning: Pride is not power. It's not strength. It's just pride. And wisdom is not weakness. It doesn't mean you’re less than. It doesn't mean you're settling. It doesn't mean you're lazy. It means you're wise. It means you're smart.

God did not let me go to that race. God did not let me push through, hurt myself, or make the wrong decision.

So, I want to give you a challenge today: Maybe right now you’re facing something hard, and you don’t want to say no or sit back because your pride is rising up. You’re thinking, I can do this. I should do this. What will other people think of me? I told people I was going to do it. Well, I want to encourage you to lean in and listen to God's will for your life—not yours.

Because if He's asking you to push through, I promise you He will give you the strength to do it. But if He's asking you to slow down, sit back, and say no, I promise you, if you lean in and listen, He will not let you make the wrong decision.

Jan 21, 2020

How to Be Authentic and Live Confidently as Yourself


1:19 How to Be Authentic

17:03 Being Authentic with Sarah Dubbeldam

41:10 Encouragement: God Did Not Create You to Berate You


2020 Business Boutique Goal Planner

Get going on your goals and make 2020 your best year yet! Order the new Business Boutique 2020 Goal Planner at and use the code BBPLANNER to receive Christy’s Setting Goals video that you can watch right now!

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Be confident in your authenticity, even when life and other people try to push you around or tell you to be someone you're not.

A couple of years ago, I was asked to write an article for a very professional publication. Their readers are intellectuals, academics, and probably more conservative and elite. So, you can imagine my surprise that they wanted me—someone who prefers to be more casual and down to earth—to write an article for them about starting a business.

I submitted the article and was a little surprised when they came back with feedback that the tone of my writing was “too chatty.” I was like, Really? You’re surprised by that? Have you not heard me speak, read my blogs, or listened to one of my podcasts? Because that tone is actually my entire brand!

I remember thinking, If you don't want chatty, then you probably don't want me.

Related: Ep 86: Be More Confident by Believing in Yourself

I felt like this publication wanted me to be someone I wasn't. They wanted me to write like an academic with big fancy words, and that's just not how I write, talk or connect with people.

Thankfully, we ended up getting to a good place where they felt like the article met their standards and could be published while staying true to my voice. But it was really eye-opening for me to realize how important it is to not only be authentic, but to be confident in that authenticity, even when life and other people try to push you around or tell you to be someone you're not.

That's why today I want to walk you through how to be authentic in your daily life. This is going to help you not only be authentic, but also remain authentic no matter who tries to push you around. Let’s jump right in . . .

How to Be Authentic

1. Be vulnerable.

Let me go ahead and start by saying this is not my idea. Brené Brown introduced this idea of vulnerability years ago with her book Daring Greatly and her TED Talk “The Power of Vulnerability.” It's a brilliant concept that says, as we step out in vulnerability—as we open ourselves up, not just to pain but also to love—we’re able to have deeper connections and a deeper sense of confidence in who we really are.

As an Enneagram eight, vulnerability is really hard for me. So often I want to put up a tough exterior like I've got it all together. But the truth this: Authenticity is about trueness, and you can’t live your truest self without being vulnerable. If you’re always holding back a piece of yourself or hiding behind a tough exterior, how can you become who God created you to be?

That’s why vulnerability is so important when it comes to being authentic.

2. Tell the truth.

There are two extremes when it comes to telling the truth: There are those who never share the truth, and those who refuse to accept the truth.

Those who never want to share the truth lack the ability to be vulnerable. They want to act like everything is always great, so when someone asks how they’re doing—even if they’re going through a hard time or their kids are driving them crazy—their response is always, “Oh, I’m fine. I'm doing great.”

The other extreme are those who downplay or don’t acknowledge when things are going well in their lives. You know, this person: You give them a compliment about a beautiful meal, a flattering dress, or the way they lead the charge on a big project at work, and they dismiss it or downplay it. They say something like, “Oh, this old thing?” or “It was really a team effort. I didn’t do much.”

Related: Ep 83: Develop Self-Awareness and Turn Your Weaknesses Into Strengths

When you dismiss compliments, you're not only dismissing your own sense of confidence in that moment, but you're also dismissing the truth. So, instead of always rejecting the kind things people say about you, resist the urge to say anything other than thank you. To live a more authentic life, tell the truth—when things aren’t going well and when they are.

3. Know your values.

So often we identify with the roles we play, like wife, mom, sister, friend, leader, etc. And what's interesting is, if we're not careful, we’ll always operate from the surface level of our roles. We’ll fulfill tasks for the people in our lives while missing the deeper layer of what our mind and our heart truly desires and values.

We say things like: “I’d love to work out, but I don't have time to. I value playing with my kids outside, but by the time I get home from work, I don't have any energy left. I’d love to go on a vacation with my husband, but we haven't even been on a date in months.” How can you say you truly value those things when you don’t actually do them?

When you don't spend your life and your time on things that are important to you, you'll live your life stressed, anxious and exhausted because there's an inconsistency between what you value and what your life actually reflects. So, a key to being authentic is to close that gap—to identify what’s important to you, and then actually do those things.

4. Love yourself.

It's amazing how we—women especially—will spend our entire day, from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to sleep, beating ourselves up about how we look, how we dress, how we keep our house, how we parent our kids, how we fail at work, etc. It’s an all day, every day narrative in our head that is mean and exhausting.

But you know what? You can't offer something you don't have, and you can't lead others where you are not. So, if you want to love people in your life, sister, you better love yourself first.

I love how Brené Brown says, “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”

Here’s a really practical tip to help you do that: Go to your Bible! God has some amazing things to say about you. He says He delights over you with singing. That He knit you together in your mother's womb. That He would move heaven and earth for you. That he chose you and that he loves you. You are precious in his sight. Replace the lies in your head and heart with those truths.

If you’ll practice these four things, you’ll be on your way to living a much more authentic life—one that is true to you and that you’re proud of.

Being Authentic with Sarah Dubbeldam

I'm so excited about my guest today, Sarah Dubbeldam! Sarah is the founder and creative director of Darling Media and Darling magazine, a publication that celebrates real women. I love this magazine so much. They have a beautiful quote on the back of their magazine that I believe illustrates what it means to live authentically. It says:

“Darling is the art of being a woman. Darling magazine holds the modern mold of women up to the fire to evoke a discussion on femininity and reshape an authentic design. Darling is a catalyst for positive change; leading women to discover beauty apart from vanity, influence apart from manipulation, style apart from materialism, sweetness apart from passivity, and womanhood without degradation. Darling leads women to practice the arts of virtue, wit, modesty and wisdom, all while creating beauty and embodying love. Darling says women are not only interesting but original, not only good enough, but exceptional, not just here but here for a purpose.”

On this episode, Sarah and I talk about:

  • Why it’s so important to live according to your values
  • What modesty actually means and what it looks like
  • How living authentically leads to living confidently

Encouragement: God Did Not Create You to Berate You

A few months ago, I had an experience that absolutely rocked me to my core.

My husband, Matt, and I were hanging out at our friend’s house for a cookout. The weather was amazing so we—the adults and the kids—were hanging out in the backyard.

My husband watched the boys while I ate, and when I finished, I told him I’d take over watching the boys so he could go inside and get some food.

Well, I went to throw my plate of food away, and the next thing I know, I see my husband running out of the back door to the front of the house. And as soon as I saw him dart past me, I knew what had happened: Conley, my son, had run off.

I took off after my husband and saw Conley standing at the end of the driveway with his toes on the street as cars were flying by. Thank God we got him. Nothing happened. But him getting out of the backyard and near the street was my fault. I was supposed to be watching him.

I cried the rest of the day and kept thinking, How could I be so stupid? What must my husband think of me? What must my friends think? Those thoughts went on and on as I beat myself up about the mistake I’d made.

Now, I want to be clear: The mistake I made that day—taking my eyes off Conley—was not okay.

But you know what else was not okay? How I lived in that shame for the rest of the day.

Related: Ep 76: Practice Self-Care and Give Yourself Grace

As I was praying throughout the day—praying and crying and praying and crying—I felt God say to me, “Christy, we’re a team. Conley is my son too, and I'm going to help you when you fall short. I'm going to be there. There's grace for you in your mistakes.”

I was so incredibly thankful for that reminder. And today, I just want to remind you: When you have those kind of voices in your head—when you make a mistake or you slip up and you're just beating yourself up—I want you to stop and ask yourself a question: Is this what God says about me?

Because I guarantee you, those voices are not from God because God did not create you to berate you.

God will coach. He will correct. He will convict. He will help you grow, improve and mature. But He will not tear you down. He is a God who builds up. He is a God who gives grace. He is a God who shows up. And He is a God who loves His children.

God doesn't just love Conley. God loves me—even in my flaws, my failures and my setbacks.

I love how the Bible reminds us that God is love. First and foremost, God is loving. So, if the thoughts you're feeling or the words you're hearing in your mind aren’t loving, then they're not from God. At the end of the day, the most important identity you take on is that of a loved, chosen daughter of the King. Rest in that today.

I hope this not only encourages you to appreciate someone that might be wired differently than you, but also gives you some practical tips to work better with them.

Jan 7, 2020

How to Set New Year's Goals That Will Transform Your Year


1:29 The Difference Between New Year’s Resolutions and New Year’s Goals

8:48 The 3 Qualities You Need to Set Smart New Year’s Goals

17:13 New Year Goal Setting with Rachel Hollis

28:31 Challenge: How to Love the Enthusiasts in Your Life


2020 Business Boutique Goal Planner

Get going on your goals and make 2020 your best year yet! Order the new Business Boutique 2020 Goal Planner at and use the code BBPLANNER to receive Christy’s Setting Goals video that you can watch right now!

If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at

New podcast episodes are available every other week.

Forget about New Year’s resolutions this year. They’re a waste of time.

Instead, set smart New Year’s goals you’ll actually accomplish.

Believe it or not, they’re not the same thing!

The Difference Between New Year’s Resolutions and New Year’s Goals

Resolutions might as well be considered a wish. It’s an idea of something you want to try that year. Sure, it’s fun and inspiring. But the truth is: We fall off the wagon by February. It’s the reason why you can’t find an empty treadmill at the gym in January. But by February, you can walk right into the gym and start running.

Goals are different from resolutions because goals are action oriented.

Zig Ziglar made goal setting popular with something he called the Wheel of Life. We talked about this in a recent podcast episode so if you haven't listened to that already, go back and hear me deep dive into the Wheel of Life in episode 88. To give you a quick recap, there are seven areas in your life you should prioritize and set goals in (especially New Year’s goals!):

  1. Career (or business)
  2. Finances
  3. Spiritual growth
  4. Physical health
  5. Intellectual growth
  6. Family
  7. Social

Today, I want to help you start 2020 on the right foot by setting New Year’s goals in each of these areas.

Because your ability to set goals will completely affect not just how you start the year, but also how you end it.

The 3 Qualities You Need to Set Smart New Year’s Goals

Every goal you set should have these three qualities:

1. Specific

A New Year's resolution like, “I want to run more,” doesn’t work because it’s not specific. And when you’re not specific, you can’t track your progress or even know if you’ve accomplished it or not.

For example, if you told me you wanted to run more, I’d ask you, “Well, how? Do you want to do long-distance running? Sprints? Do you want to run on the treadmill or outside? Do you want to do trail runs on your own or join a running group?” There's a lot of different ways for you to run more, so get specific.

2. Measurable

Then, I’d tell you to make the goal measurable by asking, “How much more?” Maybe you can run one mile right now without stopping and you'd like to work your way up to running five miles. Or maybe you want to sign up for a race and run a 5K or a half marathon. What is the measurable distance you want to be able to run in order to know that you've actually achieved this goal?

3. Have a time limit

Finally, I’d tell you to give your goal a time limit by asking, “By when?” If your goal doesn’t have a time limit, you won’t be able to measure whether you actually reached it or not.

Related: How to Write Smart Goals

Incorporating those three qualities into your New Year’s goal of running more would turn it into something like: I want to do more long-distance running and complete a half marathon by March 30th.

Now, that’s a goal! You’ll know exactly what you're working on and working toward. And of course, because you have these different ways to measure your progress, you’ll know if you achieved it or not, which is great accountability.

Set Even Stronger New Year’s Goals

Let’s take this one step further. If you really want to accomplish your goals this year, then I want you to add three more qualities to make them even stronger. Make sure they’re:

1. Yours

Your goals need to be things you want, otherwise you won’t work hard for them.

2. Realistic

There’s a long list of things I could never do no matter how many goals I set. And honestly, the same is true for you. Your goals should push you outside your comfort zone, but they shouldn’t be a pipe dream.

Related: Setting Short-Term Goals Based on the Season You’re In

3. In writing

There is power in writing things down. When you write down your goals on paper, you can see them, touch them, and feel them. They become tangible and take on a life of their own.

Y’all, I hope you’ll consider dropping resolutions this year in favor of strong New Year’s goals. Because goals that are specific, measurable, yours, realistic, in writing, and have a time limit are much more likely to be accomplished than a New Year’s wish.

New Year Goal Setting with Rachel Hollis

I'm so excited about my guest today, Rachel Hollis! Rachel is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, an unbelievable motivational speaker, the host of the Rise and Rise Together podcasts, and the founder and CCO of The Hollis Company. Oh, and she's also a wife, mom of four, and goal-setting master!

On this episode, Rachel and I talk about:

  • Why she wrote her book Girl, Stop Apologizing.
  • The unique way she writes goals to achieve big things.
  • How to stay disciplined and motivated in your humble beginnings.

Challenge: How to Love the Enthusiasts in Your Life

Years ago, a friend shared something brilliant with me.

She told me that most people fall into one of two categories: the wow person and the how person.

You know the wow person—you can't miss them! For them, everything is wow! “Wow, I have a great, new idea. Wow, we should totally do that. Wow, let’s take that vacation and leave tonight!” Can you take a wild guess who the wow person is in my marriage?

But we can't all be wow people—and that’s for the best. We all need our how people.

The how person usually counters the wow person with questions like, “How will this work? How long will this take? How much money will this cost? How would you feel? How will I feel? How will this end? How will we get it done?”

We need these people because they make sure things actually happen. While the wow people are busy dreaming and running off cliffs, the how people are asking very good, important questions about time, budget, resources and a path to success.

Related: Say What They're Thinking

This world is full of both wow people and how people. And as you can imagine, in most marriages, there’s a combination of both—opposites definitely attract.

The advice I received that day when I learned about these two types of people was about how the two can work better together. And I’ll tell you, it’s been transformational in my marriage.

Here’s how it goes:

If you’re the how person and you have a wow person in your life, you’re probably used to the wow person coming home every night with a new idea—because they always do. Am I right? They barge through the door and go on and on about their brilliant, new idea.

Typically, the how person will immediately go into their how questions. But today, I want to challenge you to do something different.

If you’re the how person, instead of going directly into your questions, don’t ask any how questions for 24 hours. I know. That’ll probably be really hard for you, but it doesn't matter. No how questions for 24 hours! Instead, join them in their wow by responding with enthusiasm like, “Wow, that’s amazing. Wow, that’s interesting. Wow, that's creative.”

If, after 24 hours, the wow person in your life is still talking about the same wow idea—which is highly unlikely because by then they’ve usually moved on to 17 different, new, more exciting ideas—only then can you start asking all of your how questions.

I know it sounds crazy, but just try it and see how it goes.

When I come home, my husband is very tempted to ask me all of his how questions when I have a new idea. But the reality is: I have a new idea every day. Very rarely do I come home and have an idea that I stick with days or weeks later.

But if it does stick, then, of course, we can get into the plan and all the practical stuff. But you know what? That’s why both types of people are important. We can’t have exciting, new ideas without the wow people, and we can’t bring those ideas to life without the how people. We need wow people and their big dreams as much as we need how people and their details.

I hope this not only encourages you to appreciate someone that might be wired differently than you, but also gives you some practical tips to work better with them.

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